Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation As I reflect on the ideas in this podcast, I realize they all point to the same underlying principle: the importance of creating a gap in my financial life. That gap is the distance between what I earn and what I spend, between the plans I make and the unexpected events life inevitably brings. True freedom isn't about having unlimited wealth; it's...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What is it about May that makes time feel both five months long and two days short? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette is back with me to unpack the season we now call Maycember. The graduations, the finals, the last concerts, the last games, the recitals, stacked on field trips, stacked on state testing. The season that asks senior ‑ level parents to be in t...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What happens when you spend all your patience at work and come home with nothing left for the conversations that actually matter? If you're a senior professional managing a demanding career and a growing family, you know this tension. You hold complexity all day. By evening, you're running on fumes. Today, I unpack Morgan Housel's idea of saving li...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation What's the difference between being busy and being afraid? For many families who earn well and work hard, the two look identical from the outside. Today, I share something that's been sitting with me since losing a client earlier this year. It changed how I think about the financial decisions that busy families keep not making, and why the problem...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation  Have you ever looked at where your money actually goes and felt a little uncomfortable? Not because you were irresponsible — but because the numbers didn't match the values you'd say out loud? That gap is what this episode is about. Morgan Housel draws a line between the science of spending and the art of spending. The science is teachable — budge...

Work with Paul: Schedule a 30-minute conversation When is the last time you had an uninterrupted thought? Not about logistics. Not about money. About your actual life and whether the direction you're running is still the direction you chose? Today, I want to explore why the most productive thinking rarely happens when we're at full speed, and what that costs us as parents and as people trying to m...

Have you ever noticed that when things feel uncertain, you already seem to know how it's going to turn out? You're not predicting. You're confirming. In this episode, I explore why the story you're already telling about your financial life shapes every piece of information you take in and how that filter quietly drives some of the most expensive decisions families make. I walk through two real fam...

Why do so many people feel financially behind — even when the numbers say they're not? Often, the problem isn't the plan. It's the expectation. Charlie Munger, near the end of his life, gave a one-sentence answer that cuts straight to the point: reasonable expectations. In this conversation, I look at the gap between the life we imagined and the life we're living, and what happens when we never ex...

Why did a three-minute sideline conversation with another parent almost make me rethink my entire financial plan? This week, I'm digging into why the financial stories we absorb from the people around us, the casual mentions, the social media posts, the dinner table comments, are doing more to shape our decisions than any spreadsheet or data point ever could. I share what I see when families come...

How much of what you believe about money, success, and parenting is actually true, and how much is just where and when you happened to grow up? This week's episode digs into the uncomfortable questions we rarely ask ourselves about our own blind spots, and gives you a practical filter to sort values worth protecting from scripts worth questioning. I share stories about the gap between what we thin...

Why does bad news feel so convincing while good news feels like a sales pitch? If you've ever caught yourself doom-scrolling financial headlines and then second-guessing your entire plan, you're not alone. In this episode, I explore why pessimism sounds smart, why optimism has been the better long-term bet, and how busy parents can filter out the noise without burying their heads in the sand. I sh...

You made the plan. You ran the numbers. You did everything right. So why does it feel like you're one unexpected expense away from starting over? This week, I am focusing on what happens when the plan stops working, and why that might not be the disaster you think it is. I share a story about a family whose perfect five-year projection fell apart after an unexpected health diagnosis, and what they...

What happens when the opportunities we give our kids become the pressure we put on ourselves? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, our resident therapist expert, is back with us to dig into the gap between what we want for our families and what our families actually want. It started with a cruise my triplets didn't enjoy, a conversation with another dad at a basketball game, and an NHL hockey player from our...

What happens when you're doing everything right on paper but still feel one car repair away from a financial meltdown? Or when you're fully present with your kids today but have no idea how you'll pay for college in five years? Most families I work with fall into one of these two camps, and both are fragile in different ways. This week, I'm exploring Morgan Housel's idea that the best way to deal...

I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do? There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations. Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our...

You're earning more than ever, but do you actually control your time? Most families discover that financial success came at a cost they didn't expect to pay. In this episode, I explore the real dividend money provides: not fancy stuff, but time autonomy. I share the pattern I see in families who've achieved financial success but lost control of their schedules, and why the finish line with kids at...

Ever feel stuck between wanting to start something new and actually making it happen?   Whether it's launching a business, updating a resume, or initiating a difficult conversation, something often gets in the way—and it's not always what we think. We often label our hesitation as "roadblocks," but more often than not, those roadblocks are actually places we hide from fear—fear of the unknown, fai...

Have you ever wondered why two families with nearly identical financial situations can end up in completely different places? It's not because the math was wrong, but because of how they responded when it mattered. Today, I am digging into why financial success has less to do with what we know and more to do with what we actually do when we're staring down competing priorities. I walk through two...

How do you put a value on memorable experiences? After reading a moving LinkedIn post from my friend Samantha Russell, who lost her husband and is now raising three kids on her own, I found myself reflecting on my own family's journey. Our triplets started high school this year and our plus-one daughter tackles her own busy calendar. With the chaos of managing busy schedules, there is a temptation...

Why does it feel like everyone else can afford the vacation you can't? You make good money. You're doing everything right. But your Instagram feed is full of beach photos while you're staring at a windchill warning and wondering what you're missing. In this episode, I talk about the trap of comparing your entire financial situation to someone else's highlight reel. I share a recent conversation wi...

Why do most resolutions fail by mid-January?    Maybe because  we're  starting in the wrong place. Before we can sustain any meaningful change, we need to know why  we're  doing it in the first place.   Dr. Jennifer Dragonette and I dig into the difference between purpose and  objectives , and why confusing the two can leave you feeling empty even when you hit your goals. We talk through George Ki...

Today's economy doesn't just create wealth. It creates the ability to show off wealth, and that visibility inflates expectations so quickly that even high-achieving parents often feel behind, overwhelmed, or financially stretched. Today, I break down why expectations rise faster than real progress, how that impacts family decisions, and why the small behaviors you repeat consistently are far more...

I came across a Wall Street Journal article about families making over $250,000, putting them in the top 10% of all household incomes in the country, who still don't feel wealthy. One family earning $350,000 (in the top 4%) owns two homes, has three kids in club sports, and can't shake the feeling that they're struggling. In this episode, I explore why modern life makes it so hard to feel like you...