Dude, That's F****d Up

Maybe Erin and Nicole are regular ol' Scrooges. Or maybe they don't like the smell of urine/vomit. Either way, Nicole and Erin agree Santa Con is not their thing - not now, not when it originated in the 70s, not ever. Lucky, this episode also features their favorite holiday tradition: it's the 2nd Annual Reading of the Sinterklaas poems! Nothing like roasting a friend with a rhyme!

Rumor has it, there was a water park in the average state of New Jersey that let you swing like Tarzan into a pool of water, shoot tennis balls at people's faces and do a full vertical loop on a waterslide. Erin and Nicole are here to tell you that ain't no myth: that's Action Park Babaaaay! Join the ladies as they recount the history of this water park, why it got shut down in the 90s (spoiler al...

What happens when you try to spread your gospel to an island of people who haven't been bothered by outsiders for 60,000ish years? An arrow to the back (literally, this isn't a bad joke punchline). This week, Erin and Nicole discuss the recent death of an American missionary on North Sentinel Island, located in the Bay of Bengal. But that's just a segue into several instances of the island slammin...

This week, Erin's husband DJ guest hosts on a very special episode of the pod! You thought Nicole talked a lot about poop? She does...but so does DJ! And speaking of guests, a reminder: make sure you read all of the reviews of that Airbnb you booked in your hometown this holiday season. And so you know we're serious, we present some of the worst Airbnb stories of all time. (This episode's rated 5...

We've all been there. You hit just the right ratio of G&Ts to several of your favorite songs played in a row and BAM! You're dancing so hard you're in danger of slipping in a pool of your own sweat. This week, Erin and Nicole discuss the biggest, most dangerous dance party to ever exist. People danced for so long and so hard, they died. Sad, but what a way to go...

Imagine, if you will, the Gathering of the Juggalos. Add a few more white people dreadlocks, subtract everyone's shoes, multiply by the largest off-beat drum circle you can think of and you have The Rainbow Gathering. It's half cult, half festival and 100% nothing Erin and Nicole ever want to be a part of.

This is a pretty standard episode, with the exception of it having a True Crime-y vibe, just in time for Halloween! Join Erin and Nicole as they discuss the details around The Borden Murders, and why everyone in that household was just about ready to murder someone.

This week, Erin and Nicole read some of your worst (and funniest) surgery-related horror stories. So I guess it's kind of on-brand for Halloween? But also, it's on-brand for the surgery Nicole is recovering from. (A Note from the Editor: Honestly, these were such a treat and very comforting in a weird way and thank you to everyone who sent one in! -Nicole)

Roughly translated from French, this week's title means "Egg and Beef." Coincidentally, both of those things are lewks Lady Gaga has donned on the red carpet. Which leads us to todays episode topic: the conspiracy theory around the death of a rising pop star and Lady Ga-Ga's own rise to fame.

Barely any business upfront and a whole lot of party (aka rosé) in the back? Must be a mulletsode! Erin and Nicole skipped the research this week to bring you some amazing listener stories while they sipped wine IN PERSON. You do not want to miss this Boss Babe Predator having, Birdshit Necklace wearing, Bloated Elvis seeing, Sisterhood of the Traveling Sex Toy sharing episode!

Erin and Nicole originally planned this episode to be a love letter to the legendary Bill Murray. He's an immensely talented actor, a whimsical human and an all around fun guy. But, as with DTFU's favorite vegetable the on-yun, humans have many layers and some are outright stinky. Anyway, we uncovered some unfortunate things and we're having a conversation.

You know it is! But this one is special. Usually, cults have some talk of a god or aliens or chakras to mask the sex stuff. But not this one - this cult is all business. Seriously, it might also be a pyramid scheme. This cult moves straight from walking in the door to "Orgasmic Meditation" to getting people to spend thousands of dollars without batting an eyelash. They are hardworking little clit...

Today, Erin and Nicole discuss a very serious issue facing Mt. Everest.  Perhaps you already know there are bodies strewn about, frozen mile markers for hopeful climbers. But what you may not know is that Mt. Everest is also covered in sh*t. Not figurative sh*t, like garbage or broken equipment, though that's there too. Literally every person who has ever made it their number one goal to climb her...

Erin and Nicole are back from the pre-prerecorded episodes and catching up on all things Baby Watch 2018! Because the ladies share everything with each other, they're also sharing it with you. Join the ladies for an up close and personal look at childbirth and the aftermath. It's a literal sh*t show.

This week, Erin and Nicole recount the high-level grifter whose grifting left a wake of hotels, restaurants, credit companies and Vanity Fair photographers with a debt yet to be repaid. How did the blonde, petite, vaguely European-accented Anna Delvey swindle all of these people? Short answer: crisp hundred dollar bills and a smile. But of course, it's more complicated than that. Visit us at dtfup...

Straight up, this episode is about weird animal penises. Mostly. I mean, there's some other weird stuff that is penis-adjacent. But for the most part, Erin and Nicole are our nature guides and we've entered animal dong territory. Shout out to all the listeners who requested this topic. What a wild ride!

"If I could turn back tiiiiiiime" I would go back to "Episode 74: Take Me to Megachurch (Part One)" and relive the moment I learned of the name "DawnCher." Blessings. If Part One of the Hillsong Megachurch two-parter was the light, fluffy, fun twin, Part Two is the dark, hairless, distressed one that ate the first twin in the womb. Weird analogy, but we'll keep it 'cause this episode is where s***...

Remember in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's, how Doc shows up looking for Audrey Hepburn and you think, "Aww, her dad!" But then you find out he's HER HUSBAND and she was 14 when he married her on that farm and then you're like "OH HELL NO." Well this week, Erin and Nicole are talking about child marriage and the laws in America that are failing to protect some youngsters. *Siiiiiiiigh* Can you a...

Ahhh, American Independence Day! The day we celebrate our victory over British tyranny a couple of centuries ago*. Get ready to blow things up, binge drink**, eat too much barbecued meats, and get hella sunburnt. July 4th also means it's time to celebrate Nicole's birthday***, and that’s even more of an excuse to party! Let’s celebrate this country and our co-host by listening to Erin and Nicole t...

Our lady, who art in movies, Sandy B thy name, is our patron saint of this week’s episode. She Was doin’ it right in 2014, when an intruder/stalker broke into her home in the middle of the night. You know why? She'd seen Panic Room (starring a young K-Stew) and she installed a "safe door." Miss Congeniality? More like, Miss THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY, MOTHER F***ER. Join Erin and Nicole as they rec...

This episode is a throwback...to the Roman Empire. Back then, you could throw a stone and hit 400 f****d up things before it even hit the ground. It'd be all ricocheting around the plaza, hitting murderers and whiny emperors and stuff. Any one of those things would have made for a great episode...and maybe someday they will. But today, the focus on a lady-herbologist who knew some thaaaangs. She k...

This whole episode can be summed up with the phrase "leave it to the experts." Let the scientists do the science stuff, let the astronauts do the astro stuff and let the podcasters do the Bigfoot's dick jokes. But these days, everything is a crap shoot and people who have zero credentials in anything are telling people the earth is flat, so f*** me, right? Might as well let a bunch of randoms try...

From their inception until the height of their career (and really, now), one band defined the decade of decadence. They drank all the drinks, did all the drugs and clogged all the drains with their long ass 80s hair. But all that hard livin' catches up to you and before you know it, you've reached your fifties, you look sixty, and your body feels like it's seventy. This week, Erin and Nicole look...

If you haven't listened to Episode 64 (Part One of the PT Barnum Two-Parter) start there. If you're all caught up, we're finally getting to the circus stuff, Dudes! Let's recap quickly, shall we? PT Barnum was what we'd call a "s***bag." He exploited a ton of people, he was a swindler and he looked nothing like Hugh Jackman. Join Erin and Nicole as they visit the next chapter in his life, where he...

PT Barnum was a show-man alright. But was he the greatest? Ummm, I guess it depends on how you define "greatest?" If by "greatest," you mean he was the most icky, opportunist, racist humbug out there, then sure. Let's call him the "greatest." Join Erin and Nicole as they eye roll their way through their first two-part episode!