Factory Sealed Video Game Podcasts

Two weeks was ample time to delve into Landstalker and its world of ludicrous controls, ballet brothels, and tricky platforming. Dan finishes, Tom goes missing, Jess leaves before the end of the show, and Eric gets drunk and plays Smash Brothers instead.

Inexplicable lesbianism and robotic crotch-hugging bugs feature heavily as we play Fear Effect 2: Retro Helix, just after discovering that Dan lives in the past and that internet wires are meant to stay plugged in.

With a century of episodes behind us we celebrate by playing The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, sharing your favorite memories of the show, and sending a ghost to attack someone’s room by giving away the Jeeves box (and loads of other prizes!

There’s much to be discovered this week: we learn that Castlevania Bloodlines stars a real-life serial killer, go on the hunt for treasure in the super-shiny Uncharted 4, and reveal our plans for the mysterious Jeeves Box (mmm, quite).

Dan made it home from Australia just in time for Jess to go mysteriously missing. In all the confusion, everyone forgot to play a game, but that doesn’t stop us from talking about what else we’re playing, Nintendo NX/Nintendo’s mad plans, this week’s big gaming news, and the many eccentricities of the land down under.

Scheduling conflicts aside, Eric and Jess team up to explore the universe of Ratchet & Clank, work on their Dan impressions, join a motorcycle gang, get in a bar fight, and analyze the depths of gaming memories in this ultra soft polyester blend edition of Factory Sealed.

Strap on your flight suit, give your jock buns a squeeze, and prepare your lug holes! We’re taking flight with Star Fox, Star Fox 64, and the cancelled Star Fox 2. We’ve also got more details on our monumental 100th episode and the mysterious Jeeves Box.

Violence is abounding this week as we subject ourselves to the undeniably terrible, but historically important Night Trap. We also weigh in on that Nintendo Zapper themed pistol, fighting games in general, and the most memorable games from each console.

Fully regrouped, the whole crew reunites and is joined by longtime listener/fan/awesome guy Matt Earney to discuss the crazy world of Undertale, the impending arrival of Final Fantasy XV, and the silky smoothness of Tom’s ‘area’.

A lost continent rises from the depths of the sea, Goddess Maira plunges the world into darkness, Narcia struggles to overcome her emotions, and Pietro wonders if he has it in him to save those he loves. Join Eric and Tom as they roll the credits on Story 3 of the exceptional PoPoLoCrois.

Eric moves to the moon, Dan build’s an island out of children’s tears, and John Wayne’s horse joins to discuss Heart of Darkness, Salt and Sanctuary, and Batman vs Super man, all while failing to avoid using old man voices on this inaugural episode of the Factory Sealed Cheese and Pottery Podcast.

As Eric and Dan unite once more for a two-man show, we learn that Sonic Adventure is a marvelous turd, get put in our place by an Australian, tell way too many immature penis jokes, point out more segues, and debate the future of Playstation VR.

Eric and Tom unite in Vegas in actual real life and join forces with Dan and Jess to thwart Craig’s Vague Plague in Red Faction, discuss Pokemon Red, and argue about what constitutes an animal for best animal companion in a retro game.

Mystery is afoot as the crew tries to make sense of the police detective/airborne kung-fu simulator know as Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit, stopping off along the way to talk Zelda Twilight Princess HD, Super Smash Brothers, Amiibo collecting obsessions, and the fate of Nathan Drake.

We play The Sims and in the process create a pseudo podium polisher, a bizarre pool torture chamber, and an adult with awkward incontinence issues, proving once and for all that we can’t care for anything more complex than a potato.

Despite a spectacular late arrival from Tom the Technophobe, the whole crew unites to annoy Eric by arguing that all games are RPGs. Also, learn how to be a good parent, gain more knowledge about Megaman X than you could possibly ever need, and enjoy the briefest celebration of Zelda’s 30th anniversary you’ve ever heard.

Eric and Dan partner up to deliver a very intimate two man Valentine’s Day show filled with brooms, hobs, aubergines, and the possessed farts of a doomed mudoken from Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus.

What what tally ho old bean! Put on your monocle, get your upper lip as stiff as possible and listen to us talk about Grim Fandango, the death of guides, and Eric’s gradual transformation into a cyborg.

Even a broken collarbone can’t stop Eric from making a triumphant return to talk nonsense with the crew! Highlights include finishing Paper Mario, an extended discussion of toilet etiquette, and a good dollop of Final Fantasy Explorers/Final Fantasy XV chat.

Perhaps foolishly, Jess and Tom go AWOL and let Dan and Eric man the show. As a result, we discuss British pinky etiquette, inexplicably sexual gaming adverts of yesteryear, the beautiful simplicity of Paper Mario and FFXIII’s Lightning’s new career as a fashion model.

Although we Have No Mouth and Cannot Scream, we still manage to achieve new levels of stupidity and talk about baked bean cultural differences, Eric’s lottery-winning ambitions, and sexism within 60’s fiction.

Christmas happened! We reveal our top games of 2015 (with an FS twist), Tom reveals his in-progress Eric impression, and we all debate the technicalities of punting.

To the amazement of the crew, everyone (yes, including Jess) manages to finish a game, Eric purchases a Wii U and has his heart melted by wooly dinosaurs, and Beneath a Steel Sky proves to be perhaps the most sexual-reference-filled game in existence.

The Galaxy is explored in a pirate ship in Rogue Galaxy, everyone denounces Wipeout 64 as clearly inferior to the Playstation version, and Eric falls madly in love with running over cows in a truck equipped with drills.

Gather round kids! Queen Sania may be saved, but darkness awaits the Lion Hearted king of PoPoLocrois. Eric and Tom join Pietro et al for the second story of their whimsical adventure.