Downsizing

I'll know I've finally made it when I start talking about all the "haters" in my audience.  Be sure to send all your hate mail to downsizingpod@gmail.com! Outro song: The Old Apartment - The Barenaked Ladies Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just a Dwight looking for his stapler Outro Song: Ham 'N' Egg - Tribe Called Quest Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just a husky Connor McGregor Outro song: Butterbean - The B52's Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

My therapist said she feels like she could hand me a million dollars and even then I wouldn't react.  I think that's her way of telling me I'm a bummer. Outro Song: Kombucha - Soaky Siren Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

I'm going to make merch that's just my face on a drink coaster and charge five thousand dollars for it.  Actually no, I'll charge five million for an NFT of the coaster.  No lowballers, I know what I got. Outro song: George Shrinks Theme - My Dumb Ass Logo by Joey Rizk

I've been thinking about buying a kilt.  Not a tartan one, they make these like, battle kilts that quite frankly look really comfortable.  I'm already wearing overalls everyday, I've got overall shorts that I almost fit into, a kilt isn't that much of a leap for me.  And if I get told I can't wear it I'll just complain to the news, get on tv, and then I can plug the podcast!  W...

Well hey if this whole podcasting thing doesn't work out I hear crime pays! Outro Song: Candyman - Christina Aguilera Logo by Joey Rizk

I think if I start selling merch it has to be as stupid as possible.  Like no shirts, no hoodies, only underwear, zip ties, and tea kettles.  All with the Downsizing logo, of course.  Nothing says successful business model like a sickening degree of irony. Outro song: Caillou Theme Song Remix - Attic Stein Beats Logo by Joey Rizk

Do any of you know a good kombucha recipe?  I got a starter kit, but I'm sure there's an upper limit to how good it can be.  I want to make my own, but I don't want to go around throwing a bunch of spices into a jar and end up having to drink something that tastes like watery, spicy poison.  So if you were going to give me a recipe for kombucha that tastes like that, well, don't. Ou...

Hey guys, it's me again.  I'm just wondering if you know what's cool right now.  I'm a little out of the loop.  Is it Dr. Marten's? What does based mean?  Based on what?  How old am I?  I'm in my twenties.  Yeah, no I know what was cool like two days ago I just don't know if it's the same, like, right now.  That Bill Eilish guy?  He's cool right?  Yeah, okay cool thanks, uh, chief? Bro?  Guy?

I don't know if I'm going to keep writing actual descriptions to these episodes.  I mean everything you need to know is in the title.  Maybe I'll use this section for philosophical ponderings.  For example: if you're fully clothed, and submerged in a pool, and you pee, did you pee your pants? Or did you just pee in a pool and it doesn't count because your pants are already wet? &nbs...

This week I earn myself a sociology degree merit badge by taking a look at some of the causes of obesity. The Take2 Podcast is in full swing in this episode folks, buckle up! End song: Thick Thighs - Priscilla Block Logo by Joey Rizk 

This week we switch things up a little bit and take stock of where we're at in this journey.  Also belts, furries, and McDonald's. End song: Junk Food Junkie - Larry Groce Logo by Joey Rizk

This week I started a new podcast within the podcast, Take2!  It's the podcast that tracks every time I flub a sentence and have to repeat it, often getting lost in the process.  Merch for Take2 coming soon!  As for Downsizing it's the usual, I talk a big game for a guy who isn't paying attention to anything, ever, and shoot from the hip with hot takes. Outro song: Big and Chunky -...

This week is a portion controlled episode where I discuss anime, stunts, anime, the illuminati, and the food pyramid. My English is steadily improving, but my taste in media is not!  Feast your ears on this big sucker! Outro Song: Just a Lil' Thick - Trinidad James Ft. Lil Dicky, Mystikal Podcast logo by Joey Risk

Tune in this week as I take shots at Guy Ritchie, ramble about diets, and provide an academic analysis of P90X Outro Song: My Chick Bad - Ludacris Ft. Niki Minaj Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Tune in this week to hear more doctor shit talk, as well as a food tour of all the foods that make your lip curl in disgust.  Stay until the very end to hear me come apart completely! Outro song: They Call Me Big Mamma - Big Mamma Logo by Joey Rizk

Tune in this week where I discuss some anime, some soccer (football if you're nasty), and I try to determine if I ever even spoke English in the first place.  Keep your ears peeled for "gore was scoald," a little easter egg for you! End song: I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore - The Snake Oil Willie Band Logo by Joey Rizk

This is the technical difficulty special edition of Downsizing where, from a production standpoint, I figuratively slip and fall down a muddy hill.  Along the way I discuss the history of gyms, which includes nude men, priest fights, and gymnastics. End song:  Body - Megan Thee Stallion Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Tune in this week as I talk about the intersection of drugs and pee in a scientifically illiterate state of delirium! Outro song:  Heavyweights - Fat Joe, Big Pun, 8Ball Logo by Joey Rizk

This week I talk about breaking some rules, what it takes to be a karateka, and something that almost made me throw up!   End song: Tempo - Lizzo

This week I give what turns out to be a far too brief review of my week, followed by a survey of a variety of perplexing fad diets.  Plus a staple of early podcast episodes: ads that have drastically different audio quality than the rest of the show! Enjoy!

Have you ever wanted to follow a weight loss journey of someone you don't know, completely in audio form so you can't actually see the progress?  Then this is the podcast for you!  Come along with me, Tim Down, as I try to lose 100 of my 300 pounds!  This first episode outlines my plan for weight loss, and is the first step towards me slowly unravelling as a person.