Enneagram and Marriage

In this two-for-one episode, you get a chance to first learn soul care from coaching duo Travis and Jessica Vangsnes (8-4 pairing), who are both trauma-informed E + M Certified Coaches with skills in emotional intimacy building. First, take a deeper dive into what soul care is and how you can attune with yourself in the heart, mind, and body individually and together with these trauma-informed exp...

In this fun Christmas movie episode, we take a break with our favorite holiday drink to allow cinematic mastery to woo us into a healthier intimate dance of relationship together in middle marriage. Here, Christa is joined by Hannah Hardin, 4 as we talk about a favorite family and more realistic middle-marriage movie to watch during the holidays (and a modern nod to It's a Wonderful Life), The Fam...

If you're deeply hurt but you keep moving, but you’re locked up with resentment, you and your spouse and family can feel it on an internal level. It robs you and threatens your felt sense of safety and regulation, and it chokes you of joy, peace, and compassion. Today in this experiential episode where we discuss forgiveness and experience a forgiveness practice together, Christa takes time with t...

Join us for laughs and love as we walk and talk together through the beautiful Little Women story and find the beautiful virtues in this epic holiday tale mini-episode. If you love this book or movie, you'll love leaning in with us as we go type by type in this lighthearted conversation, covering Jo, Meg, Amy, and Beth, along with Professor Bhaer and Theodore Lawrence. We hope this episode brings...

It's never easy to face squarely that the person we signed up to marry has changed - or worse, that we've changed and no longer feel the same level of desire together. In these critical middle seasons of marriage stages of fighting for your family and partnership, we need every tool we can get to add joy and decrease resentment together. Join Christa and world-renowned couples therapist and author...

Once we pull back the curtain under our conflicts and see what's hindering us, we can work on our issues with one another - that is if we're emotionally regulated. In this quick episode, Christa will help to stabilize you and your conflicts further by helping you open up your relationship window of tolerance. Don't miss this regulating episode right here! Get Christa's book, "The Enneagram in Marr...

Today we’re joined on the pod by Drs. Bill and Kristin Gaultierre, psychologists and spiritual directors who help us to find one another's gifts amidst the rubble of soul wounds as we learn to offer Christ's compassionate healing to one another. They do this with us with structure but also gentleness and care as a mature 1 & 2 pairing. You won't regret taking the time to dig underneath the anger,...

85% of adults will have experienced a traumatic event by the time they’re 18, which means that virtually all married individuals need good ways to cope with trauma. In today’s brief episode, Christa walks you through five tried-and-true methods for walking through traumatic conversations and situations in marriage, with as much resiliency as possible. She'll share tips for working through your tri...

The last thing you want are holiday arguments between you or your extended family to carry forward to future generations and this week's shows are aimed at helping you to process, love, and set the boundaries you need. We welcome expert and author, Courtney J. Burg, author (Thomas Nelson, 12/12/23, Loyal to a Fault: How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left You Hurting) to the pod...

In this episode, join Christa and Melody Hardin, Enneagram Nine as they walk through each Enneagram type through the lens of Marvel characters. Join us as we hack out each type in nuanced detail with some superhero fun typing Iron Man, Black Widow, Loki, Bucky, Roadie, Dr. Strange and more and bring joy but also meaningful insights as we enjoy a lighter moment on this Hallo-week episode! Get Chris...

We get scared as humans when we feel our pair bond is threatened and today's episode is designed to empower you to feel both safe and loved together, type by type. Listen to tips for your partner of each type and find not just goals but systems to carefully place these specific tips into actionable steps so you can truly begin thriving more and more together, starting today! Get my book, "The Enne...

To find our truest mission, it's not only important to find our personal gifts, but there's a deeper joy in marriage in finding collective missions, too, not just to be self-serving as a couple. Here in this episode, Christa helps you to find synchronization together with your partner, to encourage growth in one another as well as celebrate one another's gifts and struggles. She brings her husband...

Though each of us is unique, today on this E + M short, we're talking about the three most common reasons why couples cite divorce and ways to prevent your own relationship from becoming a passive casualty. One of the main ways we will keep this episode hope-filled is that we're also sharing tools for the specific timelines where issues tend to crop up and take down 43-44% of married couples. Don'...

When we're not honest with our spouse and with God about what's actually going on inside, we bring that darkness and the layers of hiding to our spouses and families. Whether you're hiding from each other because you feel hopeless, angry, hurt, or believe that being honest will drive you even farther away from your goals of connection, this is a MUST-LISTEN episode guiding you and your relationshi...

Finding your marriage mission just isn’t possible without finding your own authentic God-given gifting, a gift others may have missed in your life. Today Christa intimately weaves her own stories and encouragements for you together on the podcast to give you a lift in finding your authentic self before God. This episode can help you to destabilize shame in your life and find your gifting again wit...

Today we take a peek into the soul of the Enneagram in Marriage book in a heartfelt conversation with Christa and the Baker Books executive editor Christa worked with on the pages of it, Stephanie Duncan Smith (Slant Letter, @stephanieduncansmith on Instagram). Stephanie and Christa discuss not only the heart of the mission of E + M in the pages of the book but also private writing as soul care, a...

When you're in seasons of shadow, it often feels like your spouse is the antihero and you're not only the hero but the author, writing your own story and having to rely on whatever methods you need to survive. In the new "Enneagram in Marriage" book, we remember together that it's not so much about casting judgment on one person wholly as it is about discovering the emotional backstory behind the...

Today, our biggest hearts for you are for you to reach into the pages of Christa's brand-new book that launched today, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing, which LAUNCHED TODAY! This is a book dedicated to helping you to grow healthier in the ways you shine together in your relationship and yes, it's finally here for you to order wherever you buy books...

As Christa prepares to launch her new book into the world tomorrow, she draws strength from one of her greatest heroes, J.R.R. Tolkien, reminding listeners of the absolute necessities we can learn for our own life's epics on the shadowy roads of life and relationships. Join us as we share about the week's adventures here at E + M as well as what you came for, an epic saga of psychology, literature...

The shadows and stresses each of you bring to marriage have volumes of family lore behind them, backing them up and urging you each on to survival in your own nuanced ways. When the honeymoon is over, and these rhythms tend to re-emerge and spousal stories converge and collide into differing rhythms in middle seasons of marriage, how can you stand united? Today Christa invites you on a brief and g...

Many of us from faith circles have been asked questions about the Enneagram origins and whether they are compatible with a Christian or even logical scientific worldview. Today we take time to process this question in detail with Christa's husband Wes Hardin, MA, who has a degree in biology and philosophy as well as a Master's in Theology from Wheaton College, along with his medical degree as a PA...

When we get busy and overwhelmed in marriage, talking about what’s deep and emotional may feel like the least desirable option. Yet we all know that hiding and stonewalling are the very worst things we can do together, especially during the busiest years with school-aged kids underfoot. Today we talk with Juilliard-trained creative artist and oboist Dr. Meredith Hite Estevez, Enneagram Four, who o...

Although most parents desire a deep relationship spiritually with God, it's easy to leave it behind along with self-care and marriage care during the busiest seasons of the parenting era. Kayla Craig, author, wife, mom of five, and creator of Liturgies for Parents, has comforted thousands of souls with her prolific words on prayerfully parenting together through the very hardest of days. Christian...

The work we do across personality types often has its very foundation in how our thinking tends to shift in stressful moments. In this E + M mini, Christa walks you through all the ways our mental fixations can attack us in life and marriage. To combat the dysregulating thinking, we also walk together through the holy ways of thinking of each type (the Enneagram holy ideas) and release our biggest...

Parenting well with intention has so many great benefits for your child, but also takes its toll if you forget to take care of yourself. Yes, dysregulated and exhausted parents need support, too, and as we walk through the parenting era together, we have one of our favorite guests back to guide us, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, psychologist, burnout support expert Instagram leader, and beloved Enneagram 9 (9...