Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry

On Flusterclux, we love focusing on prevention. What are the big picture “moves” we can incorporate into our families now that lessen risk for struggles later on? In this episode, we talk about the role of ritual and tradition in families, with an important emphasis on the everyday routines that bolster connection. Family dinners? Reading together before bed? Weekend errands and worship services?...

We received a listener question about handling a child’s extreme discomfort with her parents’ “alone time.” Robin thinks this a unique issue. Nope! says Lynn. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For those brand new to the podcast, we suggest starting with this playlist featuring Lynn Lyons and th...

What do a 3 year old and a 13 year old have in common? A temperament that makes it tricky for parents to help navigate how and when to “step in.” And is this type of temperament a problem? Not necessarily when connection is the goal.  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For those brand new to the...

Phones, phones, phones! Everybody’s talking about them (including us!) In this episode, we share a hopeful report on school phone policies, and then help out a mom who has discovered some disturbing group chat conversations on her middle schooler’s phone.  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For...

We often think of summer as fun time (understandably) and the start of school as back to work. But can’t we take some of that joy into the fall? What small but impactful things can you do as a family to cultivate joy even as routines and demands shift?  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For tho...

In this episode, we’re talking toddlers. Based on a listener request, Lynn describes how to start early teaching flexibility, emotional management, and connection. We address how technology impacts them…and what parents of little ones need to pay attention to with their own patterns.  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of...

Schools have figured out that smart phones are a distraction to learning…again. After several years of virtually no enforcement, bell-to-bell policies are being introduced. And although adults will agree in principle, how will parents actually respond?  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For tho...

“He is so moody!” says almost every parent as their child moves through the tween and teen years. Managing one’s moods is a key skill for young people to learn, and (as usual) modeling matters. How do we help our kids navigate their emotional ups and downs, with better modeling, less pathologizing and a good dose of reasonable expectations? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RES...

When we reunite with our kids at the end of the day, we’re often full of questions and curiosity. How was your day? Did you like your lunch? How’d that geometry test go? But genuine interest can sometimes turn into unsatisfying inquisitions. And if we add anxiety’s need for certainty, reassurance and LOTS of detail, the interaction goes south quickly. How can you get information, bolster connectio...

Helping an anxious student requires a strong collaboration between families and schools, but so often meetings to create a plan become adversarial. In this episode, Lynn (who routinely attends such meetings) offers her key tips for how parents and schools can work together to support a child and teach the needed skills, minus the conflict and blaming. We also answer a question from a shy mom enter...

Don’t we all want to raise problem-solvers? Today we are recasting one of our most popular episodes in which we break down specific steps that parents can put into practice.  We must give our kids the practice of creating solutions and not fixing things for them. This episode also wraps up the third of a previously-released three-part series on the principal skills that children need for a strong...

A kid with a flexible brain becomes a person who can go with the flow when life doesn’t unfold as planned. Handling the unexpected is a critical skill in most scenarios. Rigidity just makes life harder. What does it mean to be cognitively flexible and how can you help your child get there? WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parent...

In Season 4, we offered a three-episode series in which we unpacked Lynn's big triad: Autonomy, Flexibility, and Problem Solving. These essential skills help prevent mental health issues from developing, and, of course, Lynn will tell you how to nurture them in your children. We tackle autonomy in this episode and the important question every parent should ask: "How controlling am I with my kids?"...

In this recast of a Season 5 episode, we answer listener questions from three different families with five-year olds about handling big emotions and fears. Rigidity, disappointment, tantrums, new schools…issues that most parents of all kids will encounter! And, we have a conversation on those red flags that might lead you to consider a new therapist. WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YO...

When children are hesitant or afraid of something, they often avoid, refuse, or even explode. The good news? You can work with your child on your own using the principles of exposure therapy, role playing and front loading. Here’s your DIY plan for stepping in and developing more resilience.  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Par...

This episode tackles a relatable and critical question from a listener: what do I do about my own anxiety as my child goes from kid to tween to teen? The key is learning the difference between normal adolescent development and your parental anxiety’s desire to take charge.  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kid...

Our guest on this episode is Lynn’s amazing colleague, Mindy Szelap, a therapist who is known affectionately as the Poop Lady. Because anxiety has connections to all sorts of stomach problems, including constipation and pain, Mindy offers information and tips for dealing with worried tummies.  Find Mindy here: bayareaspacetreatment.com WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCE...

Do your kids lie? The answer is likely yes. And we adults do, too, because honesty is not always the best policy. In this episode, we talk about lying, what’s normal developmentally, and how to help your kids better understand the nuances.  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For those brand new...

In this recast of a popular episode from last year, sit in on Lynn's consultation with Mom, Dad and their high school junior who would prefer just staying in his room for most of the summer. Lynn helps identify the skill most teens need to strengthen — the skill of doing something you don't really want to do (and how it applies to getting a first job, applying to college, or completing schoolwork)...

Parents often focus on the details of a child’s anxiety or frustration or distress. The parental interrogation fueled by “I have to know what happened and they should be able to tell me” is a common sentiment. Do you fall prey to needing to know the details? Our desire to know is less important than supporting our children’s ability to manage their emotions and learn problem solving. Can you help...

It’s graduation time. Robin is smack in the middle of this emotional time and Lynn has navigated it twice. So they’re both crying.  ...and here's the Katrina Kenison piece that Lynn mentions: https://www.katrinakenison.com/2020/03/16/the-gift-of-an-ordinary-day/ WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Her...

Have you been hearing a lot about boundaries lately? And “toxic relationships"? Buzzwords capture our—and our children’s—attention, but what do memes and quotes on social media actually teach us about managing friendships and repairing ruptures? In this episode we talk about the skills of repair, the importance of connection, and valuing relationships amidst the pull of a throw-away culture. WE'VE...

Sometimes kids have big reactions over seemingly small things. Or they panic over something that hasn’t really bothered them in the past. Is this a “new” problem, or a different piece content that worry has discovered?  WE'VE MADE PLAYLISTS OF OUR EPISODES TO HELP YOU FIND RESOURCES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS. Here is our first: Parents of Anxious Kids, Start Here For those brand new to the podcast, we su...

Pediatricians and family physicians are on the front lines of our children’s mental health needs. In fact, they are reporting more and more that it’s the most common (and often most challenging) issue they are addressing with families. On this episode, Lynn and Robin are joined by Dr. Jessica Hochman, whose practice and podcast (Ask Dr. Jessica) focus on helping families feel more confident and in...

In this recast of a popular Season 5 episode, we continue our discussion on loneliness, this time focusing on adults. Making friends in adulthood feels risky. If you are at all anxious or introverted, vulnerability and rejection hardly seem worth it. But connection is possible once we dispel some limiting beliefs.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU: Get 20% off your first order wh...