Downsizing

Usually a deja vu is a glitch in the matrix; it means they changed something.  In this case though, it's all because I changed nothing. Outro song: Eye of the Tiger - Survivor Podcast art by Joey Rizk

News flash, buddy, this episode was removed for copyright reasons and had to be reuploaded in April of 2025. Unfortunately it was removed long before then, but then again I am a flawed man. Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think if this was a video podcast it would literally kill me. Outro - My Dumbass Podcast art by Joey Rizk

This one's a doozy. Outro song: Time and Eric Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Might want to give this one a listen all the way to the end fellas. Outro Song: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just going to replace my entire diet with supplements and see how long I make it. Outro song:  Soda Pop - Britney Spears Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Can I get workers comp working remotely if I throw my back out in my living room during work hours? Outro song: POWER by B.A.P. Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to mold chakra until I can finally use lose-weight-no-jutsu. Outro song: One Piece Rap - Freshco Podcast art by Joey Rizk

If I say everything that isn't funny, the only things left to say will be funny. Outro song: I Am Very Glad, as I'm Finally Returning Back Home - Eduard Khil Podcast art by Joey Rizk

They make paper towels, but why not towel paper?  Why do I save all my good jokes for the episode description? Outro song: Meow Mix Theme Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to mix pre-workout with melatonin so I can finally win fights in my dreams. Outro song: It's Been Awhile - Staind Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Can't tell you how gutted I am about the fact that I only thought to make a joke about the V standing for "void cheque" after I finished recording. Outro song: Butter - BTS Podcast art by Joey Rizk

"I've got some good ideas for some tik toks" said the guy far too close to his thirties to be on tik tok Outro song: A Distinctive Sound - Gotye Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'd run for office if it wasn't for the fact that I put all of this blackmail material on one place. Outro song: Last Resort - Papa Roach X Jeris Johnson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just going to bulk for my entire life and deadlift 900 pounds when I'm 100. Outro song: Wacky Dust - Ella Fitzgerald Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Bro I'm keto, so it's totally cool that I'm eating nothing but butter all day.  Everyone loves butter anyway, I'm just cutting out the middle man bro. Outro song: That's Amore by Dean Martin Podcast art by Joey Rizk

This week's episode is like if you combined Ozark, Breaking Bad, and an 8 year old reading out loud in class all into one incoherent package. Outro song: Liposuction - Da Vinci's Notebook Podcast art by Joey Rizk

You've heard of pre workout, but I do gi workout.  It's where I do deadlifts in a karate gi.  What did George St Pierre wear when he practiced karate?  A guy.  I'll see myself out. Outro Song: I'm Fat - Weird Al Yankovic Podcast art by Joey Rizk

My new fitness goal is to become so fit that I become unlikable.  Step 1: Become likeable Outro song: Bad at Math - The Scary Jokes Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Doing a podcast by yourself is a bit like pissing your pants in your own home.  There's no one to blame but yourself. Outro song: Ramblin' Man - The Allman Brothers Band Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I hope to one day be successful enough to be in a position to embezzle.  No I didn't look up how to spell it.  Yes I did.  Sorry I lied. Outro song: Steak and Eggs - If you know, you know Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I've been thinking about rebranding this podcast as an art piece.  Which I think means I don't have to try to make it funny anymore. Outro song: Canadian Idiot - Weird Al Yankovic Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

Might fuck around and become the most influential artist of my generation. Outro song: Concrete and Clay - Unit 4+2 Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

If a tree falls down in the forest, most likely it's because I sat on it. Outro song: Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh - Allan Sherman Podcast logo by Joey Rizk

If "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks," and "tricks are for kids," does it then follow that bitches are for kids? Outro Song: Olympic Fanfare and Theme - John Williams Podcast art by Joey Rizk