ExcommuniDate: Life & Love After Religion

In this year-end recap episode, hosts Austin, Jessa, and producer Miguel pull back the curtain on their first year of podcasting. They share technical disasters (internet outages, mic mishaps, Rubik's cube fidgeting), administrative fails (the "draft" title incident), and lessons learned about audience engagement. Topics include: controversial TikTok comments about Snapchat culture,...

Jack Violently joins Jessa, Austin, and Miguel to share his story of growing up evangelical, slowly losing faith, and figuring out who he is without religion’s script. He opens up about church trauma, purity culture, the fear of questioning doctrine, and the strange freedom that comes after belief collapses. With humor and honesty, they talk about identity, morality outside religion, friendship af...

In this play-along episode, we put modern dating under a microscope. Hosts Austin, Jessa, and guest Laz share their biggest dating gripes, then score them as icks or red flags from 1 to 5. Topics include: baby-talk sign-offs ("bye-bye now"), the "females" label, texting vs. IRL tone, food etiquette (string cheese, wings, sharing plates), tipping culture, flag-waving patriot gam...

What happens when you're raised to believe the world is always ending? Violinist Amber Dobbs unpacks her childhood in The Message, a Pentecostal cult led by prophet William Branham. From apocalyptic fear to shame-based control, Amber shares how she escaped the Branhamites and began deconstructing her faith. Learn to identify brainwashing tactics, understand high control religions, and hear Am...

What happens when the faith you’ve built your life around becomes the very thing that breaks it apart? In this episode, Jessa and Austin sit down with Rip and Steph Graven to explore their journey from leading ministry to walking away from the church they were asked to help create in the Bay Area. Rip and Steph open up about the heartbreak of spiritual disillusionment, the strain it placed on thei...

The MomTok divide crystallizes when Jen and Zach uninvite Jesse, Demi, Layla, and Taylor from their baby blessing, separating the "good Mormons" from everyone else. Whitney's poor taste fruity pebbles gift to Demi at Galentine's Day only deepens the rift. From hot-tub tension to Galentine's shade, Austin and Jessalynn dissect the friendship politics, calling out emotional...

Love is Blind's Amber Wilder opens up about her journey from homeschool and high-control Southern Baptist upbringing to religious deconstruction and finding love after leaving faith. We trace her path through purity culture, patriarchy, early marriages, and the quarter-life crisis that led to therapy and a complete life reset. Amber shares raw insights about religious trauma, family boundarie...

Who is Miguel? We finally sit down with the man behind the chair. Miguel shares his story of growing up in a deeply religious Protestant household in Puerto Rico, the betrayal that shattered his trust, and the slow, sometimes painful process of deconstructing his faith. We talk about cultural shock in the Midwest, finding family through friendships, navigating dating with a religious past, and kee...

What happens when church rules and family expectations squeeze too tight? You either suffocate—or break free.  In this episode, Austin Schoen (aka the cooler, younger Austin, now with Bluetooth) shares his story of leaving the Southern Baptist church and navigating life after faith. From purity culture shame to cognitive dissonance, family fallout, and therapy breakthroughs, Austin opens up about...

Drama, guilt, and vibrators… oh my! In this Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Episode 2 recap, Jessa and Austin spill the Utah tea on Taylor’s post-arrest pregnancy, toxic relationships, and a brewing alpha female feud with Whitney. We break down the MomTok branding battles, the vibrator deal that shook the group, and how Mormon culture fuels sexual shame and relationship guilt. From Book of Mormon pur...

Marine vet Lazaro Facio shares his journey from Catholicism to atheism, exploring morality, family, and life after leaving religion.  We sit down with Lazaro Facio who is a Marine Corps veteran, proud atheist, and member of the ExcommuniDate team as we talk about losing religion and rebuilding identity. Laz shares his story of growing up Catholic, navigating teenage parenthood, finding community i...

Austin and Jessa dive headfirst into the world of reality TV, starting with Secret Lives of Mormon Wives , where the scandals are messy and the friendships are paper-thin. We break down the Taylor Frankie Paul soft swinging scandal, viral TikTok drama, and the beauty standards running wild in Mormon culture. We also get real about deeper topics like domestic violence, social media pressure, and ho...

Do we truly have free will, or are our choices carefully shaped by the systems around us? Austin and Jessa unpack how high demand religions manipulate choice, creating the illusion of agency. They explore how shame, guilt, cultural norms, and community pressure shape decision-making. They examine the emotional costs of belonging, the subtle difference between emotional coercion and external contro...

Jessa grew up Mormon in Utah. Nikki grew up not Mormon in Utah. Austin didn’t grow up in Utah at all. Together, they unpack what it means to come of age in a place steeped in LDS culture. From navigating ward culture and family expectations to dating and parenting in a highly religious environment, this episode explores how location, belief, and identity collide in unexpected ways.  Follow us on:...

Jessa and Austin go head-to-head in a red flag showdown, sharing and scoring each others red flags by their level of red flagginess. From phone addiction and food snobbery to plastic surgery takes and hobby obsessions, nothing is off-limits. They break down which red flags are legit dealbreakers and which are just personal icks. Who brought the biggest red flag? Stick around to find out who wins....

A former Jehovah’s Witness pioneer joins us to share her story of leaving the faith. She opens up about the exhausting demands of life as a pioneer, the emotional cost of door-to-door evangelism, and the trauma of being part of a system that mishandles abuse and enforces shunning. We also explore her experience navigating dating and family expectations after leaving the faith, how other religions...

Leave your shoes – and sanctity – at the door and join us for this conversation with Vishakha (Vi), who grew up in India and moved to the United States at age 19. Raised in Hindu traditions, she talks about what happens when religion and culture intermingle, especially on the journey to love. We explore how societal and gender roles engrained in her Hindu upbringing impacted her biracial, interfai...

How can you show up in your family relationships when you’re not able to express your truest self? That’s exactly the question we explore in this episode. We’re joined by Bianca, who opted out of some core beliefs of her Catholic upbringing as a young adult, leaving behind a rift in her family relationships. She talks about balancing faith and science, finding love outside of her religion and the...

On this episode, Melissa Frey joins the show to share her firsthand experience with the Christian church and its chase for chastity, especially in young women. She talks about the overwhelming guilt she felt when she had sex before marriage, casting off the patriarchal purity culture indoctrinated in her by faith and family. It was a decision that cost her dearly, but taught her valuable lessons a...

Caitlin Torres Graham regularly works with people who are grieving, whether that’s coming out, loss, death or, you guessed it, leaving a high-demand religion. As a trauma-informed art therapist, Caitlin works particularly with those grappling with their queer identity for the first time. Leaving behind a conservative religion has a lot of parallels and can leave behind a lot of trauma and fear.  O...

What happens when your faith and sexuality collide? In this powerful episode, Jordan shares his journey of embracing his queer identity while navigating a high-demand Mormon upbringing. Discover how he grappled with a mixed-orientation marriage, confronted religious expectations, and ultimately chose authenticity over doctrine. From the suffocating closet of secrecy to the liberating process of le...

What does it take to rebuild your identity after leaving a high-demand religion? Austin and Jessa sit down with Alleia Davila, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at See the Wonder LLC , to explore the messy, empowering journey of rediscovering who you are. They dive into navigating relationships, breaking free from ingrained beliefs, finding authentic self-expression, and overcoming shame tied to r...

Austin and Jessa dive into the complexities of dating across faith lines, sharing personal experiences and challenges faced when navigating relationships with differing beliefs. Austin discusses the importance of communication, respect, and setting boundaries in interfaith relationships, while offering insights on maintaining a healthy partnership despite cultural or religious differences. Jessaly...

Cupid has no creed—and no remorse for those flying solo on Valentine’s Day. But what happens when you’re not just single, but also navigating life after leaving a high-demand religion?  In this special episode, Jessa and Austin unpack the unique challenges of facing the "Day of Love" without the built-in community, expectations, and pressures of faith. From tackling loneliness and hyper-...

What do “birth control shorts,” septum piercings, and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives have in common? They’re all part of the messy, liberating journey of leaving high-demand religions and facing the ever-terrifying “s” word: stigma. In this episode, Jessa and Austin dive into the social stigmas faced by individuals who step away from high-demand faiths. Jessa shares her personal experiences, unp...