Expounded Universe

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-29-and-it-turned-into-the-ballroom-bith.mp3 The wheel begins spinning anew with the tales behind every dime store werewolf and devil mask seeking a drink and some shade in the famed Mos Eisley Cantina.  Our anthology begins with the story of Figrin D’An and the Modal Nodes, the hottest jizz act since… I am not going to finish tha...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-28-the-crystal-stop.mp3 The big wrap-up episode!  We answer your questions about The Crystal Star (Obviously, we are the world established experts on the topic now), discuss the themes of the book, and announce the next chapter in the ongoing Expounded series! Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-27-and-then-it-blew-up.mp3 The yawning conclusion of Crystal Star finally arrives!  Thrill as dramatic tension moments rise unnoticed and are swept away within a paragraph to get to more hair compliments! Don’t forget, listeners!  Next week is the wrap-up episode for this saga of Expounded Universe.  We’ll be announcing the next...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-26-mister-bumblesnuffle.mp3 In this chapter, something happens.  Hey, don’t forget to actually hit us with Star Wars questions, as our wrap-up episode is coming soon. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-25-unlimited-salad-and-dogsticks.mp3 We’re building to a crescendo here, we just know it!  This whole book definitely can’t go by with the most exciting action scene being Leia escaping from a tow truck, no sir!  Anyway this time Hethrir reveals his villainous plan, Han has a real problem, and fan favorite character the Chamberla...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-24-this-sun-is-a-mass-of-ineffable-ass.mp3 Great news, Universeketeers (Expoundettes?)!  This chapter contains the thrilling conclusion to both the kid-town frolics capers on Hethrir’s worldcraft AND the sudden and well-deserved removal of the Lelilah and Geyyahab characters from the rest of the story.  Beautiful!  Sadly, we don’...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-23-hey-there-lelilah1.mp3 The kids escape, Han fumes, and Lelilah descends into some sort of criminal underworld tantrum.  It’s all coming to a head and we’re here to talk about it! Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megapho...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-22-his-name-was-hethrir-he-was-a-dancer.mp3 Lelila and Geyyahab learn some big secrets, Han recovers after seeing a murder, and Luke fails to save the drama for his long-dead mama on today’s exciting episode of Expounded Universe.  Also, Threepio drops some wicked sass. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-21-when-waru-still-crushin-ithorians.mp3 The Jedi children enjoy the literal fruits of their recent Proctor-bamboozling, Leia has a a wookie makeover party, and the Waru plot goopens, as the Bizarro Meatwad reveals his true interests.  Will Han ever confront his gambling problems?  What the heck are color crawlers?  And why is Lu...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-20-waru-huh-good-god.mp3 We finally meet Waru, the big ball of oozing meat and gold that just loves to love!  Waru is hosting some sort of seminar on castile soaps and healing seaweed people and we’re here to talk about it.  Also, Leia is a “diplomat” and Jaina continues scamping. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Se...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-19-qaqquqqu-gjoob.mp3 Today, we are thrilled to finally introduce you to the richest and most dynamic  new cast of characters ever found in a Star Wars Expanded Universe novel.  It’s so good.  Also, Han gets a little summer camp crush, Luke is sickly, and Leia … nothing new, she continues to hate Chewbacca. Got Star Wars question...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-18-xaverri-bad-things.mp3 Whoa, subchapters!  Almost forgot about these things!  On today’s thrilling (that’s Star Wars-ese for “boring”) adventure, Leia gets surprisingly dark, Luke gets surprisingly weird, and Jaina… well look, Jaina’s just standing around watching Hethrir really lean into some jazz hands around his big new sig...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/expounded-universe-17-an-impossibly-beautiful-man-appears.mp3 Star Wars meets Dickens in the first chapter we’ve read that’s from the point of view of a five-year old.  We’re truly committing to the Legends brand today as we step behind the eyes of Jaina e Solo, the precocious daughter of the very married Han and Leia.  Also featured: Hethrir, our...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/expounded-universe-16-her-ethereal-thiccness.mp3 Today we’ve got someone new to discuss, a character that has never been seen before in Expounded Universe history, and not only that, it’s a full chapter, just for him.  That’s right, we’re gonna hang with Han “The Han” Solo all day long on today’s episode, and he’ll grab spiders, try to spend fancy...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/expounded-universe-15-horrible-dogs.mp3 Welcome to season 2!  No more Xizor.  No more Dash Rendar.  I know!  It’s sad!  But don’t worry, dear listeners, because some things never change.  Like Leia being grossed out by aliens, or Chewbacca getting beat up every few minutes!  We’ve got all that and more in the second book of our continuing saga, as...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-14-xizor-consequences.mp3 The victory lap of Shadows of the Empire begins.  We bring a pile of stuff to the table, between the book’s exciting (note: not really) epilogue, a wonderful copy of the SotE expansion for West End Games’ D6 Star Wars RPG, and questions from listeners.  After becoming fully convinced that the beast Xizor...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-13-but-why-start-doing-the-smart-thing-now.mp3 WE ARE DONE!  This is it, the end of the story of Shadows of The Empire!  Who lives?  Who dies?  What is it to harn?  You’ll find out here in chapters 37-40! Don’t forget to tune in next week because this episode has a post-credit sequence.  Catch this book’s epilogue, a little Q&A,...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-12-benny-and-the-jerks1.mp3 Our signature sultry audio has returned!  On today’s episode, it’s the sewer level, Vader finally makes his move via a catty phone call, and Xizor is confused about his relationship status. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com. Learn more...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-11-moonglow-over-my-hammy.mp3 Let’s put the cards on the table regarding this episode.  The sound sucks.  There was a catastrophic sound failure during our recording a weekend or two ago that ate a few episodes alive, including this one.  So go in ready.  Otherwise, we are getting close to the endgame of Shadows.  Xizor machinate...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/expounded-universe-10-xizor-takes-a-knee.mp3 We are joined in today’s episode by Kat and Pranks from a friendly Star Wars podcast of their very own, Never Tell Me The Pods! We’ll be exploring chapters 28-30, in which the grand Xizor seduction plotline comes to a gross, dumb, veiny head. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to th...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/expounded-universe-9-fully-armed-and-operational-molestation1.mp3 In today’s episode, Princess Leia is sexually assaulted by a big red lizard man.  Everyone else who shows up at all just spins their wheels.  Dash Rendar isn’t even here.  Palpatine wisely sits this one out.  Han was so embarassed he stayed frozen in carbonite. Got Star Wars question...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/expounded-universe-8-guri-interrupted3.mp3 In this episode everyone but Luke spins their wheels and so does he, honestly. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/expounded-universe-7-the-rodian-less-twaveled.mp3 Chapters 19 – 21.  In which Dash Rendar gets a real wicked sad going, Leia finally meets Guri, and against all odds, Bothans just keep on dying! Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/expounded-universe-6-the-life-and-death-of-manny-bothans.mp3 In which Dash Rendar slowly turns into that kid that gets birthday presents at your birthday party, Vader and the Emperor make the briefest possible appearances, and Leia ponders the existence of lady criminals. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual place,...

https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/expounded-universe-5-horkin-up-dangle-hams.mp3 Welcome to the majesty of chapters 13-15.  In which our hero Prince Xizor capers and cavorts about most evilly, Luke does some canyon racing, Threepio belabors the joke, and … well, Xizor pervs out harder than any man should perv. Got Star Wars questions?   We’ve got answers.  Send them to the usual pl...