Fake Love and Flying Monkeys

Emotional abuse can be difficult to spot, especially when it's masked by manipulative tactics or disguised as "normal" relationship dynamics.  In this episode I guide you through ten key signs to help you identify if you're experiencing emotional abuse and psychological abuse.  From constant criticism and gaslighting to controlling behaviors and the silent treatment, I explain...

Why would a narcissist pursue marriage when they lack empathy and struggle with genuine connection? In this revealing episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I uncover the hidden motivations behind a narcissist's desire to walk down the aisle. It’s rarely about love—marriage is a tool for control, status, and securing a long-term supply of validation. We explore how narcissists use marriage...

Ingrained habits can accelerate recovery from narcissistic abuse. Dr Gina, a world expert in Habit Change explains how toxic patterns often reinforce the psychological damage inflicted by a narcissist. By shifting these negative habits, survivors can regain control, foster emotional resilience, and rebuild self-worth. This episode provides actionable, research-based strategies for breaking free fr...

These enablers often act on behalf of the narcissist, spreading lies, creating tension, and making it even harder to break free from the toxic cycle. In this episode I offer practical strategies on how to respond to flying monkeys in your family, without getting caught up in the drama. Learn how to set boundaries, protect your mental health, and navigate these complex dynamics. Whether you're...

When a narcissist begins to devalue you their texting habits will change dramatically. From abrupt changes in tone to love-bombing through text messages, we analyse the key patterns that make communication with a narcissist so confusing and unsettling. Learn how their erratic messaging is part of a broader manipulation strategy, and gain valuable insights into protecting your emotional well-being....

Narcissists use their kids to boost their ego, treating them like extensions of themselves rather than individuals. From lacking empathy to always needing control, narcissistic parents don’t give the unconditional love and support children need. We’ll talk about how If you've ever wondered how a narcissist impacts their children’s emotional well-being, this episode dives into the hard truths,...

Narcissists use food as another way to control and manipulate the people in their lives. The complex relationship between narcissists and food. In this episode, we explore how control, indulgence, power and manipulation often intertwine with their eating habits and yours. Tune in to learn how food becomes a weapon for dominance and what it reveals about their desire for control and their own self-...

In their book "Framed  - Women in the Family Court Underworld ", Dr. Christine and Amy Polacko expose the disturbing realities within the family court system. In this episode, they discuss their new book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld which highlights the struggles of mothers facing coercive control and narcissistic abuse. Learn how abusers manipulate the system and why fam...

Narcissists keep their partners trapped in a cycle of manipulation and control. We discuss 5 crucial things you will never experience in a relationship with a narcissist in this episode. These are things that you would normally take for granted in a healthy relationship such as emotional support and genuine love. Learn how these missing elements can leave you feeling empty, confused, and stuck in...

Narcissists uses blocking as a form of punishment while unblocking you re-establishes their control over you. In this episode we dive deep into why narcissists use this strategy, examining the cruel psychological games they play to keep you hooked in cycles of confusion, hope, and desperation.  We also take a deep dive into how to avoid their games in the first place. Support the Show on Apple Pod...

Betrayal trauma can be excruciating for those involved in abusive relationships with narcissists, leaving them struggling to rebuild trust. In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the concept of betrayal trauma within the context of narcissistic abuse. We unpack the emotional toll this hidden form of trauma takes on survivors. We also look at the narcissist's strategies that ensure thei...

Dealing with a narcissist who turns your family against you can feel isolating and devastating. In this eye-opening episode, we explore the heartbreaking reality of when a narcissist turns your family against you. In this episode, we explore how narcissists use manipulation, smear campaigns, and gaslighting to create a wedge between you and your loved ones, common tactics used by narcissists to ma...

 Dr Christine is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher & Survivor. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW.  She is a college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years and a social justice advocate for a local domestic violence agency, since the age of 19. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of adult and child...

While "I love you" may seem genuine, narcissists often use these words as a tool for control and manipulation. In this episode, we unpack the hidden meaning behind the phrase "I love you" when spoken by a narcissist.  We'll explore how their version of love differs from healthy relationships, and why these declarations often come with strings attached. Learn to identify th...

Gaslighting makes you feel crazy! In this episode, we explore 10 Gaslighting Phrases the narcissist manipulates you with, shedding light on the subtle and damaging tactics used to distort your reality. These manipulative phrases are designed to control, confuse, and erode your self-esteem.  In this episode we explore... * text book gaslighting phrases used by all narcissists. * Why Gaslighting mak...

Whether you're just considering going no contact or are already in the process, this episode offers valuable insights, validation, and support on your journey to recovery from narcissistic relationships . In this episode, I explore the life-changing decision of going no contact with a narcissist and why it's a crucial step for healing.  When survivors maintain any form of contact with a...

Vanessa is best known for running in a wedding dress, the state of New York (285 miles in 11 days), to raise awareness for narcissistic abuse. Vanessa M. Reiser is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), licensed in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Florida. She is a psychotherapist and the founder of Tell a Therapist, LLC as well as the founder of the nonprofit, Tell a Therapist, INC. Sh...

Narcissists expertly avoid accountability and deflect blame, while making you question your own reality. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys , we dive deep into the narcissist's favourite tactic—blame shifting. We'll explore how narcissists twist the truth to keep control, leaving victims trapped in self-doubt and confusion. Learn the key signs of blame shifting, understand w...

 Whether it’s Christmas, your birthday, or a long-anticipated holiday, you can almost guarantee that a narcissist will find a way to ruin it. One of the most common tactics that narcissists use to maintain control is to sabotage any event that brings you joy. This pattern of behaviour is not accidental—it’s part of a deliberate strategy to manipulate, control, and undermine you. But why do narciss...

The daughter of a narcissistic mother spends their whole life trying to please a toxic parent, who can't or won't love them unconditionally. To a narcissistic mother, their daughter represents a threat to their grandiose view of themselves.   They hang in there however,  thinking one day,  ONE DAY, their mother will change. They feel a sense of duty and  obligation to keep trying to love...

Narcissists love to keep as many exes as they can waiting in the wings so they can recycle them. But why do they do this? Why do they want to keep someone around whom they professed to hate so much?  If you have been abused by a narcissist in the past then it's really important to understand the how and why narcissists recycle their ex-victims so you can protect yourself, and this episode wil...

A narcissistic boss or colleague, workplace bullying and covert measures of abuse make your life hell when you have to see them every day!  What do you when this is your job, you can't leave,  and you spend more time with these people than you do with your family? In this fascinating episode I talk with David Gillespie, the Author of 'Toxic at Work - Surviving Your Psychopathic Workmates...

Spotting a narcissist isn't as straightforward as we'd like—it’s not like they wear a sign that says "Stay Away!" The overuse of the word "narcissist" in society often dilutes the experiences of true victims, making it harder to recognize genuine narcissistic abuse. The emotional scars left by these toxic individuals are profound, and the mere thought of encountering...

The narcissist always has an agenda when they attend counselling with you. That agenda NEVER involves fixing themselves or repairing the relationship with the person they love. The narcissist's agenda is always self-serving.  In this episode, we unpack.... *Will counselling with a professional make the narcissist accountable? *Will a therapist always be able to see through the narcissist&apos...

Narcissists use "flying monkeys" to get to you when they can't. These individuals, whether aware of it or not, are manipulated to do the narcissist's bidding. But are all flying monkeys toxic? In this blog, we’ll explore what flying monkeys are, how they function in narcissistic dynamics, and how to protect yourself from their influence. In this episode we unpack... *Are all fl...