Fast Football and Philosophy

We're still struggling with World Cup fever! In this episode, Jack and I discuss creation myths. There's loads of them and some of them are absolutely bonkers. It's lovely stuff. However, the birth of the beautiful game in faraway lands is sometimes even weirder. Why did the Japanese shout "oooh!" every time they kicked a ball? Why are the mighty Saints to blame for the five...

In this week's (late, I know - we're sorry) episode, Jack and I discuss the enigmatic philosopher Jacques Derrida as we hastily retreat back from any possibly pending FIFA lawsuits. Derrida, or as we like to now call him, Toto, pulls back the curtain of time to discuss how the past constantly haunts us. Football might just be the most haunted sport of all: think about Best and Beckham's number 7 (...

In this episode Jack and I discuss corruption, plain and simple. Is a cryo chamber elite recovery or just posh cheating? This week, we tackle the murky line between gamesmanship and outright rule-breaking, from the days when lifting weights was “ungentlemanly” to the small matter of FIFA, World Cups, and suitcases full of suspicious cash. We sprint through Plato, Aristotle, Machiavelli, Hobbes, an...

In this episode, Adam and Jack see how philosophy can helpus frame and properly discuss ‘cheating’ in the beautiful game. With Southampton interns doing a somehow worse job than Adam pantomiming as a tree in his Year 1 nativity scene, one has to ask, ‘is this really what the game has come to?’ We set the scene with Spygate and then Jack regales us withtales about  Greek gods, Immanuel Kant, Machia...

That's folks, the end of season 2. I know, I know, you're sad. But fear not! We'll be back bigger and better than ever before in time for season 3. For now, satiate your appetite for all things FFP with this episode loosely based on reward and punishment, promotions and relegations, the Greek God Bacchus, Jack's need for therapy, and, of course, the Mighty Magyars and their legacy....

Intriguingly, 'ultra' comes from the Latin 'ultrā', meaning 'to go beyond'. In this episode, Jack and I discuss football's ultras, from Partick Thistle through to Milan to ask the question: what is it that they do? Jack invokes some ancient and modern philosophy to tell us why the 'ultra' phenomenon is so ingratiated into football's psyche. Can singing that...

Football just might be the greatest story ever told. However, inhis famous novel Nausea Jean-Paul   Sartre warns us of astark decision we have to make, 'We have to choose: live or tell!' His character Roquentin (admittedly a bit of a miserable bastard) says we impose a narrative on our lives which without them are chaotic, raw and meaningless. But if we are honest we should have the cojone...

Sorry we 're late everyone! In this reactive episode, Jack and I discuss the religiosity of football: just how religious is it? From Jack being a football heretic and actually being a rugby man (unbelievable, I know - you should write in and tell him) to discussing the Church of Maradona in Argentina, we go on a sprawling discussion of religion, politics and football. What do you think? Can we kee...

In this week's episode Jack and I hit upon a controversial topic: national service. No, we're not advocating for conscription, but the way we think about who players should play for is often like that. So what if you're English: why can't you play for Ireland if your granny hails from the Emerald Isle? Why can't France hoover up all of the best African talent? See, it is contro...

In today's episode, Jack and I discuss the philosophical work of Nietzsche - the godfather of every teen emo to have ever lived. His philosophical thought was and remains incredibly influential and pervasive across the ways in which we think and live our lives, so why not apply it to English football's nearlymen? Is Arteta really screaming into his pillow every night whilst listening to Av...

In today’s episode Jack and I discuss the notion of sovereignty: where lies the power of football clubs? Are fans happy to relinquish their agencyto power-hungry (and sometimes just hungry) madmen like Evangelis Marinakis for footballing success, or would we rather have potentially less success, and retain our sovereignty and self-respect. Just like Financial Fair Play, we here at FFP have designe...

In this episode, Jack and I discussed John Stuart Mill’s Principle of Harm and how it relates to Ruben Amorim’s disasterclass at Manchester United. We also philosophically discussed stubbornness and even delved into a little epistemology, and why it’s always better to be ‘reedy’ as per Aesop’s Fable. I then get on my soapbox and decry popular ideas surrounding player ability, and how managers are...

In this week’s episode, Jack and I discuss Heraclitus’ paddle in the river, and we ask, ‘can you really support the same team forever? For they’re not the same team, and you’re not the same person having had supporting them.’ Heraclitus ended up covering himself in shite to cure his dropsy, should Spurs fans do the same to cure their supposed curse? We come to the conclusion, through Karl Popper’s...

What do you think of Tottenham? This week, Jack and I discuss the results of our Boxing Day quiz and introduce the first deep dive of our second season: the curse of Spurs. Jack also bursts into song. Next week we're going to be asking ontological questions about the Lilywhites: who are they? What are they? and perhaps most important of all, is being shite a part of their DNA? Listen in to nex...

In a depressing period where Arsenal can somehow occupy the top spot in both Europe and England, we give you some good news: we're back, baby! Season 2 will be back on the 29th January, and we can't wait to share with you our 'work'. Don't forget though, you need to get your Boxing Day answers to us by the 27th if you want to get your mitts on an original Fast Football and Phil...

Happy holidays everyone! Have you ever thought the FA are a bit bah-humbug? We have. In this episode, we discuss how the FA’s refusal to implement a proper winter break in favour of a packed footballing schedule over the festive period is, as Louis van Gaal once said, ‘the most evil thing about this culture’. We think that holidays are of real philosophical importance:they invigorate us, let us se...

Today we look at the *English* hero Harry Kane, and thesecret to how he has become England’s top goalscorer. Jack and I discuss stoicism, the Greek and Roman philosophy all about how to achieve the best life and age like the fine wine Ronaldo certainly doesn’t drink. Stoicism accounts for all of the great footballers’ nous:knowing when to track that runner, knowing when to switch the play, and, if...

In today's (late) episode, Jack and I discuss hypercollectivity and how it is an indescribable 'thing'. It's like seeing your crush dance with the boy who can actually play football, it's the taste of your first after-work pint, and the delirium of winning the Lincoln Sunday League Division 2 title. Experiencing football is experiencing these things we call 'qualia': it...

In this episode, Jack and I offer you either the red or the blue pill. Take the blue pill, and you carry on festering in your mum's basement playing your FIFA. Take the red though, and you'll experience football as it's supposed to be experienced. This first-part episode describes the philosophy of Jean Baudrillard, who claims that reality has become far too complex, and as such, we&#3...

In this episode, Jack and I discuss the myth of King Midas and his hubris. Midas was a good guy, treated people well and worked hard. But then he made terrible decision, and chased a life of material gain. Sound familiar? Lamine Yamal, currently not participating in Spain's qualifying campaign due to an inflamed pubic area (totally unrelated to the following) has been courting the kinds of att...

Zlatan, on arriving at PSG once said, 'It's true I don't know much about the players here, but they definitely know who I am.' He's right isn't he? And that's the point: we here at FFP believe Zlatan is a character being played, kind of like Lorraine Kelly but maybe not for tax reasons (please, please google it). We all have a bit of Ibra about us, don't we? Well, m...

In today's episode, Jack and I discuss the notion of 'corporeity' and apply it to our understanding of what it means to be a fan of a football club, and one in particular: Manchester United. In lieu of that fan still not being able to cut his bloody hair, we conclude that it's not necessarily the players' fault, but the hierarchy above them. Everyone knows you can't sack th...

In this episode, we here at FFP clearly prove beyond all rational doubt that Maradona was an evil genius with the ball at his feet. Before that goal in '86, did he make a pact with the devil? Almost definitely not, but it's fun to think about. Western history abounds with tales of the sinister machinations of those who are left-handed, or use their left hands for evil. We apply history's hard-earn...

In today's episode we explore Albert Camus' absurd philosophy and ask the question: why are you a Fulham fan? Or any fan for that matter? Football means something to all of us, and Camus believes, it's the love of the struggle every fan faces.

In today's episode, Jack and I discuss Big Ange Postecoglu's dismissal from Nottingham Forest by talking about his potentially Marxist alienation towards the beautiful game, how football might be the opium of the masses, and how the growing commercialisation of football plays right into the proletariat's zest for revolution! We also, err... talk about Rolf Harris and the need to disman...