Every Number One Ever

Today is one of those episodes that might give you whiplash. I should say that this episode was recorded before the 16th of July and thus we don't make reference to certain events around our second artist. Plus we step on an aural boobie trap!

Yes yes yes! We're back with more silly titles and sillier "banter" (horrible word). In fact, "bants" is a word for the lowest echelon of humanity. If you participate in "bants" then you are officially dead to us. Sorry, where was I... Oh yeah. Its ENOE!

This week, in between the music chat, we talk about the lost computer wars (Amstrad), a bit of East is East, the strange history of Gregorian chanting in pop music, and lovely ol' Bernard Cribbins gets a look in. Plus the usual nonsense. 

Hark... do you hear it... on the wind... the faint chiming of bells and a whiff of trademan's tea. It also get a bit creepy, a bit stupid, and we move from one shore to another. Trust me, it'll make sense once you've listened to it.

Here at ENOE Towers the airconditioning has totally packed in, Sigourney Weaver is running through the vents with a flame throwers (there aren't aliens, she's just bored), and the fancy zip tap has broken. We're sweltering! But we soldier on through the heatwave to bring you some spicy content, some serious chat, and a new sting that'll be making a regular appearance in the coming weeks.

There is a lot of walk of boys bits here, for which we would apologise... except we shan't. And some poop too. Its all a bit lavatorial this week. Sorry not sorry. Hashtag shan't.

Well dear listener, allow me to give you an inside look at what goes on with the nuclear powered production line here at ENOE Towers. One of our number does the editing, and another one of us deals with the online aspects (scheduling etc.). When I do this part, I check the notes that ML has left for me. Today's notes for this episode simply state "LM doesn't like a butt plug". I do not understand...

I think its fair to say that this is one of the least focused, rambling... shall we say "exploratory" episodes we've ever produced. The tangents are plentiful and distended. Somewhere amongst it all we do get the job done, but its a journey. Maybe pack a snack for the road?

Roll up! Roll up! That’s right folks. Step right up and witness the most incredibly, jawslackingly, uppity, pretentious title we’ve ever managed as a show. Trust Craig and Liam to argue to this degree of absurdity. We also talk about music too. So we’ve got that going for us.

In which our intrepid heroes encounter very grim 1970s metaphors for women, Liam turns on himself, we hear about being sick in a bed, and someone might come in like a demolition device. or not. We simply don't know.

This show is sometimes like being in a gaslighting relationship. Half the time when you expect great stuff, we're left with mediocrity, and other times just when you think all hope is lost... THIS happens.

Boom! Wham! Thwipnk! This is an episode that blew us out of the water. Repetition? You betcha! Shock twist and turns? Oh most definitely sir. Plus we talk "The Troubles", the absolute boredom of a certain glam star's release history, and the tyranny of Mr Whippy!

We're off to a sexy start this week, before we're hit in midships by a biggy! Oh my gosh. Did... did that actually happen?! It was hiding in plain sight all along and no one knew.

So. Before you listen I do need to warn you about the use of the word "sexy" here. The word occurs frequently and firmly throughout this week's episode. ENOE Towers take no responsibility for the bile and splenetic that such a word inspires in our listeners. Plus Craig enjoys a music video too much.

We're keeping it topical this week. We discuss the latest astronaut (as The Simpsons taught us "the driver is essentially ballast"); a long-passed choreographer with overly coiffed hair; re-encounter 'the chin'; mention Ocean's 11l; and we hear possibly the worst piece of music the pod has EVER had.

After a minor hiatus, the security staff have turned off all the alarms, and we're allowed to leave the muster area (just opposite, by the bins at the local Costa) and return to the hallowed halls of ENOE Towers. This episode is filled with predictions, booms, drugs, capitalism, and discord (in all its forms). Let normal service be resumed.

Just a quick bit of info for you. We'll be back NEXT WEEK ladles and jellyspoons!

We've managed to do this every single week for two and a half years without let up. Unfortunately real life has finally found us and we've need to take a short sabbatical. We'll resume our regular scheduled programming very soon. However, in the interim we've been sifting through the detritus of the first 25 shows to bring you a "Best of" and "Rest of" from our formative weeks. See you guys soon,...

OOPSY! You weren't supposed to see (hear) that. We have now uploaded the proper, fit for public consumption version of the show. Original blurb: Did you know Ray Liotta has died? No, neither did Liam. It is certainly a day of firsts too. Craig pronounces THAT word correctly. There's other stuff in there too, some music bits occasionally. You know, just keeping it varied.

In this episode, Matt will not rest and will not relent until Clock are given due consideration and appreciation. Once that's out of the way, we then get down to business with an encounter with the nation's favourite monkey, Craig continue's to strafe indiscriminately at the Popeye movie, and Liam threatens to lick people again. Plus some music in there too. And sorry, its a BUMPER episode this we...

In which our intrepid heroes encounter some novelty nonsense, a gay anthem (yes it is!), and get some massive heavy hitters in our picks of the week. There are still terrors lurking in the dark depths of pop music history. What else will get an airing this week?

In which Craig wants to get ploughed, we discovery who has the most leathery appendage, and we embark on a short trip to Faliraki to find the source of the #ffj. Plus, the usual nonsense and some music gets discussed in there at some point too.

Its week like this week when one has to wonder if we're really doing god's work in helping us all towards the light, or if the devil really does make work for idle hands? Do you subscribe the irenaean or augustinian theodicies of podcasting? Have I properly lost the plot? Likely.

In which our heroes encounter a toilet on an album cover, have a little sing song, bemoan mental health, make jokes in binary, and ask the eternal question: will we get another cucumber castle? Listen, and find out. Plus, its a weirdly one episode. Some might say specially extended. We say specially distended.

Is this some Simon Cowell-inspired version of Groundhog Day? Are we all doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past? Or by understanding history can we avoid the fate of our pop music forebears (growl x4)? Or maybe its just a podcast where three lads chat rubbish about pop music and summarily admit or dismiss all the UK number one singles? Probably that one right?