Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast

After six years and nearly 300 episodes, this is the final episode of Finding Mr. Height on the public feed, and Ali didn’t want to do it alone. Her first co-host, Roark, and her second, Erica, come back to catch up on where they are now, then go all the way back to when the show started, their favorite moments & catchphrases, the episodes they’d put in a time capsule, and they’ve each viewed...

Skyline is back, this time for his send-off from the public pod. He talks about finding out what FMH actually was, going back to listen after their first few dates to scope out the competition, and why hearing your own date recapped on air feels like eavesdropping on a job interview. Ali tells him how close he came to being called Ink Master, he explains the very adult reason the pseudonym stays,...

For one of the last episodes of Finding Mr. Height, Ali sits down with the two friends she made in a podcasting world she assumed would be cutthroat: Ilana Dunn of Seeing Other People and Talia Koren of Dating Intentionally, recorded separately, back to back. Ilana was the first podcasting friend Ali ever made, five and a half years ago, and she came prepared with a list of every episode they have...

Serena Kerrigan went on 50 blind first dates on Instagram Live, and she is still making the same argument she made then: most of us decide who a person is before we have met them. She and Ali get into the mirror work behind her new book, out this week, why “being chill” is not an attachment problem but a sign you are with the wrong person, and what they each used to reject people over. Serena woul...

Dr. Katie Rickel is a clinical psychologist and a longtime FMH listener, and over six years of listening she kept collecting moments. Not clinical notes, just things Ali had said on the pod that a psychologist recognized. Eventually she brought Ali the list, and this episode is that list! It is not a diagnosis nor a therapy session, just a psychologist taking real examples from years of Ali talkin...

After more than five years and almost 300 episodes, Ali is ending the public podcast. In this solo episode she says it out loud for the first time, and then sits with the harder part: why now, and why she still is not sure it is the right call. The show will end sometime this fall. Ali does not have an exact date, and she will not say whether this is a true ending or a long pause. She talks about...

Ali is away this week, so this episode goes behind the Patreon paywall. It pulls together four of her favorite Updates segments from the last few months: designing an engagement ring and then getting immediately steamrolled by the wedding algorithm, admitting how much she hates being seen trying hard at something, a heavy week of grief that turned into a lesson about trusting her own resilience, a...

Ali is back with another Hot Topics episode answering listener questions. She opens with a question about her own path toward getting evaluated for ADHD: what finally pushed her to pursue a neuropsych evaluation after years of circling the idea, what the five hour eval was actually like, and why she is at peace with the possibility that no diagnosis comes out of it. Her feedback session is still t...

Ali sits down with Amanda Dames, aka The Kink Consultant, a sex and relationship coach and former NYC dominatrix, for a conversation that might surprise you in its relevancy - even if you don’t consider yourself kinky. Amanda reframes kink as something far broader than it sounds, as the two get into naming what you actually want, how to communicate that desire, and the aftercare that keeps both pe...

This week Ali sits down with relationship coach Ally Iseman, founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, for a full reframe of the emotion we love to hate. Ally's case: jealousy is not a character flaw or proof of love, it's information, and there's no such thing as a jealous person. She gets into why it hits so physically (her own first real wave of it in her 30s came with literal tunnel vision),...

Ali is joined by Skyline for part three of the moving-in-together series, and this time he is in the chair to answer for the version Ali told solo in parts one and two. They get into whether a 50/50 split actually feels fair, the CFO and CTO roles they have each fallen into, how they divide the chores nobody wants (yes, the litter trade), what it has really been like merging two independent lives...

Ali is joined by creator Sam Showalter, who went viral for a series about decentering her own husband. Eleven years into a relationship with her now-husband, she realized how much invisible mental load she was carrying that had nothing to do with him, from tracking whether he'd eaten lunch to rushing home from the gym by 6pm so she'd be available when he logged off… In January, she decided...

We're continuing the multi-part moving-in series inspired by listener questions. In part two, Ali gets into the stuff you can't put in a spreadsheet: sharing a space with another person, protecting alone time when you live together, merging two homes' worth of stuff, and picking your battles (except of course when it comes to toilet paper direction).  She reflects on what nine months o...

We’re talking all about moving in with a partner in this multi-part series I inspired by listener questions. In part one, Ali breaks down the practical side of moving in with a partner: splitting expenses, navigating one partner moving into the other’s home, divvying up housework, and more. She reflects back on the episode recorded with Skyline before he moved in, and what’s changed (or hasn’t) si...

Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency. Esin breaks down the unspoken childhood contracts we sign without realizing it, and how codependency shows up today in high-achieving, self-sufficient women who would never picture themselves as the "lost yourself in a relationship" type....

Alex Wolf, the founder behind the original Boss Babe movement turned tech philosopher, joins Ali to explore what the attention economy is quietly doing to our ability to connect with each other, including romantically. The conversation covers why "just delete the app" misses the point entirely, why the speed of technology adoption is the real problem, and how dating apps have the same desi...

Ali answers five listener questions that all share a common thread: the gap between wanting something and being able to follow through. A first-time manager grappling with imposter syndrome, a single mom navigating kid disclosure on the apps, someone processing timeline anxiety after leaving a relationship, a dater hitting a wall with the performance exhaustion of first dates, and someone three we...

This week, Ali is joined by Sarah, a listener who reached out to share her journey with desire and intimacy. Sarah opens up about how her health anxiety quietly muted her desire for sex until she sought out a specialized sex therapist, and how that work helped her reframe arousal, communicate with her husband, and rebuild a sex life that works for both of them. They also touch on practical tools t...

TW: This episode contains a brief discussion of cancer and loss. If you want to skip it, the guest segment begins at approximately minute 13. Brooke Janousek, founder of Someone You Should Meet, joins Ali to make the case for letting the people who know you best do the talking. Brooke and Ali dig into why apps fail to capture who people actually are, the courage gap between professional and person...

You're being interviewed, but you're also doing the interviewing. Most people forget the second part. Ali shares two episodes from the Finding Mr. Height Patreon in this special re-air, covering the interview process from both sides of the table. Part one is a practical guide to vetting a company before you accept an offer: how to use Glassdoor beyond the surface level, what LinkedIn can t...

This week, Ali sits down with Sarah Vacchiano, author of Soft Launch, who got married at 21, divorced at 27, and moved to New York City to start over from scratch. Sarah shares what it felt like to leave a marriage that looked fine on the outside, how she navigated a world she’d skipped the entry points to, and what it took to finally build an identity that was genuinely hers. She remarried at 37,...

TW: This episode includes discussion of grief, miscarriage and emotional abuse. This week, Ali is joined by a listener who shares her story of leaving a marriage rooted in cultural pressure, low self-worth, and years of emotional abuse. The conversation covers the internal voice she ignored while engaged, the compounding grief that finally pushed her out the door, and what it's looked like to...

Ali and Skyline are celebrating two years together! Together from Italy, they go deep on what two years actually looks like, covering how they handle disagreements, how intentional they've been about the relationship and whether that was by design or just who they are, what they've each learned about themselves through the relationship, and what surprised them most about each other along t...

Danielle McGeough joins Ali to talk about what happens after you hit the goal you've been chasing your whole career and realize it doesn't feel the way you thought it would (and how this relates to dating!). Danielle, a professor and creator of the RISE Ritual Method, unpacks the difference between burnout and demoralization, why habits alone won't get you out of a hollow season, and h...

Jordanne Sculler, licensed therapist, joins Ali to talk about dating burnout from the inside out. Rather than pointing to apps or circumstances as the culprit, Jordanne breaks down the internal patterns that are really driving exhaustion in dating, including the productivity trap of treating dating like a to-do list, people-pleasing and self-abandonment, and what it actually looks like to break a...