Football Ramble

Time for a Tuesday tickle! Marcus, Vish and Jim discuss Aston Villa’s breakneck start to the season and Morgan Rogers and Ollie Watkins turning into a quality big man, bigger man partnership. Plus, we wonder just how good Newcastle are after a disastrous time of it at the tweediest stadium in the Premier League – while their former man Andy Carroll gets dragged out of a vineyard and immediately sc...

Join Marcus, Jim and Vish as we recap the biggest game of the season so far, where Arsenal had to be at their dastardly, ugly best to keep Man City at bay. It’s refreshing to see two sides who genuinely can’t stand each other.  We also whip round the rest of what proved to be a cracking Premier League weekend as Luis Diaz brought the fireworks, West Ham continue to welcome opponents in with o...

A listener gets in touch asking how Rodri can possibly complain about too many games when he signed a new Man City contract after the new Champions League format was announced. Marcus, Luke and Andy discuss the idea that players should take matters into their own hands and begin rejecting new contracts if they’re really serious about the tough schedule. Elsewhere, players that never played in the...

The Football Ramble have managed to gain exclusive access to Mikel Arteta’s team talk for their trip to Man City on Sunday… “Live. Laugh. Love.” Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete look ahead to the thigh rubber of the weekend and propose that Kevin De Bruyne and Martin Odegaard have an arm wrestle on the sidelines to entertain the crowd. Elsewhere, Anthony Gordon drives a VERY BIG car and Cagliari...

Could players really go on strike? And just how much will certain journalists at certain newspapers lose their nut if they do? Night two of three in the first week of the Champions League was overshadowed by Rodri’s comments that a strike might soon be the only option. Marcus and Luke discuss that and remember the time that former Pompey man Jon Gittens called the ref a chicken nugget. There’s als...

The Champions League is back and it was an emphatic night for Aston Villa on their return to Europe's top table. *Insert gag about it looking like men against boys*. Elsewhere, Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete dine on some tasty Carabao after Man United’s big win last night and Paul Mullin almost dined on Alex Cochrane in the “Hollywood” derby. Plus, Andy Carroll is set to spend the year drinking wine...

The Premier League vs Man City began yesterday. And while Lionel Hutz is still reading out the charges, we thought we better try and get our heads around what it all means. Marcus, Vish and Andy discuss the biggest legal standoff since Wagatha Christie and look ahead to Aston Villa beginning their tax evasion tour of Europe with a game against Young Boys on the 3G. Just mind where you leave your b...

Everyone at the Football Ramble would like to offer a deep and sincere apology to Nuno Espírito Santo and all the players and fans of Nottingham Forest, we are sorry we ever doubted you. Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish plot how we can get Nuno sacked so our prediction comes true. Elsewhere, we explain why Mikel Arteta could be the new José Mourinho and Jim declares that Jhon Durán is the best st...

Before the Premier League’s return, our eyes are also wandering across to the continent of course! The Champions League is back next week and after all the talk of Swiss-style formats, listener Craig asks Marcus, Andy and Vish what they’re looking forward to – and who their dark horses are! No Vish, you can’t pick PSG… Plus, which current players could survive in the mid-90s Prem? And what’s our f...

It’s the North London Derby this weekend and Marcus is naturally excited by England’s Raheem Sterling potentially being involved. Today, he's joined by Andy and Vish to consider how Arsenal will cope with the loss of Martin Ødegaard and Declan Rice. Elsewhere, we fear for Everton who are in discussions with John Textor buy the club, and Erik ten Hag has created a new mantra that supposedly will fi...

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back together, all happy in one friendly sack. But you know who isn’t in one friendly sack? Chelsea’s owners. Amidst reports of a big falling out between Todd and that Clearlake lot, we speculate what kind of stadium will be built by two owners who refuse to acknowledge each other’s presence. Sounds promising, after all. Before that, we field some of your questions about L...

Harry Kane celebrated his 100th England cap last night by wearing a pair of golden Skechers. Charlie Kane must be really proud of himself for organising that one. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete are here to reflect on England’s win last night and also quieten some of the hype surrounding future World Cup winner Angel Gomes. Elsewhere, Craig Bellamy has his summer jacket destroyed by some extraor...

Koeman vs Bergwijn, Gordon Ramsay vs Jeremy Clarkson and – the derby of Europe – England vs Finland. Marcus, Luke and Jim are back to talk about all the biggest clashes you can possibly think of. We decide who’s right, who’s wrong, and who’s got their balls out in the continuing standoff between Ronald Koeman and former Spurs man, Steven Bergwijn. Plus, the president of a club in Italy makes a dra...

Lee Carsley’s first game as interim England manager started amongst a media storm. Perfect preparation for getting the job full-time then… Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim explain why the players are all too happy to play under Carsley after England’s win at the weekend. Elsewhere, we analyse Steve McClaren’s attempts to learn Jamaican Patois, dissect a trademark heartbreaking defeat for Scotland, and...

Today, the post-Southgate era begins. Introducing… Carsball? Nah. One listener wonders just how important it is that England are radically different under Carsley compared to Southgate – Marcus, Luke & Andy discuss. Plus, will players start behaving differently to avoid ‘doing an Osimhen’? Will amateur football get rid of the offside rule? And with ol’ Stevo and his hair island managing on the...

San Marino officially “got their scraps” last night. Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to celebrate a historic night as they earned their first-ever competitive win. Billy Gilmour also got his scraps but Scotland didn’t get the points, much to the confusion of Andy. Plus, we look ahead to Lee Carsley’s first match as England manager and gear up for the launch of the Pitbull Stadium. It’s Friday, don’...

Three games into the new season and we’ve already got an international break… brilliant! Today, Marcus and Luke discuss Lee Carsley's brave but exciting first England squad. Marcus tells Luke why England need Reece James to bounce back from his injury troubles. Marcus also reveals what musician should be employed to motivate the England squad. No prizes for guessing who he chose… Join the Football...

Steve Bruce is back, baby! Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete celebrate his arrival at Blackpool by trying to decide if they would rather go for a drink with him or Nathan Jones. Elsewhere, Jim explains why things might not be as bad as we think at Man United and Cristiano Ronaldo tells everyone that he should still be starting for Portugal. Plus, Leicester have shithoused the Premier League. Jamie Vardy...

Everyone wants to bring a wee mate with them on deadline day, right? This year, the end of the window actually threw up some fascinating storylines for some big names, including Jadon Sancho switching one frying pan for another, slightly less hot frying pan. Marcus, Luke and Jim catch up with the best of the headlines. We discuss Raheem Sterling (and soon Harry Kane’s) move to Eng- I mean Arsenal....

Everything looked so good for Everton but like all good horror films, it all went wrong in the end. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete show a degree of sympathy towards Everton fans for the nightmare that they are currently living through. Elsewhere, it was the same old story for Man United at home to Liverpool - at least Erik ten Hag won the FA Cup, though. Plus, there are mentions for Richard Key...

With the transfer window shut Marcus, Jim and Andy dream up some transfers from football history they wish they could’ve forced through. Jim’s packing Carlos Tevez off to distant lands and guess where Andy’s sending Gabriel Batistuta and Ronaldo… We also try to decide what’s the toughest job in football - whether that’s managing this current iteration of Manchester United, the Brazilian national t...

Today, Pete and Andy have a Freaky Friday body swap, which means Pete tells Marcus and Jim about some Turkish transfer news and Andy tells us about a world-champion hot dog eater that has been banned from next year’s competition. Incredible. Elsewhere, we make the case for Ant and Dec to host the Champions League draw and Marcus gets excited about Lee Carsley’s first England squad. Plus, Andy expl...

Today, we're bringing you a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon. For just $5 a month, you'll get an extended version of every Wednesday episode of the Ramble, which features 20 minutes of Ramble Uncut! Think spicy takes you won't get on the main show, correspondence from other Patreon subscribers, behind-the-scenes news and regular Pitbull updates. There...

What a time to be alive, it’s the Carabao Cup second round! Like all of last night’s fixtures, Marcus, Jim and Luke start today’s show by continuing to pay tribute to the great Sven-Göran Eriksson. Elsewhere, Luke and Jim explain why Manuel Ugarte could be a great signing, not just for Man United but also the Ramble. Plus, a local council leader in Wolverhampton has responded to Noni Madueke and w...

We kick off today’s raving Ramble with the most important question to emerge from the opening rounds of the Premier League: is Lars Sivertsen’s Dad a better golfer than Kim Jong Un? We do find time to round up the rest of the weekend’s action, as the league’s newcomers are already struggling and Man City continue to meet their scarcely believable standards. Plus, Marcus delivers his verdict on Oas...