Find Your Freaks

Why choosing an unconventional life often means finding the courage to belong anyway There comes a moment when you realize that "normal" isn't actually the same thing as "right." Maybe it's reading ingredient labels for the first time. Maybe it's questioning a habit you've never thought twice about. Or maybe it's making a small decision that slowly changes the way you live your entire life. In thi...

Why reducing cognitive load creates communities where more people can participate, connect, and thrive Accessibility is often treated like a checklist: add captions, include transcripts, make sure the technology works. But what if accessibility is actually something much deeper? What if it is one of the clearest ways we communicate care and create spaces where people genuinely belong? In this solo...

What if accessibility isn't a checklist to complete, but one of the most powerful ways we create belonging? We love to talk about community — how to build it, grow it, and sustain it. But here’s the truth: you can’t have community without access. And too often, accessibility gets reduced to a narrow conversation about compliance, accommodations, or disability when it’s really about something much...

Why some communities become collaborative while others turn territorial, and what that reveals about belonging Some communities feel expansive. People share resources freely, celebrate each other’s wins, and welcome newcomers like there is enough room for everyone. Other spaces feel guarded. Information gets hoarded, collaboration feels performative, and every new voice quietly registers as compet...

What happens when the people around you stop feeling like competitors and start feeling like collaborators? There’s a stereotype about writers that most of us recognize immediately: the guarded creative protecting their ideas because success feels limited. And in some spaces, that mindset makes sense. When opportunities feel scarce, people naturally become more protective. But in this episode of F...

Why people don’t stop hiding because they want to, but because it finally feels safe to be seen. Most communities don’t fail because people stop caring. They fail because too much care is required from too few people. In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo explores what actually makes a community sustainable and why the traditional, leader-centered model quietly sets communities up to collapse. What loo...

What if the thing that makes you feel like an outsider is actually the key to real belonging? We spend a lot of time talking about how to build community — how to grow it, structure it, and sustain it. But we don’t talk nearly enough about what it feels like to be the person on the outside of it. The one who doesn’t quite fit, who feels like “too much,” or who has learned to edit themselves just t...

Why the strongest communities aren’t built around leadership but around shared ownership Most communities don’t fail because people stop caring. They fail because too much care is required from too few people. In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo explores what actually makes a community sustainable and why the traditional, leader-centered model quietly sets communities up to collapse. What looks like...

What happens when the system meant to create community quietly disappears? For decades, military spouse networks functioned as powerful support systems. They helped families navigate deployments, relocations, and the emotional weight of military life. But as cultural expectations changed — and the volunteer structures holding those networks together disappeared — many military families found thems...

Why strong communities aren’t built through activity, but through shared responsibility and trust. Most communities don’t fail because of bad content, the wrong platform, or even the wrong people. They fail because of design. In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo explores why many communities appear active but still feel shallow or fragile. High engagement doesn’t always mean people feel connected—and...

Why shared values matter more than size when building real community Some freaks build massive platforms. Stages. Email lists. Follower counts. And then there are the freaks who build quietly — curating small circles rooted in shared values, deep trust, and sustainable connection. In this episode of Find Your Freaks , Tonya Kubo sits down with business strategist and operations expert Gwen Bortner...

Why activity isn’t the same thing as impact—and why belonging begins where responsibility starts. Belonging doesn’t come from being visible. It comes from knowing that if you weren’t there, something real would be missing. In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on a moment from her conversation with Jeff Yoshimi that wouldn’t let her go: people stay engaged when their effort actually changes so...

How play, science, and grief come together to create unexpected community Some freaks show up in obvious places. Labs. Universities. Gaming consoles. And then there are the freaks who live at the intersections — where research meets play, grief meets creativity, and community forms in unexpected ways. In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with philosopher, cognitive scientist,...

Why looking “fine” can be the loneliest place to be. Some of the freakiest people you’ll ever meet don’t stand out at all. They blend in. They’re competent, reliable, polished. The ones everyone depends on. And quietly, they’re barely holding it together. In this solo follow-up episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on her recent conversation with Rachel Alexandria to explore the hidden cost of being the st...

Why high performers can be the loneliest people in the room. Some freaks are easy to spot. Dyed hair. Tattoos. Bold opinions. Loud joy. And then there are the freaks who look fine . In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with former psychotherapist turned soul medic Rachel Alexandria to talk about the hidden loneliness of high performers — the people who appear successful, capab...

Everyone is in a rush to publish, to launch, to ship – to get something, anything , out into the world as fast as possible. But what if slowing down isn’t a liability? What if it’s actually your superpower? In this solo episode, Tonya reflects on her conversation with book coach and ghostwriter Candice L. Davis to explore why craft matters now more than ever. In a world where AI churns out endless...

Why thoughtful, human writing still matters in an AI-obsessed world Most people dream of writing a book — fewer are willing to sit with the depth, discomfort, and time it truly requires. In this episode, Tonya Kubo and award-winning book coach Candice L. Davis unpack the cultural obsession with rushing: rushing to publish, rushing to create, rushing to get something “out there” before it’s ready....

Why showing up isn’t about ego, it's about belonging. You might think being visible means being vain — that wanting to be seen, heard, or recognized is somehow selfish. But what if visibility isn’t about attention at all? What if it’s the key to helping your people find you? In this solo episode, Tonya reflects on her conversation with her biz bestie and creative collaborator Mary Williams of Sens...

Most of us want to be noticed. Fewer of us are willing to admit it. In this candid conversation, Tonya Kubo and content strategist Mary Williams dismantle the shame surrounding visibility and ambition in the online business world. Together, they explore what it really takes to be seen for the right reasons and why “wanting to be famous” doesn’t make you fake. Mary argues that craftsmanship, consis...

Why our differences matter less than we think — and curiosity might be the cure. You can look at someone’s family, politics, or religion and think it’s nothing like yours. But underneath, most of us are fighting for the same things: safety, belonging, and a shot at raising the next generation, or at least leaving the world a little better than we found it. In solo episode, Tonya unpacks her conver...

What happens when your family doesn’t fit the template; and you stop trying to force it? In this candid conversation, holistic family consultant Jen Gerardy joins Tonya to talk about parenting as a queer, non-monogamous, neurodivergent-embracing human — and why the goal isn’t to “fix” yourself or your kids, but to design relationships that work for the people who live inside them. We unpack best p...

Why your lived experience is the most important credential you’ll ever need. Movements rarely begin with experts or institutions. They begin with ordinary people who decide that “enough is enough.” In this episode, Tonya explores how lived experience — not degrees, titles, or training — qualifies you to take the next right step toward change. You’ll hear how everyday advocacy can look like: Naming...

What if the thing that shakes your world isn’t an abstract issue or a headline, but something that happens to your kids? That was the case for brand strategist and creative advisor Nikki James Zellner. When her children’s daycare had a carbon monoxide leak that left dozens of kids and staff poisoned, she stumbled into a safety loophole that would change the course of her life. In this episode, Nik...

Why Some Lives Are Grieved and Others Ignored What makes one person’s suffering worthy of compassion while another’s is dismissed as deserved? In this solo episode of Find Your Freaks , host Tonya Kubo wrestles with the haunting question: Whose suffering counts? Building on her conversation with Rachel Allen in Episode 4, Tonya explores how society decides whose pain deserves acknowledgment, and w...

What we owe the incarcerated — and the communities holding on outside What if the punishment wasn’t the prison sentence itself, but the isolation that follows? In this raw and unflinching conversation, writer and podcaster Rachel Allen joins Tonya Kubo to pull back the curtain on life behind bars — not only for those incarcerated, but also for the families left standing in fluorescent visitation r...