Football Ramble

After the simply marvellous scenes at Goodison Park this week, some fun sponges had the audacity to say that the Everton players and fans went 'too far' with their celebrations. Now, it's not the first time we've heard that in recent times. Myles Lewis-Skelly ruffled a few feathers after copying Erling Haaland's celebration, and Paul Scholes called Neal Maupay an "idiot" for copying James Maddison...

On this lovely Valentine's Day, it’s important to focus all your love and attention on that Special One. So, with no English teams in European action last night, we kick off with more ridiculous antics from football’s favourite loverboy, José Mourinho. Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim then look ahead to a mid-table Mourinho Derby as Spurs’ perfectly stoppable force meet Man United’s eminently movable ob...

Don't pretend you don't want to see it. Everton vs Liverpool ended in complete carnage and Marcus and Jim loved every single second. Still giddy from all the excitement, we credit the Everton fans for celebrating with the appropriate level of vigour, while also being thankful that VAR didn’t ruin it all. And despite all that, we still find time to credit Liverpool who now look unstoppable in the P...

It’s happened again. Man City have blown a lead and Jude Bellingham scored a late winner. Who would have thought? Elsewhere, Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy are impressed by Jason Tindall who has reached new levels of sh*thousery. Plus, Lazio's former falconer Juan Bernabé and his eagle are back! We’re going on tour! Get your tickets now:  https://footballramblelive.com Find us on  Blues...

The only thing to take from Crystal Palace’s Professional Job 2-0 Plucky Doncaster Rovers: scrap the entire football pyramid. Rubbish, don’t need it. In all seriousness, Marcus and Vish tip their hats to a valiant effort from Doncaster and realise that Palace are properly decent under Oliver Glasner. Plus, we peruse the fifth round matchups and Man City size up a scrap with the baddest boys in the...

Worried about the magic spilling out of the FA Cup? Well, Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete - with a little help from Plymouth Argyle - are here to refill the Cup with the recommended level of magic. Elsewhere, we thank Stefan Ortega for ensuring Jamie Donley achieved one of the great FA Cup assists and we try to talk about quite literally anything other than Man United vs Leicester. We’re going on tour...

After Mario Lemina's banishment to Turkey, plus Marcus Rashford and Jadon Sancho being shipped away from Manchester United, are we seeing managers regaining decision-making power over the futures of their players? And with Neymar making his return to Santos, Marcus, Vish, and Andy ask: Is it fair to say that he's underachieved in his career? We’re going on tour! Get your tickets now:  https:/...

Is it insane to compare Mo Salah to Prime Messi? Andy explains to Marcus, Jim and Vish why he thinks you can draw parallels between the two. Elsewhere, the FA Cup fourth round is here! Is it equally mad to say that the Championship’s Burnley are favourites against Southampton? Plus, the Premier League discuss employing an actual celebration police... We’re going on tour!&n...

Join Newcastle’s celebrated midfield duo - Pete Donaldson and Andy Brassell - as they lead the Geordie parade to their second Carabao Cup final in three seasons after mugging off Arsenal once again! We marvel at some Alexander Isak brilliance and give Jacob Murphy the props he deserves. Plus, why were Arsenal so rattled? Why do they always struggle against Newcastle? And will Pete n...

Pete’s got an idea for a new digital currency. He tells Marcus and Luke why we should all be interested by the prospect. Elsewhere, Luke fondly reminisces about transfer deadline days gone by and Marcus tells us about a player who was sent off for pissing. Plus, we get ready for a week of juicy Carabao goodness! We’re going on tour! Get your tickets now:  https://footballramblelive.com C...

Chelsea came back from 1-0 down to earn only their second league win in almost two months. Marcus and Vish accuse Enzo Maresca’s men of protesting against the suggestion that they were in a title race. Elsewhere, we wonder whether Evan Ferguson is the player to break West Ham’s striker curse. Plus, João Félix adds another beautiful shirt to his already marvellous collection. We’re going on tour!&n...

What do Declan Rice and Ed Sheeran have in common? Luke is here to tell Marcus, Jim and Pete just that after Arsenal thwacked Man City at the Emirates. Elsewhere, Pete ponders whether it’s time to officially declare Chris Wood a Master Craftsman now that he has completed his 10,000 hours. Plus, David Moyes keeps shoving a load of egg in Sean Dyche’s face. You just can’t keep a good Ferryman down....

"It's who we are, mate." Sure, but can you not do anything else? From Ange Postecoglou to Vincent Kompany, and even our good friend Russell Martin, managers seem to be stuck in a single mindset when it comes to playing the game. But if it fails once, then twice, and a few more times after that, why don’t they change their approach? Marcus, Jim & Vish sink their teeth into that. Plus, which Pre...

Kobbie Mainoo is having a lovely time playing further forward for Man United. But of course, Marcus must ask Andy, Vish and Jim: What does that mean for his England prospects? Elsewhere, Jim is uncertain about Arsenal's attempts to buy Ollie Watkins. We also try to work out what food the Fulham fans will be eating on the way to Newcastle this weekend. Anyone for lobster? We’re going on tour! ...

Pete, Luke and Andy have a supersized hangover after last night’s Champions League Royal Rumble. So let’s get through as many games as we can remember! And no Andy, we’re not talking about Crvena zvezda, you perv. Aston Villa barged past Celtic courtesy of John McGinn’s bum and an epic Morgan Rogers hat-trick, while Man City narrowly avoided an embarrassing exit. Plus, Arsenal and Liverpool turned...

Tonight you’re faced with a big decision, do you watch the Champions League or the German edition of I’m a Celebrity? Well, panic not. Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to tell you how you can watch both at the same time! The lads also get excited for tonight’s Champions League bonanza by trying to work out whether Agent De Bruyne will sabotage Man City this evening. Plus, Neymar could be returning t...

After a flurry of games over the festive and winter periods, it's time to take a step back and ponder on what has been and what's to come in the Premier League this season. Marcus, Luke & Jim reflect on the fall of the Goliaths and the rise of the Davids that we've seen play out this season. Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Instagram ,  TikTok  and  YouTube , and email...

Tottenham are eight points off the relegation zone. Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete wonder whether Spurs should be glancing or staring over their shoulder. Elsewhere, Jim picks a fight with both PGMOL and Gary Neville. Plus, Antoine Semenyo, Yoane Wissa and Romain Esse compete for the ‘Celebration of the Weekend’ award. We’re going on tour! Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for just $5 per month t...

There comes a point in every manager’s journey where the fans stop and say: “Have you taken us as far as you can?” It’s been over five years since Mikel Arteta was appointed Arsenal manager and in that time they’ve won just one FA Cup (plus a couple of Community Shields, for whoever counts those). Marcus, Luke & Jim discuss whether it’s got to the point where Arteta needs to bring a trophy bac...

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete are here to welcome in the weekend after Man United’s peculiar European adventures continued with a weird win over Rangers. Admittedly we do focus more on United's latest mix of baffling calamities, from smashed TVs and breaching PSR regulations to a “full on mutiny” in the squad. Oof. There’s also plenty of Barclays to look ahead to, as Cole Palmer looks to boot Man Cit...

Think Man City are bottom of the Champions League yet? Nooope, there’s always more table. However, they’re not bloody far off after a dramatic collapse against PSG. Pete and Luke react to an extraordinary second half at the Parc des Princes, which left us rubbing our thighs in excitement and unfortunately ripping up all the chat about the Corn Laws that we had planned. So before you put Mikel Arte...

Marcus, Luke and Jim have plenty of midweek mulch to wade through as this weird Champions League gameshow rolls on with Liverpool still top of the pile. Do they get a trophy? In diplomatic matters elsewhere, Jonjo Shelvey makes a triumphant return to English football and Gianni Infantino makes a triumphant return to his usual buffoonery. Plus, Benfica and Barcelona play out one of the craziest gam...

Marcus and Vish check in after Chelsea finally get a decent league win, with Trevoh Chalobah’s classy return to the Bridge proving very timely - even if Noni Madueke nicked his goal from inside a yard out. Poor, that. They wonder if this represents a return to form for the Blues or if there’s still a bit of the basket case about them. Plus, Wolves’ insistence on just doing the fun stuff could prov...

Everton looked completely resurrected under David Moyes. Is he really the Moyesiah or are Tottenham just very naughty boys? Elsewhere, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete believe that Bournemouth could have put in the best Premier League performance of the season to dispatch Newcastle. Plus, Marcus’ Emi Martinez moment is now going global. You love to see it! Find us on  Bluesky ,  X ,  Inst...

Hasn't it been lovely to see David Moyes back in the dugout at Goodison Park? But is it actually a good idea for a club to re-appoint a manager from years gone by? Once Marcus, Jim and Andy have pondered on that, they ask whether TV companies are focussing too much on clipable content. Plus, in the next edition of Richard Keys' Bond films, who's going to be the Bond villain? Find us on  Blues...