Elephant Graveyard

Abuda reflects on his adventurous life, highlighting a significant experience climbing Mount Fuji in 1996. Despite numerous accomplishments, the climb taught him profound lessons about Japan's culture and the interconnectedness of nature and society. He also discusses his chronic pain, likening it to "dying one piece at a time," and shares his struggle with managing pain and the emotio...

In this episode, Abuda discusses his experience with chronic pain, which began at 17 after a car accident that fractured his facial bones. He details the various types of chronic pain he endures, including migraines and daily headaches, and the strategies he uses to manage them, such as ibuprofen, yoga, and mindfulness meditation. A buda emphasizes the importance of acceptance and adaptation, shar...

s2e2 the retreat Ever wondered what happens at a mindfulness retreat? So did Abuda. In the special episode, Abuda, the host of "The Elephant's Graveyard," shares his experiences at a mindful cooking retreat at Plum Village in France. He discusses his long-standing admiration for Thich Nhat Han and his anxiety about attending the retreat, which he attributes to post-traumatic retreat sy...

In the second season of his podcast, " The Elephant's Graveyard ," host Abuda reflects on his life and the podcast's initial focus on death, which stemmed from a catastrophic incident that left him bedridden for six months. He now realizes that the "Elephant's Graveyard" is not a place to prepare for death but to live alone, free from the influence of others for the fir...

"Today, I received notice that a friend of mine from high school died, died of a stroke. It was somebody who I had known early in life, but until something happened, we didn't really have a connection. In 1979 my senior year in high school, six of my friends in 1979 my senior year in high school, six of my friends and classmates died. Now that might not mean much in a large city school, bu...

Abouda has spent a lifetime split between a core desire for the peace that a monk's life represents and the fullness of a family life. After spending the morning doing chores, physiotherapy and contemplating the moment, he suddenly realizes, "I am a monk!  I live in the elephant's graveyard, basically, as a monk does.  I contemplate. I spend time in the moment. I do my work. I have my...

To go back to the beginning, February 15 1994 (sic) around midnight. I am in my office in downtown Hong Kong, with the cold barrel of a pistol in my mouth, one bullet in the chamber, and all intention of ending this incarnation as I was thinking at the time.  I had convinced myself that I had tried everything and that the last person I reached out to told me to just go. That I would just restart a...

I am a criminal. Moreover, I'm an international criminal. To survive, to be able to live on a small amount I have with the conditions I have: - I steal power from the sun, which apparently is the property of the electric company. - I steal water from the mountains, which is once again the property of the water company. - I live on land that is publicly owned, free. - I grow my own medicines. A...

Most people believe that as you get older, the best place for you is a city, and that's just wrong. Yesterday I went out into nature for the first time in 60 days. I've been basically locked inside, with the furthest I get is onto a terrace in front of my cottage. My leg, my hip and my lower back are basically useless with excruciating pain.  But yesterday I had a good day. An old friend o...

I faked my death. I didn't know that my children would be able to watch me die without trauma. I didn't know that they would not try to change my mind. I didn't know whether doctors would force me to do things I don't believe in. The only way for me to control all of this was to leave, essentially to die for them. I had wanted to do it in a mutually agreed fashion, but even after 1...