FINE is a 4-Letter Word

We’ve been conditioned to believe that rest is optional—like guacamole on your burrito. You can have it, but you’ll have to pay extra. Let’s zoom out for a second and look at where this belief came from. The hustle mindset didn’t just show up one day because Gary Vee started yelling about it. It’s deeply rooted in industrial-age values—when your productivity on the factory line was literally tied...

In his 2023 report "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation", the US Surgeon General at the time, Dr. Vivek Murthy, declared loneliness and social isolation a public health epidemic. Aside from feelings of ennui and lacking support structure, loneliness can trigger or increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and even premature death! So, while he doesn’t...

Perfectionism is something that gets beat into a lot of us. Sometimes literally , as you’ll find out from my guest. Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism. You see, when you’re programmed to hold yourself to extremely high standards, nothing you do seems like it’s good enough. You’re not enough. And what if someone finds out? Now imagine you got ripped off by not one – but two – bu...

Do you sometimes feel like you’re mailing it in? Sure, you’re achieving your goals, hitting your numbers, and getting boxes checked on your to-do list. On paper, you’re a success. But it still feels empty, like something’s missing and you’re not really succeeding. How do you know for sure? Who’s there to help you figure it out? And what example are you setting for those who see you as a role model...

Battered Woman Syndrome is a commonly misunderstood condition that results from domestic or intimate partner violence. Maybe you’ve known someone in such a situation. Or you’ve at least heard stories about it. And you’ve probably thought, Why do you stay there and take it? Why don’t you leave? There are support networks and shelters who can take you in, why not just go? And wondered, What drives y...

Does it sometimes feel like no good deed goes unpunished? What if I told you that no scandal, setback, or stumbling block goes unrewarded, if you’re willing to take the time to solve the puzzle? As a puzzle-solver programmed to challenge the status quo, ask questions, and lean into her natural curiosity, Kristy Busija (BYOO-SEE-YA) learned both of these lessons when she got fired for doing the rig...

Situations involving stalking can be a gray area. Does the person mean well but are just awkward in their approach? Are you reading too much into it? Let’s not jump to conclusions and end up smearing an innocent person. We should give the benefit of a doubt until we have our facts straight. All of these are very natural impulses, rooted in solid values that generally speaking serve us well. And th...

Tomorrow, February 14th, is Valentine’s Day. For some, it’s a joyous celebration of our connection with our spouse, companion, partner, and loved one. For others, it raises questions about why we need a holiday to mark something that’s central to our life and our True North. And there are those for whom it’s a source of grief or pain for various reasons – lack of a life partner, hurt over losing a...

Always finish what you start. Don’t give up a good thing; you’re good at it and make a lot of money at it. The voice in your head is always right. All this sounds like good advice, yes? But what if one day you found out you had been slowly dying of this advice? I mean, literally, your health was deteriorating and you were wasting away? Tabatha Jones had an intuition for years that something was wr...

In our society, we don’t know how to talk about a lot of super important things. We don’t learn, because we’re not taught. And that’s due to longstanding beliefs that we’re supposed to handle things a certain way. Think about what happens if your spouse or life partner dies. You’re expected to have a period of enforced mourning. You look weird at best, or heartless at worst, if you keep going to w...

Before we begin, let me alert you that the content of this episode includes conversation about mental health struggles and suicide, which can be distressing for some people. Don’t worry, we don’t go into too much detail, but if you are uncomfortable about that kind of thing, you may want to avoid this episode. Imagine it’s 3:00 AM, and your life is coming apart at the seams. You don’t know how you...

“Life is short” is one of those cliches that gets thrown around with the idea that you should let things roll off your shoulders or not spend time analyzing the past. The truth is, though, that life is longer than you realize because... A person lives on in the memories of those who knew them, are familiar with their stories, and share these stories so that other people may know them too. Frank Fa...

In the written description of my podcast, Fine Is a 4-Letter Word, I begin by asking: “Wasn’t it just a couple years ago you were sitting on the beach at spring break in Ft. Lauderdale – listening to the Pet Shop Boys, U2, and Def Leppard - with your entire life ahead of you? Now you’re looking back 30-plus years and wondering what the hell happened.” Basically, I’ve just described what used to be...

Remember that time you slammed your hand in the door? I heard you screaming obscenities for days. And depending on how it happened, it might have stung for a minute or caused you pain for a week. But imagine your hand didn’t heal. Instead, it revealed you were slowly being ambushed by a silent killer. Act One to a new story you never saw coming. This is Susan Jackson Lee’s story, and it ends on a...

2024 has been quite a year. I spent most of the year as a nomad, traveling throughout the Southeast United States moving from town to town, housesitting for a lot of awesome cats (and a few awesome dogs). It was an amazing adventure that led me to see lots of new places, meet people in real life I’d only known online, and discover a few things about myself along the journey. But as I moved around,...

Growing up in the United States, I was fortunate to not know what it’s like to go through a day with bombs falling around me and my dad fighting in the war. For Robin Ayoub, this was his daily reality, and as he would eventually discover, getting away from it was how he found his way home. Imagine being eleven years old and given 24 hours to learn how to operate a knitting machine because your fam...

You’ve probably experienced sleep paralysis at some point – that weird “twilight zone” where you’re caught between the conscious world and the world of dreams, aware of your surroundings but noticing they have weird shapes. Usually you can break out of sleep paralysis within a few seconds and after catching your breath, you’re fully aware you’re awake again and safe from whatever monster was tryin...

Can you feel the sense of dread just thinking about that time in your life when something went horribly wrong and everything you had planned was totally shot to hell? And what’s worse? The fear of criticism and rebuke from those you count on to be part of your support network or their well-intentioned comments that don’t do a damned thing to help and actually make you feel worse? Lilah Jones faced...

When I was a kid, I remember having Thanksgiving with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. As an adult, there have been years where my husband and I spent Thanksgiving with just my mom or with a small group of friends. In the most recent past years, before last year, it’s been having dinner with just one or two friends. My point is, not everyone has a big dinner to go to - and that’s ok. Y...

When it feels like success and fulfillment continue to elude you even when you think you’re doing all the right things and making the right moves, it can be a real mindf*ck. What’s holding you back? What’s the block? Why is it always one step forward, two steps back? Todd Bertsch wrestled with this question for years. He grew up in the 1970s and 1980s in a lower middle-class family where they didn...

As humans, we’re designed for interdependence – we cannot go it alone. We’re designed to be part of networks and complement each other’s journeys. The title of this episode is one of the reasons I started this podcast – to help listeners know they’re not alone in their feelings and life journey. But what happens when, due to your levels of sensitivity and empathy, you become so much in service to...

In a world where women are told to have it all, do it all, and be it all, the reality they face while actually trying to do these things is far more complex. The pay gap looms large – over the span of a career, it takes 132 years to close – while the confidence gap, the leadership gap, and the broken rung in the corporate ladder persist. Erica Anderson Rooney has faced all these challenges intimat...

Imagine you’re less than 30 years old, and so tired you’re afraid to drive because you might fall asleep at the wheel and cause an accident. Picture the frustration of seeing doctor after doctor after doctor, only to be told you’re not sick, just depressed. Then, after getting so many wrong answers, you conclude you have a brain tumor, because that seems to be the only possibility left. And while...

Fear often holds you back, even if it doesn’t make sense to be afraid. You can have everything you ever wanted – a fantastic career, creature comforts, money to afford anything you need, plus “f*ck-you money” in the bank that gives you the freedom to not have to do anything you don’t want to. And even with all that, you can still have an empty, nagging sense like you don’t really have anything at...

You know the saying: your network is your net worth. You can intentionally engineer the results by curating your circle of influence over time, keeping in touch, and being on the alert for subtle connections the casual observer might miss. And then you might unintentionally end up on a flight with the CEO of your former employer, take your chance on grabbing the seat next to him in first class, an...