Football Ramble

Man United were so close to forgetting to print their Southampton voucher before Amad Diallo saved the day. It's a shame really… Although Vish doesn't think so. Today, he, Marcus, Jim and Andy share another update from Lazio’s fake phallus fondling falconer and Fizzer tries to motivate his team ahead of the new MLS season. Plus, Vish puts both belts on the line in Jack’s Encyclopaedia. Find us on&...

Luke and Andy jump on the mics after Arsenal made off with the three points in north London – partly thanks to Spurs’ makeshift defence behaving very makeshift-y again and partly thanks to Gabriel’s magnetic bonce. We wonder whether Arsenal’s Brazilian centre half is the best player in the league in both boxes and ask whether Mikel Arteta’s men are still convincing us at all. Poor old Kai Hav...

Nottingham Forest are the most organised team in the league according to Luke Moore. Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim are full of praise - and thanks - for the Tricky Trees after they kept the title race just about alive against Liverpool last night. Elsewhere, Andy shares his wish for Pep Guardiola to end the suffering and leave Man City. Plus, what do the Lazio eagle handler and Pelé have in co...

The Premier League is back and so are two of the Kingdom's finest. David Moyes and Graham Potter return to the Barclays to manage the Evertons and the West Hams of this league, but what can we expect from their returns? Elsewhere, Marcus, Luke and Vish give us a fresh Wayne Rooney update after he announced his £8k-a-shot 'Train with Wayne' sessions in Dubai. Please David, surely he can at least ma...

Tottenham are in the hat for the FA Cup fourth round! But don’t think Marcus, Luke and Vish let them off scot-free after they were taken to extra-time by Tom Tonks & co at Tamworth. Elsewhere, as predicted, there were a couple of third round "murders" for us to sniff out alongside a hint of nostalgia about Arsenal’s penalty defeat to Man United. Plus, we wonder how Rhodri reacted to Man City b...

It's FA Cup weekend, ladies and gents. Unfortunately though, if non-league Tamworth get a draw against Spurs, they won't be getting a replay at Tottenham. Obviously that's a crying shame, but what should the teams at the top of English football do to compensate those at the bottom? Marcus, Luke, and Andy also ask whether José Mourinho would make a good firefighter manager and respond to your sugge...

The Football Ramble would like to publicly state that it does not support Darren Ferguson’s decision to leave Ashley Young’s son on the bench. Remember where you came from, Darren. Elsewhere, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete dissect Everton’s decision to sack Sean Dyche three hours before kick-off. Plus, Luke is on a mission to uncover which fixture will provide a cupset this weekend. You better watch...

Can anything compete with the Carabao? We just had our first-ever referee announcement in English football and Pete Donaldson is absolutely loving it. However, he is of course quick to offer some constructive criticism to the referee on his mic technique. Elsewhere, Pete and Andy are optimistic about West Ham’s future now that Graham Potter is in the hot seat. The bubbles will help of course. Find...

Newcastle have got one foot in the Carabao Cup Final which means Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete are already planning how to sneak Donny into Wembley for the final. Anyone got any suggestions? Elsewhere, the Hammers are getting ready to whack their manager and Pete gives us an update on the 80s TV presenter Timmy Mallet. Strangely, these two things are not related… Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,&...

Marcus and Vish discuss Nottingham Forest’s latest victory to make it SIX wins in a row! And this was a proper profesh one. They discuss why Morgan Gibbs-White giving some back to the booing Wolves fans is everything you want to see, the *very* nomadic Supercoppa Italiana, and the even more nomadic Thomas Tuchel. On this very episode, we also exclusively reveal his first hire: Pete Donaldson as as...

Vish joins Marcus, Luke and Jim to celebrate Man United actually trying and playing midfielders who could run to earn a 2-2 draw with Liverpool. Phwoar! We also take on The Trent Alexander-Arnold Situation and what happens next, while there’s special concern for Anthony Gordon after his UNESCO World Heritage conk gets another bash.  Plus, Ivan Jurić brings less death metal than deathly silenc...

After Wayne Rooney’s dismissal this week, it means yet another of Sir Alex Ferguson’s greatest proteges has found the managerial hot seat far too hot. A listener asks Marcus, Luke and Vish why this keeps happening. Plus, why have there suddenly been so many disruptors to the so-called ‘top six’ in recent years? What’s the point of pre-match press conferences? And for some reason, we imagine what A...

Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod! Which means one thing… A unification bout against Luke in Jack’s Encyclopaedia. Marcus is here to oversee the match and to also point out that Vish has returned just in time for Man United’s trip to Anfield. Plus, we speculate what it would be like if José Mourinho became the new Scotland manager. Arise McSpecial One. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,&nbs...

Happy new year Ramblers! See ya later, 2024. Let's be having you 2025. New year, same old Ramble, but should football stay the same? Well, given its current state, perhaps a few changes could bring a bit of normality back to the game (or in Pete's case, even more beautiful chaos). Join Marcus, Pete & Andy as they propose the changes they'd like to see in football in 2025, plus we hear the best...

Marcus and Jim pick through the crumbling wreckage after Manchester United 0-2 Newcastle United, in a game that threatened to descend into one of the most embarrassing affairs Old Trafford might have ever seen.  We wonder what Ruben Amorim is playing at and decide Alexander Isak is the best footballer in the universe. Plus, the Tractor Boys pick up their first home win of the season, Aston Vi...

Sure, Liverpool are charging ahead, but we have to start with the biggest question to emerge from another cracking festive football weekend: are Nottingham Forest in a title race?! How about them Tricky Trees!  Join Marcus, Luke and Jim on the final show of the Christmas perineum as Spurs generate more shoulder shrugs, Mo Salah continues his era-defining form and the Jim Ratcliffe villain arc...

We've seen Pep Guardiola and Ange Postecoglou both talk about the extreme pressures of being an elite-level football manager recently. Do us impatient football fans make their jobs harder? Plus, are 'goal shows' which actually show the goals the way to solve the 3pm black-out? And what have been our favourite football moments of 2024? Join Pete, Andy & Luke as they answer your questions. Find...

When does excessive gurning become unsportsmanlike conduct? Is there a worse person to see on Boxing Day than Jason Tindall? And which budget horror movie director does Antony remind us of most? Pete, Andy and Luke tackle the big questions after a big ol’ day of Boxing Day football. Plus, the Intercontinental belt is on the line! Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok...

Pete’s back with a sack full of clips highlighting some of the most significant Ramble moments from the second half of 2024. Including, Big Mama UEFA, Noni Madueke’s infamous trip to Wolverhampton, Haystacks Peace’s pesky prattling parrot and David Coote’s afterparty tape. We also said goodbye to the great man, Sven-Göran Eriksson. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTo...

Anybody fancy a Christmas game? Bloody Nora that's right, it's a big Jack's Encyclopaedia bonanza coming your way for Christmas Day! Join Marcus, Luke, Jim, and Pete for a six-round special of the game that Jack Grealish simply cannot wrap his head around. Put down that gravy boat, switch off Mrs Brown's Boys, and get your ears plugged into 25 minutes of unfiltered Christmas chaos. Happy holidays...

Featuring Dean Gaffney, a naked Jürgen Klopp, Jack’s Encyclopaedia celebrations, a naughty Dutch referee’s celebrations, Sean Connery, and what Mark Lawrenson really thinks about… Mossad. Come join your master of ceremonies, Pete Donaldson, for the Football Ramble’s Best of 2024: Part 1!  Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouTube , and email u...

After a week of sweet juicy Carabao, the Barclays has returned to prove why it's still the boss. Today, Jim tells Pete and Andy why Spurs shouldn’t panic just yet. Spurs fans, we’ll let you decide if you want to take that advice from an Arsenal fan… Elsewhere, a Tranmere Rovers defender loses his shorts and Pete has his say on why the Arsenal players’ partners are all getting pregnant. Find us on&...

Marcus Rashford has been all over the headlines this week – but does his deteriorating relationship with Man United tell us anything about the ‘one-club man’? Pete, Luke and Jim drill down into one of football’s most hailed archetypes – and then Pete promptly torches the entire show with his answer to our second question. Just like the owner of a nightclub in Hartlepool, I suppose. Plus, we prepar...

Man United and Tottenham handed out an early Christmas present of delicious Carabao last night. A special mention goes to Fraser Forster for doing his best Pete Donaldson impression… Pete’s joined by Luke and Jim to learn Jamie Vardy’s latest technique in sh*thousery. Plus, the Intercontinental belt is on the line in Jack’s Encyclopaedia! Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,&nbsp...

It was Gabriel Jesus' turn to deliver three gifts as his hat-trick helped Arsenal reach the Carabao Cup semi-final. Pete and Luke are here to discuss the evening's Carabao action. Plus, we hear about Keir Starmer's 5-a-side exploits and plucky little Real Madrid win the Intercontinental Cup in Qatar. Of course Richard Keys was involved... Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,&nbsp...