FINE is a 4-Letter Word

When you go out to find yourself, the journey can take you places you didn’t imagine you’d ever go. Maybe it will take you to a different town, or even a different country. But once you get there, it’s possible you’ll discover you really need to go somewhere else. Kind of like in the book The Alchemist. Matthew Brackett felt the calling to go into seminary life from an early age, and it seemed to...

What is our cultural obsession with busyness? How many businesspeople do you know who wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor? Kris Ward was raised with values she eventually learned she had to overcome – the values of moving fast, getting a lot of stuff done, and working hard. Hard work equals success. But is any of this true? Kris grew up, got married, and started a business. She was determine...

Many of our listeners have been asking for an update on my life as a nomad. For those of you who don't know, in October 2023 I gave up my apartment, put most of my belongings into a 5x10 storage unit in North Virginia, and since then have been traveling the country housesitting cats (and some dogs too) through a program called Trusted House Sitters. Over the past six months, I've visited places li...

Leaving things better than you found them and being honest and open are good traits to have and will likely serve you well. The former makes the world, or your little part of it, better because you were part of it, while the latter both shows respect and earns you respect. Stephanie O’Brien was raised with these values. Although her life took an interesting path, they became her true north and ste...

This week’s guest, Zack Lemear, is a marketing and branding strategist who, on the surface, looks and sounds pretty much like any entrepreneur consultant. It makes sense he’s successful helping businesses with marketing and branding since his ticket in the birth lottery won him a blank slate to create and brand himself. Here on Fine is a 4-Letter Word , you may know my first question of every gues...

Have you considered how much of what you do - even the things that seem to bring you joy - began as coping mechanisms to deal with trauma? Even your talents and your brilliance might be subconscious, or even conscious, reactions to traumatic experiences from your past. Gregory Halpen came from a family background of violence, addiction, and abuse. Yet one of the main core values he felt he was rai...

As human beings, we are both programmed and pressured to say everything is “fine”. Someone asks, “how are you?” and you’re supposed to reply “fine, how are you?” Have you noticed that a benign, well-meaning core value many of us are raised with could be reinforcing this and blocking us from improving ourselves? Ely Delaney, whom I met through Success Champions and recently reconnected with when he...

Do you remember a time when the phone would ring and you had to answer to find out who was calling? How about when you saw that stack of presents with your name on them for Christmas or your birthday – did you have a sixth sense that told you which one was the present you really wanted? Tracy St. Croi was one of those kids back in the 1980s who just knew. Tracy revolted against all the "so-called"...

Are you someone who uses self-deprecation to get laughs? Steve Gamlin was too until a pivotal moment when his friend Kris figuratively put on a pair of steel toe boots and kicked his ass and woke him up to the dangerous effects of doing that. Steve was raised to believe in the value of hard work. When Steve was 7, his dad bought their house and started remodeling it, one room at a time. All the Ga...

Have you ever seen those memes that compare the co-stars of “The Firm”, Wilford Brimley looking elderly at age 56 and Tom Cruise looking young at age 56? These memes show us that these days, people are aging much more gracefully, or at least not according to the same timetable they used to. Did the timetable ever make sense to begin with? Is there supposed to be a specific age where we begin to qu...

When your life story is dominated by trauma resulting from one fucked-up thing after another, it plays a nasty trick on your definition of what’s “fine”. After surviving being killed almost three times before she was two years old, Sonia Graham was adopted into a strict Puerto Rican / Irish Catholic family. Her father was in the Air Force, so while she developed resilience to deal with ever-changi...

Does it seem like everyone else is doing great while you’re struggling? And because it seems like you’re the only one who can’t manage and everyone else has their shit together, you’re either afraid or unwilling to talk about it? But what if you then got to have deep, meaningful conversations with other people and discovered they’re going through the same struggles as you? Marc Zalmanoff was raise...

What if it’s never been “fine”? What if it feels like every good thing comes with downfalls and you’re racing to keep up? Adam Hommey was raised with the values of pursuing academic excellence and being selfless to the point where it became a detriment. At the same time he was expected to achieve, he felt denied the opportunity to enjoy his success. It all started in his early childhood. He was al...

Many of us go through life wondering if we’re really living our authentic lives. Are you doing what you really want to do? Are you being who you really want to be? Even if you’ve created a great life, been fortunate, and haven’t had what you consider an existential crisis, is something just not quite right? Jen Berlingo had what seemed to be a great childhood. As she would discover later, she thou...

Ever go through a part of your life thinking everything is fine, but then experience that moment when your whole world turns upside down? It could be a debilitating health issue. Or maybe finding out just when you achieved what you thought were your dreams, that it wasn’t what you really wanted after all. Or it comes with baggage that you didn't bargain for. But what if things never were “fine” to...

In this end-of-year solo episode, I’m talking about change, control, and courage. How do you identify the need for change? What are the signs of dissatisfaction, lack of motivation, and other indicators that signal a need for change in various aspects of your life? I’m inviting you to reflect on where in your own life you may be hesitant to make necessary changes. We’re talking about understanding...

Sometimes things seem to fall apart just when you think all is going well, and sometimes it seems to happen over and over where it feels like you can never catch a break. But what if those moments where things are no longer "fine" turn out to be springboards that move you to the next step? Growing up, Yvonne Marchese was raised with a strong work ethic. Her father sold suits; her mother worked, ev...

Imagine, for a moment, being a child and knowing something was wrong, but being too young to understand. Now picture yourself in a cult without knowing the word for it. That’s what happened to Sally Lotz. Until she was four years old, things seemed normal. Then her parents divorced, her dad left the picture as he served overseas in the military, and her mother took Sally and her siblings to a new...

A lot of us have a story about that time we hit rock bottom. For some of us, we find out there's yet another rock bottom when the floor bursts out from the one we're on. Then another. What happens when you're looking for the safety net, like someone in a freefall, and it doesn't appear? How does it feel when you have values but are physically incapable of living up to them - especially as an overa...

Many people believe they have a dream lifestyle – the perfect house, the perfect job or business, the perfect family and social cycle, just everything perfect. Some create checklists or vision boards so they can visualize it and align their thoughts and actions toward having it for themselves. But what if you think you’ve achieved it, but it turns out you’ve veered way off course? Tess Wittler was...

In this very special solo episode, I'm talking about gratitude. But let’s dig into it from a different perspective. We'll be starting with a seemingly random question - are you interested in getting high? Because that’s one of the neurological effects gratitude has on us - no sketchy dealer required. It involves a particular chemical in our brains that makes us feel more gratitude, sleep better, a...

First, shout-out to my previous guest, Aneta Kuzma, for connecting me with Alexandra Clayton and Michal Sinnott, who you’re about to hear from today. Personal wellness means different things to different people. When you get to know someone, you find out there’s a lot of unpacking to do. Alexandra and Michal met in a female filmmaking collaborative alliance, and little did they know the exciting j...

Many of the stories my guests share here on Fine is a 4-Letter Word involve dramatic downfalls, tumultuous transformations, and earth-turning evolutions. Even if you haven’t really had one of those, I’m willing to bet there’s something going on that’s not fine. Let’s put it to the test. Kyle Kroeger was raised in an entrepreneurial environment with four core values – work hard, do your job and be...

The human body is an amazing machine. It has resilience and capabilities most people don't understand. But what happens to the body when we sacrifice too much in service to others? Dr. David Gustitus was raised by parents who divorced when he was very young, but it didn't seem that bad because they were both on the same page about raising him and very involved in his upbringing. He was taught the...

I believe humans have an innate desire to do the right thing in all areas of their business and life. But what IS the right thing? And what if it feels wrong to other people when you do it? Dr. Natalie Marr was raised as the middle child of 5 in a culturally Catholic family where she learned two core values: standing up for the little guy and having a powerful work ethic. As a therapist, she ran i...