Earwash

In part 2 of our groundbreaking miniseries exploring the tumultuous first months of Jennifer Cash's term on the Bexley Parish School Board, Jennifer talks about abolishing school uniforms, free expression, and what the significance of a boy in a pink shirt is.

In part 1 of our groundbreaking miniseries exploring the tumultuous first months of Jennifer Cash's term on the Bexley Parish School Board, Jennifer talks about taking charge, making change, and how Big Clock tried to put a stop to her agenda.

A delve into Douglas's notebook gives us such unexpected delights as rudimentary side-toes, spider ticklers and carbon neutral witch burnings. There is no connection. There is no context. There is only distilled essence of a messy subconscious mind.

The Earwig is back from his mission of vengeance, and this little insect has a big story to tell.

This week we are joined by omni-critic Horace Perrault, who has experienced some rather unusual symptoms of COVID

In an attempt to counteract the ongoing bleakness of the world, this week's Earwash is excerpts of nonsense from Douglas's notebook. If you squint your ears and turn your head just so, some of it could almost sound profound.

Brought to dire financial need by the cost of unclogging a cat's crystal-ridden bladder, Earwash for the first time contains *shuddder* an advertisement. But what is it an ad for? Why did a sinister man with a sinister accent give Douglas the ad on a cassette tape? And why did this entire transaction take place on the platform at Ringwood station? Onle one of these can be answered - it's an ad for...

Pop this week's Earwash into your ears. It's a short but juicy podcast bursting with stories of things bursting in strange and upsetting ways, guaranteed to cleanse your ears from the sound of the smell of cat wee

This week Douglas is joined by country musician Bruce Plank for a few drinks and a chat covering such topics as which athletes Bruce would turn into worms, unusual ways to celebrate Pride Month, and the secret ingredients of Bruce's homemade moonshine

In a break from Earwash's usual weirdness and filth, today's episode is almost edifying and educational: a collection of interesting words from Douglas's notebooks, recorded at different times but conjoined into the time and space of a single episode. And if you can think of a word the means 'obscene' that starts with W, please let Douglas know

In an attempt to break into the lucrative and low-cost/effort podcast genre of 'Three White Guys Talking About Nothing', this week you will hear the pilot episode of Douglas's own contribution to the form, provisionally and unfortunately titled 'Male Bondage Time'

The Earwig's been acting oddly for the last few weeks (I know he's always odd, but i mean even odder than usual), so I thought I'd bring him in for a chat. I was not prepared for his tragic tale of how six shapely legs and a trio of cerci led to his downfall. Listen and muse on the fickleness of love and silverfish

Celebrate Earwash's second birthday with a relaxed saunter through the oddities of Douglas's notebook. Definitely doesn't include any surprising details about the personal life of the new Pope

In the aftermath of the 2025 Australian Federal election, eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular joins us to share the artistic outpourings the election has inspired in him. By Jonathan's standards, it's quite wholesome

Eroticist Jonathan Crepuscular joins us today to give a surprisingly nuanced analysis of the number of phalluses on the Bayeaux Tapestry and their significance. Includes an eye-watering alternative way that King Harold may have met his end

We are joined today by Jennifer the American, whose political ambitions have expanded to encompass the spiritual as well as the temporal

It's omni-critic and possessor of an inscrutable pan-European accent Horace Perrault's turn to answer some Emergency Questions. Listen enthralled as the self-described greatest critic the world has ever known turns his incisive mind to the purpose of clowns, the emotional attributes of radiators and why it is better to be cold and dependable than warm and largely unused. It's either the product of...

In this episode we are joined by the Earwig, who has an unconventional solution to the Wellington millipede plague

As the deluge of earwashing this week continues, we delve once more in Douglas's notebook to hear what sort of nonsense he considers noteworthy. This episode's iteration contains running themes of of crabs, worms and Freidrich Nietzsche; in other words, a perfectly normal and unremarkable episode of this perfectly normal and not at all deeply strange podcast.

The Easter Bunny has left a large auditory egg in you podcast feed in the form of this episode of Earwash. In an appropriately Easterly ramble you will learn many things, including how best to hide Easter eggs from yourself for hunting purposes, whether Jesus was a tardigrade, and best practice for home crucifixions. Happy Easter to all, particularly invertebrates and friendly Scotsmen.

It's the Earwig's turn to answer some Emergency Questions, and although it is a strangely sushi-focussed episode, you will hear fascinating insights into how Hugh Grant became a star, what Julia Roberts had surgically removed, and why there is a sinister painting of the Earwig in the roof of my house

The hundredth episode calls for something monumental. Unfortunately, Douglas could not think of anything sufficiently monumental, so he decided not to bother. Instead, you can expect to hear 4 minutes and 13 seconds of wholesome gratitude, which is a major change from what this podcast usually is. Oh well, next episode we'll be back to the usual semi-obscene nonsense...

As we assume the brace position in readiness for whatever madness Douglas has in store to celebrate the hundredth episode of Earwash, we can at least listen to some soothing nonsense from his notebbok, and hope that the 100th episode of Earwash makes more sense than his notebooks do

After a month-long manhunt and an unplanned four-week hiatus, this episode finally contains the answers you seek - as long as those answers pertain to what on earth happened to Jonathan Crepuscular on his Valentine's Day date and why he went missing for over a month. As for why this podcast went missing for a month, though... Well, that's for me to know and you to continue to ponder.

In a lo-fi episode (which is a polite way of saying 'poor sound quality'), Douglas explains his unexplained five week absence, and makes a shocking discovery worthy of Alfred Hitchcock (which is a fancy way of saying he saw something weird out of his rear window)