Flying Free

Last week we explored the Myers-Briggs personality typology, and today we have a special guest, Stacey Wynn, talking with us about another personality typology: the Enneagram. Not only will the Enneagram inform you about who you are as a person and what motivates you, but it will also help point you toward where you can grow and develop. No matter what you’ve heard about the Enneagram in the past,...

Who are you, really? And how do the different parts of you work together to create the whole you? What makes you tick? What makes you un -tick? (That’s not a word, but you know what I mean, right?) Our resident Myers-Briggs expert, Rebecca Ferris, is here to talk about how understanding your personality can help you unhook from abuse. This episode is jam-packed full of golden nuggets about what ea...

Have you ever been sitting in a women’s Bible study when all of a sudden the Bible study curriculum asks a leading question, taking the verses you just read completely out of context, and now you feel confused and upset but like you need to nod your head “yes” to the rubbish you just heard? Or have you ever wanted to leave your abusive marriage, but you find yourself continuously coming back to yo...

Covert abuse sneaks up on you. You may not recognize certain behaviors in your spouse as being abusive for days, weeks, months, or years, and even then, they can be hard to identify. That’s what makes covert abuse so incredibly painful, confusing, and hard to see, especially from the outside.  Is your husband emotionally abusive, or does he just not know what it takes to be a good husband in a mar...

You deserve better. Your daughters deserve better. The women around you deserve better. She deserves better . This is a sentiment Sheila Wray Gregoire strongly believes in, and she is here today not only to introduce you to her new book, She Deserves Better , but to tell you exactly why you deserve better and how you can heal from the lies you grew up believing about purity culture, sex, modesty,...

Does your cluttered house ever make you feel crazy? And does it help to have a cluttered home on top of your cluttered brain from dealing with emotional abuse from your spouse all day? Probably not. Cue Dawn Madsen, The Minimal Mom. She is a declutterer extraordinaire, and if you want to learn a tip or two about how to keep your home tidy (and keep your brain tidy), you won’t want to miss listenin...

It’s about time we talked about purity culture, and I’ve brought in an expert, Dr. Camden, to help us do it. Purity culture has harmed many people in many different ways, and we need to discuss what the effects of purity culture are on Christians and how we can heal from the negative impact that it has had. Let’s break down the three main ways that purity culture has impacted people (faith, sexual...

Note: This episode is a repost of Episode 84 . It was too good not to share again with some of our newer listeners who weren’t around way back then! Please enjoy this interview with Wendy Hernandez. What if I lose my kids? How can I stand up for myself in the process of divorce when my husband seems to hold all the cards? How will I keep it together as I climb this ladder out of hell? These questi...

Have you ever considered getting a divorce, but the process is so foreign to you that you feel like shutting down when the thought crosses your mind? It can feel big, unfamiliar, and overwhelming. I want to help break it down for you in eight steps so you’ll have an overview of what it’s like and how to prepare.  Let’s talk about picking an attorney, what the paperwork might look like, how your so...

Rhonda is here to give you all the advice on all things having to do with finances plus divorce. Money and divorce can be a tricky, scary topic, but our expert today wants to provide you with tips, tricks, and guidance on how to make the divorce process that much easier. You’ll learn about how to build credit, how to create a support team of people around you, how to be your own private investigat...

Does the Bible tell women that they need to stay with their abusive husband in the hope that her good behavior and great example will convert him? And how in the world are you supposed to respond to church leadership when they tell you that you need to submit to them?  Let’s look to the Bible for answers to these tough questions (that I bet have crossed your mind once or twice!) and find out what...

Have you experienced being discarded by your husband, either emotionally or physically? Yvette Stone has experienced both. Being discarded is a pain that cuts so deep, even the strongest person is not immune to it.  Yvette is here to tell us about her life story, from marrying her narcissistic abuser at nineteen to thriving as a trauma-informed psychotherapist who now helps other women just like h...

Marriage intensives: What are they? Do they work? Are they worth the money? Can a marriage intensive change an abuser? I get these questions often, and I asked the same questions myself. In fact, I believed in marriage intensives so fully that I spent $7,500 just for a man to take pictures of my angry face and talk about his own practice and family for one-third of the time. (Need context? Me too,...

Annette Oltmans is here to help us better understand reactive abuse and reabuse. After having personal experience with an emotionally abusive husband and reabuse from her church and therapists, she is on a mission to help other women in similar situations. Let’s dive into the messiness surrounding reactive abuse, what we can do to protect ourselves from reabuse, and how we can heal.  Key Points Fr...

Are we unconditionally loved by God or not? How you answer that question will play a role in how you live your life.  Key Points From This Episode: Why Natalie relates to our listener’s anxiety over this topic. Why Natalie thought her own mother’s treatment of her was how God must treat her, too. Spoiler alert: This was not a fair comparison. How spiritualizing everything can be detrimental to you...

What does showing up for your children mean once they are adults? It is selfish to “let them go,” make mistakes, and struggle as they make their own way in the world? Also, why in the world would an abuser file for divorce from his victim? Isn’t it usually the other way around? Natalie is back answering listener questions, and her insights will encourage and support you. Key Points From This Episo...

Have you ever wondered what divorce would be like from the perspective of a teenager? The members in my private program, Flying Free, asked my daughter, Aimee, a ton of questions about her experience with divorce as a teenage girl. We’re here today to answer all of them: the awkward, the hilarious, and the intense. Aimee was fourteen-years-old when my ex and I separated and seventeen-years-old whe...

It’s not often that we get a listener question from a man, and less often that we actually answer it. But today’s question of, “Should I continue to hold out hope for my marriage after abusing my wife? Should I fight for my wife? And what, in your opinion, does that look like?” struck me as being a question that we could all benefit from, so I’m going to give you my honest answer and hopefully hel...

Learn about one of the fastest growing and most effective healing modalities in the therapy world right now—and how it can change YOUR life! Internal Family Systems (IFS for short) may change the way you think about yourself, God, others, and your whole life (in a good way!)  Professional therapist Jenna Riemersma and I talk about IFS, how it ties into our faith, where we can find IFS in the Bible...

There’s a lot of confusion surrounding the term “codependency.” Is codependency bad? Am I codependent? How do I know? And what can I do differently if I want to break some of my codependent habits?  In this episode, I break down eighteen different codependent thoughts and beliefs that many Christian women are taught. I also explore nine codependent “rules” that abusers and abusive religious commun...

Have you ever wondered what Genesis 3:16 really means? Or perhaps your abuser is accusing you of forcing him into a transactional relationship simply because you’ve set down some boundaries he doesn’t like? How do we deal with these tough questions? In this episode, Natalie answers these questions by getting into the nitty gritty of Genesis 3:16, why we can trust ourselves, how not to get hooked i...

Modern Christianity tends to champion Bible worship over Christ worship, and in this episode, we are joined by Keith Giles to discuss the implications of essentially replacing Christ with the Bible. Keith is a former pastor who “left the pulpit to follow Jesus.” He is the author of notable books such as Sola Mysterium , Jesus Unbound , and Jesus Undefeated , the podcast host of  Heretic Happy Hour...

Are you ready to deal with the things you’ve been avoiding and find out how to get unstuck? Joining us today on Flying Free is the incredible speaker, therapist, and author of The Science of Stuck , Britt Frank. Through Britt’s abusive relationship, substance abuse, and spiritual challenges she has learned that mental health is a commitment to reality. In this episode, we discuss why Britt wrote h...

The holiday season can be a very emotional time. While it’s festive and fun for many people, this time of the year isn’t necessarily a happy or carefree period for everyone. Last week, we answered some questions posed by our Flying Free community about how to get through the holidays when life feels like it’s falling apart. In fact, we received so many questions from the women in our program that...

The holiday season can be bittersweet, imbued with magic and pain in equal parts. For many people, it can be a very emotional time, with all the Christmassy sounds and smells unearthing memories from the depths of their childhoods. It’s important to be kind to ourselves during this time, and in this episode, we’re tackling some of the questions posed by our Flying Free community in order to equip...