Every Coach Needs A Coach

This is one of those quotes that the ‘state farm insurance’ commercials that “stop you from becoming your parents” that hangs on a wall in your house and has no need to be there. I saw this in TJ Maxx years ago (maybe college), and it has hung on a canvas print with me everywhere I go. Now it’s hanging in my office. It falls nicely in line with the quote from Dr. Bonner I gave you yesterday. If yo...

One of my favorite college professors and good friend finished an e mail to me with this line when I told her I’d be transferring colleges. As a 21 year old college kid chasing ‘success’ in my academic, athletic, personal and career goals, I had never stopped to contemplate what ‘success’ really looked like. Conventionally, success is money, respect, good relationships, a husband, a career, higher...

 

“A simple act of gratitude”  John Kralik was an LA based attorney with a crappy life. He couldn’t afford to pay his employees, he was overweight, overworked, on his 2nd divorce, living in a small apartment with no air conditioning. On New Years Day, he decided he was going to write a thank you note, handwritten and sent through the mail, every day of the year. John said that writing the thank...

One of my favorite games to play is ‘This is good because…’  I don’t remember where I picked it up, but I’m grateful to the person who showed it to me since it’s gotten me through a lot of difficult situations and times I found it really, really hard to find the good in something.  Next time you’re in a situation where you are frustrated and feel discouraged, challenge yourself to finish...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5085955/ This is a narrative written by Dr. John Kelly from the Journal Clinical Orthopedics and Related Research. He discusses how gratitude can rewire the brain when it has good feelings flowing through it. He says, “The brain can literally be rewired to more easily transmit circuits associated with generation of good feelings. A willful and deliberat...

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” - Meister Eckhart I heard a priest preach this during a homily the Sunday before Thanksgiving when I was in middle school or high school. I took it to heart then and am reminded of it daily. I start every prayer with “Dear God, Thank you”, and sometimes that’s it. Usually I name something specific, or I follow it with “...for the o...

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. “Gratitude is pausing to notice and appreciate the things that we often take for granted , like having a place to live, food, clean water, friends, family, even computer access. It's taking a moment to reflect on how fortunate we are when something good happens — whether it's a small thing or a big thing.” -...

During Covid last year, every day was unpredictable. We were supposed to play the team on Saturday, and Friday afternoon got news that they were not able to play us. We had gone about 10 days without playing a game, and our kids were really looking forward to having one. It happened to be the week of Halloween, and my team had done Halloween theme week.  That practice, they all came in costum...

Roy Kent was one of soccer’s most outstanding players. When he retired, he returned to coaching his old team. While watching his successor have a rut during the season, he decided he needed to remind Issiac why he played. So he took Issiac MacAdoo to his home town inside a cage to play soccer, the same place he’d go if he himself got into a rut. At first Issiac was skeptical of the caliber of play...

Lewis Howes rides a scooter to and from his office because it’s FUN! He creates time to play in his day because it’s important for creativity, stress relief, and longevity. Fun can look different to everyone. What’s fun for some is NOT fun for others. Whatever your fun looks like, DO IT! https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/kidspost/what-makes-sports-fun-according-to-this-study-winning-isnt-th...

Fun - at soccer practice every day, we structure it typically as 1) conditioning 2) skill work we need for our game as a team 3) FUN. I always end on something fun, and I got that from Coach Wooden who did the same thing in his practices.  https://www.sportscasting.com/why-did-the-ncaa-ban-dunking-for-10-years https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0071437924/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_image?ie=U...

Maybe not the world in our cases, but certainly a kid or two, or maybe even the whole team.  How deep is the fun you’re having? Do you have kids who are comfortable enough within your program to relax? To trust you? They must trust you and each other in order to let their guard down enough to have what’s referred here to as ‘deep fun’.  Think about a dog who trusts his owner and the envi...

Randy Pauch wrote and delivered ‘The Last Lecture’, when he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I highly encourage you to read it and watch it. It’s moving and has a lot of good lessons throughout it. One of the lessons he emphasizes is it have fun. The whole lecture is phenomenal, one of the stories I remember from it is that Randy and his team of college students who were studying virt...

Definition:  enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure Sports should be FUN. We have such an advantage as coaches in that our players generally WANT to be doing the thing we’re doing with them! Think about the average kid’s life.  Wake up (on mom and dad’s terms), eat (whatever mom and dad feed them), go to school (mandatory), do their homework (also mandatory, and usually alone), d...

Once upon a time there was a king who was unhappy. He had everything he wanted, but felt unfilfilled. One day walking aroud the kingdom, he came upon a street cleaner who was whistling and appeared to really be enjoying his day. The king looked at him funny, but figured maybe he was just having a good day, so he left him alone. A few days later he saw the same street cleaner , just as happy a...

In 1961 John F Kennedy gave a speech before Congress, regarding America's sights to land on the moon. On May 25, President Kennedy challenged Americans to rally behind his call to put a man on the moon. What he said was "If I were to say, my fellow citizens , that we shall send to the moon 240,000 miles away from the control station in Houston a giant rocket more than 300 feet tall, the length of...

Every year at my player meeting in my parent meeting, everyone gets a one page handout. I have three expectations for each group, coaches, players, parents. The first they all have in common, and that is to be an example. I want our parents to make decisions that they would want their own children to make, I want our coaches to behave in such a way that we’d be okay if our athletes behaved that wa...

“I hope you do not let anyone else’s expectations direct the course of your life.”  ― Julianne Donaldson  This quote stood out to me because we need to have expectations for our lives, for our own seasons, and for our own programs. I've said it before, if you try to be the best New England Patriots, or New York Yankees, or Los Angeles Lakers, the best you'll be is the second best patriot...

“All of your problems in your business can be solved if you’d only set and manage expectations” - Jerry Durham  Jerry is a business coach for physical therapist, who specifically works with the front desk staff offices. He specializes in helping people reduce cancels and no-shows by setting the expectation on that first phone call of the patients responsibilities, and of the facilities respon...

Expectations “Expect” definition: to consider probable or certain/ assurance If we can set and manage expectations of ourselves, our players, and our parents, we can establish a foundation for common ground. I have found in my life a lot of disputes and arguments stem from a basis of misunderstood expectations. Everything from, “You didn’t take the garbage out” to “your homework is due today” to “...

In a small Italian town, hundreds of years ago, a small business owner owed a large sum of money to a loan-shark. The loan-shark was a very old, unattractive looking guy that just so happened to fancy the business owner’s daughter. He decided to offer the businessman a deal that would completely wipe out the debt he owed him. However, the catch was that we would only wipe out the debt if he could...

Once upon a time there was an old king. He was loved by everyone in his kingdom, he clearly cared for them, making sure they had safety, clean food and water, and an environment that they could thrive in. But sadly, the king's time had come to an end, and he knew that his grandson would be his successor.   His grandson wanted to lead the kingdom just like his grandfather did, and carry o...

In his book Win The Crowd, Steven Cohen talks about decisiveness and moving with a definitive purpose. He asks the reader to do this experiment: With your right hand pick up a pencil on the right side of your desk. Now reach across your body to your left side and place the pen down on your desk somewhere off to the left. It doesn't matter where. Just place it somewhere on the left side of the desk...

decisions are made based on perception and information  for players - looking at a painting and tracking eye movements. what we see gives us cues. when people were asked to guess the subject’s in a painting’s age, they scrutinized their faces. When asked to scrutinize the subject’s wealth, they looked at their clothes, subjects’ eyes moved in different patterns depending on what they nedded t...