Double Love

What sort of town's Chamber of Commerce thinks it's a good idea to hold a teenage beauty pageant at a public school? Sweet Valley, of course! Jessica is determined to become Miss Teen Sweet Valley, which she worryingly believes will be a way to attract older guys, but Liz is horrified at the school hosting such an event and launches a protest movement with our fave series regulars. Ned and Alice t...

There's only one place we want to celebrate our fourth birthday, and that's at Fowler Crest! Our flat-faced queen finally takes centre stage in an almost-Wakefield-free book (hurrah!). Lila's dismayed when her dad hooks up with glamorous Joan Borden, a woman who inexplicably takes her insipid teenage daughter Jacqueline on all her dates. Lila comforts herself by stealing car -acing Evan Armstrong...

It's our birthday! And what better way to celebrate than to answer the excellent questions sent in by you, our beloved listeners? Join us to find out how the podcast got started, which Wakefield is our least favourite, which moments sum up ultimate Sweet Valley for us, what book we find most ridiculous, what Lila's Olympic sport would be and much, much more. And thanks for listening! Here's to the...

At last, Sweet Valley has a canonically queer character - and to mark this momentous development, we're joined by two very special guests, the brilliant James and Cian from Sissy That Pod! What will these Sweet Valley virgins make of the SVH gang? There's a lot to discuss - Amy sets her sights on recently single Tom McKay, but Tom's more interested in Enid's stylish cousin Jake, whose visit to Swe...

Brace yourself, listeners, this is another grim book, as Francine and Co attempt to make amends for over 70 books worth of fatphobia, with unsurprisingly mixed results. Robin Wilson feels like her life is out of control, not least because of her absolutely terrible long-distance boyfriend George, who is fueling her insecurity constantly raving about his new flying class partner Vicky. Convinced th...

Pi Beta Alpha is our special bonus series for Headstuff Plus members - and this week we're sharing our new episode with you all, because, in a delightful coincidence, this episode of the Sweet Valley TV show is based on Regina's Legacy - and to our surprise, it's MUCH more entertaining than the original! Yes, the story of Liz accidentally documenting a criminal gang on film is pared down to the ba...

Don't get your hopes up, listeners - this book's connection to the saintly Regina (RIP) is tenuous at best. Skye Morrow gives Liz a camera that belonged to her late daughter, which is highly convenient/contrived because Liz has just become the most enthusiastic member of Sweet Valley High's new photography club! After Liz takes a pic of some suspicious men on a beach, she becomes the target of cri...

There's a new girl in Sweet Valley High, and Enid and Liz are her new best friends. Yes, Andrea Slade has left boring old New York City for exciting Sweet Valley, and she never wants to leave, especially after she falls for Dennis Reynolds - oh sorry, it's creepy Nicholas Morrow. When Lila and Jessica discover that Andrea is living with the object of their obsession, rock star Jamie Peters, they j...

Brace yourselves, everyone: this book contains one of the best scenes in Sweet Valley History and maybe even one of the best scenes in the history of western literature! Yes, apart from a boring subplot about Liz becoming a volunteer Secca Lake park ranger, Starring Jessica is solid gold. It's got Jessica wildly overestimating how famous she'll be after appearing in talk show! It's got scheming (S...

Breathe a sigh of relief, listeners - we don't have to put Ken Matthews in the bin after all! SVH needs a new quarterback, and Ken, who has mostly recovered from his accident in That (not actually) Fatal Night, is determined to try out. And when newcomer Claire Middleton announces she wants to try out too, our beloved himbo prince supports her all the way! Phew! But not everyone is cheering on the...

Take a deep breath folks, this isn’t the usual ridiculous fare - it’s so serious there aren’t even any outfits. Yes, Sweet Valley is tackling racism, when Andy Jenkins, seemingly the only Black boy in Sweet Valley, becomes the target of horrible Charlie Cashman’s vile abuse. His white friend Neil wants to help - but when Neil feels rejected by Andy, things take a genuinely shocking turn. For once...

Our beloved Dana Larson is fed up with love, and she's written a song to prove it! When Liz realises that soccer star Aaron Dallas has also given up on romance, she decides to fix him up with our favourite classic-movie-loving rocker. Will these opposites attract? Liz has made a bet with Todd that they will - though this bet doesn't really make much sense, as you will see. Meanwhile, Jess and Lila...

Bonjour les amies! We may be stuck in Ireland but Jessica and Elizabeth are off to France on a spring break student exchange, where they stay with the worst host family ever - Avery Glize, who is nice but basically leaves the twins to their own devices, and her sultry yet surly son René, who hates the beach (gasp!) and is so rude we find ourselves defending the Wakefield twins. What is the reason...

It's election season in Sweet Valley, but the real battle is taking place between Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield. Liz wants her parents to get back together, but Jess wants to fix Ned and Alice up with new love interests - and we get very excited by one of her selections! As well as lots of twin scheming, we've got an OTG political advisor, a very awkward dinner and a digression about Anna's neig...

Surprise surprise, it's still mostly Ned! But poor old Liz is convinced that she's responsible for the fall of the Casa del Wakefield, and the guilt has sent her into a quite a state. Having lost her faith in love, she's ignoring Enid's sensible advice, pushing away Todd, going on dates with boys she doesn't like - and worst of all, she's even letting down Mr Collins (he's back!). Meanwhile Jessic...

Ugh, Ned Wakefield. He's having a midlife crisis and he's taking it out on poor old Alice, who is under pressure at work -  her firm are hoping to get the job of designing the new wing of the Sweet Valley Mall. Cover it in Spanish tiles, Alice! When Ned defends the Wakefields' friend, mayoral candidate Peter Santelli, on a corruption charge, tensions rise in the Casa del Wakefield. Elizabeth is st...

This may be one of the most entertainingly ridiculous Sweet Valley storylines yet - and you know we don't say that lightly. Steven becomes obsessed with both hang gliding and Tricia-lookalike Andrea of Unique Boutique, and if he'd ended up kidnapping Andrea a la Carl the orlderly we wouldn't have been surprised. Seriously, he needs therapy and poor Cara deserves so much better! Meanwhile Jess has...

Hold the front page of the Oracle - we've got exciting news! If you'd like to support our Sweet Valley shenanigans AND get exclusive access to our new fortnightly Sweet Valley High TV recap series Pi Beta Alpha, you can join Headstuff+ for as little as 5 euro a month. Listen on to find out more - and get some tantalizing hints about the contents of our first bonus episode.  This show is part of th...

Watch out Sweet Valley! There's a new Liz Wakefield in town  - and she's got a surfboard. Yes, not content with her daring new non-permanent perm, Liz's determination to prove that she's not boring leads her to start secret surfing lessons. Her teenage teacher Sean wants Liz to win a surfing competition in order to win a bet - but his interest in Liz soon becomes more personal (and yes, he's yet a...

It's Christmas! And because time has no meaning in 2020, we're celebrating with the super thriller Deadly Summer - and we were NOT prepared for how dramatic this amazing book is. It's right up there with Murder in Paradise, and we don't say that lightly. The twins are interning at the Sweet Valley News when a dangerous bombmaker escapes from a local psychiatric hospital, seeking revenge on Sweet V...

We've been waiting a long time for this glorious day and we weren't disappointed. At last, it's time to meet Daniella Fromage and Magenta Galaxy! Yes, Jessica has finally run out of boys at Sweet Valley High and has decided to expand her horizons by signing up to a computer dating agency and adopting two very different personas. Having borrowed some of the best outfits ever seen in Sweet Valley fr...

Patty Gilbert's looking forward to seeing her boyfriend Jim for the first time in weeks - but when Patty's sister Jana returns home with the news that she's getting married in, like, five minutes, Patty's attempt to balance family obligations and romance leads to some typical Sweet Valley contrived drama. Luckily sensible khaki-clad Liz is there to provide sage advice. Meanwhile Jessica literally...

It's Karyn's worst nightmare - Amy Sutton has set her sights on everyone's favourite himbo, Ken Matthews! But when Ken is involved in a car accident that leaves him blind, evil Amy is keen to move on - and she's not the only one at Sweet Valley High who is uncomfortable with Ken's situation. Thank goodness for Karyn's kindred spirit Terri Adams, who has had a crush on Ken for ages and is there to...

Reunited and it feels so good! Or does it? Todd and Elizabeth are back together, but it looks like Todd's swanky new lifestyle will come between them - or at least it will if Courtney Kane has her way. Yes, the gloriously OTT yet strangely incompetent villain is up to no good in her typically cartoonish style and we enjoy every minute of it - especially when she makes a shocking declaration. Meanw...

Guess who's back, back again? Todd is back! Tell your friends! Elizabeth is in turmoil at the news, though not as much as poor Jeffrey (two words we say a LOT in this episode), who rightly figures his days are numbered as soon as Whizzer Wilkins returns to town. Meanwhile rich bitch Courtney Kane sets her sight on Todd, who is now living in a mansion that's almost as fancy as Fowler Crest. Courtne...