Double Love

We regret to inform you that an alarming amount of this book is devoted to the least sympathetic teenage orphan in literary history, Devon Whitelaw. Having insulted service industry workers and deprived himself of sleep and food for no good reason, Devon hits Vegas where he miraculously finds his black sheep uncle Pete by just...wandering around casinos. Despite being an actual grifter with a touc...

At this stage, we really thought we couldn't be surprised by Sweet Valley's approach to law enforcement and detective work. But then we learned that the only person investigating the crime scene at Fowler Crest, which was almost burned to the ground by an unknown arsonist, is... Steven Wakefield. Yes, who better to figure out how and why a fire started than an 18-year-old intern? And that's just o...

At last, we're back in Sweet Valley! What with Flair and the Chateau, it feels like we haven't seen the SVH cafeteria in months, but the gang's all here this week, and there's only one topic of conversation: the fire that just destroyed Fowler Crest! Yes, after a sorrowful Lila burns her love letters from Bo while home alone one night, she wakes to find her home in ablaze. She assumes it was an ac...

It's our last visit to the Chateau d'Amour Inconnu, and we're leaving on a high note, because the second half of the book is full of unhinged drama, including one scene which immediately earns its place in the Sweet Valley gallery of iconic moments. With Jacques nobly sacrificing himself to prove the twins' innocence, will he spend the rest of his days in the dungeon? Will Laurent grow a spine? An...

Release the hounds! The twins have escaped the dungeon, but being the big eejits they are, they can't resist returning to the Chateau for... reasons. Don't expect anything here to make sense, especially the geography of the de Sainte-Maries' kingdom which becomes even more confusing in this book. But there's still a lot to enjoy/mock, including Jessica's surprising bushcraft skills, Laurent having...

Alas, our hopes for some Frank Cobra level excitement in the second half of this book were not realised, as most of it consists of Jessica being unbearable, Jacques acting like a prize fool, Laurent being a spineless embarrassment and Liz running away crying. Only the constantly shrieking Countess di Rimini and her total disregard for the laws of France bring the drama, and boy does she leave the...

We're back at the Château, where both twins feel like they've found their happily ever afters with handsome Frenchmen (is Laurent actually French or is he a citizen of the unnamed principality? Unclear). But there's trouble in paradise. Jessica's dreams of being accepted by her royal bosses as the girlfriend of the heir to the Norveaux dukedom are shattered when Jacques spins her a preposterous ya...

As Anna is feeling under the weather this week, unfortunately we don't have a new episode for you. However, here is a taste of the bonus podcast with our second episode of the Caitlin series. We hope you enjoy! If you want to listen to the full series become a member at headstuffpodcasts.com/membership. We're back at Highgate Academy, where Caitlin Ryan continues to be (a) absolutely unhinged and...

We're coming to the cottage! No, not the fun romantic one, we're talking about Laurent's mysterious maze-adjacent home, where Liz takes refuge after being caught in a storm. This pair of doses met in their dreams (ugh) and now they're staying up all night engaging in witless banter. Is Liz right when she wonders if Laurent is her destiny? He does know the way to woo a Sweet Valley girl (it involve...

We return to the Escher drawing that is the Chateau d'Amour Inconnu, situated on an island that continues to baffle us with its weird geography. Yes, the twins have arrived at their new royal workplace, where their employers are charming but they are expected to sleep in a filthy garret. While Jessica skives off from her duties - looking after children who reinforce our belief that no one involved...

Bienvenue, listeners! Yes, we're living through the longest, grimmest winter ever, but Jessica and Elizabeth are heading to the south of France again (or as the ghostwriter would have us believe, the first time. René who?) to spend the summer (what summer? Who cares!) as au pairs. To our great delight, Todd basically tells Liz he can't trust her and sets her free for the summer. You'd think she'd...

Having been fired from her internship at the world's least professional fashion magazine thanks to Leona's lies, Liz feels utterly defeated. But when Jessica suggests a little light burgling, she starts to wonder if she can expose the scheming editor. But she - and indeed we - underestimated Leona's sheer unhingedness! Meanwhile Jessica faces career disappointment and discovers that literally ever...

We're back in the Flair offices, and the hinges are totally coming off now. Liz puts her supposedly brilliant revenge scheme into action, with some frankly unnecessary help from Maria and Enid whose own internships have clearly fallen by the wayside. But will Leona foil her plans? Meanwhile Jessica's career seems to be taking off - but she's stuck with odious Quentin instead of less obviously odio...

Sorry gang, we have no new episode today, but we'll be back next week to talk about the Flair office and what appears to be Liz's Working Girl storyline. Join us then for part one of Fashion Victim! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever looked at an Ancient Roman themed fashion shoot and thought "what this really needs is some random cats wandering around with no expert supervision?" Have you ever bunked off work and left a teenage intern - with whom you inexplicably discuss your personal life - to do your job? Well, you'd be right at home in the Flair offices! Yes, the world's most chaotic and unprofessional magazi...

We don't have a new episode for you today, but we thought you might like to hear Gwyneth's amazing email in full to tide you over until next week. Also, don't forget to vote for Anna's book Our Song in the Irish Book Awards! Cast your vote here: ⁠https://www.irishbookawards.ie/vote/⁠ This show is part of the HeadStuff Podcast Network. For more, go to ⁠HeadStuffPodcasts.com⁠, where you can also bec...

We're back in the wildly unprofessional offices of Flair, where Liz's dream job is turning into a nightmare. She's still reeling after catching Todd and Simone in a passionate embrace and now her mentor Leona seems to be crushing her dreams. Though as soon becomes clear, Leona's editorial instincts are questionable at best. Meanwhile Jessica attempts to juggle romances with two adult men who shoul...

Someone in HR needs to do an intervention at the Flair offices, because this workplace is terrifyingly unprofessional. The twins are still interns at what we're told is the hottest fashion magazine in town, but things aren't working out as they hoped. Liz's (genuinely good!) idea is rejected by Leona, while Jessica's attempts to shoot a fancy portfolio for photographer Quentin are halted by a gian...

We had low expectations for this trilogy after the vampire drama but Cover Girls turned out to be a lot of fun - albeit with some wildly, unsettlingly inappropriate moments. The twins are doing yet another internship, this time at allegedly hot fashion magazine Flair. Liz is taken under the wing of glamorous editor Leona, while Jessica finds herself doing manual labour for photographer Quentin and...

We're back - with a super thriller from 1988! Yes, we're revisiting the twins' sejourn at the Sweet Valley News, where everyone's obsessed with the trial of mob boss Frank DeLucca. Liz is convinced that someone will step forward and testify against him, while new fellow intern Darcy mocks her faith in human nature. Liz finds solace in heartfelt chats with Eric, a new arrival in Sweet Valley with a...

We're back for the conclusion of the greatest story ever told! Having discovered Jonathan's secret vampire-themed library, not to be confused with Lord Pembroke's secret werewolf-themed library which she discovered in the werewolf trilogy, Liz is convinced that Jessica's new love is a creature of the night. The cops may not believe her, but after spending a day in "cyberspace" Maria sure does - an...

We don't have a new episode for you this week, but we'll be back next Thursday to find out what happens in part two of Kiss of a Killer! In the meantime, there's someone we'd like to introduce you to... It's a whole new era at Pi Beta Alpha! Part Lila, part Jessica and possibly part Margo, Caitlin's a raven haired beauty at an elite boarding school (the least said about the history of said school...

Good news! Jonathan's manky kip of a house is finally being cleaned. Bad news! The cleaning is being done by our beloved Goth Enid, who doesn't cover herself in glory in this book by (a) doing Jonathan's housework in a pathetic and ill-fated attempt to win his heart and (b) not caring at all about the murder of poor expendable Katrina. Of course, neither does Jessica, who sees Katrina's funeral as...

The first part of this unhinged book was magnificent, and the second half doesn't disappoint. Get ready for the (sadly brief) triumph of Goth Enid over Jessica, Todd swapping his chinos for black jeans, Liz being repulsed by dyed hair, Joey's inexplicable attempts to introduce her to her own home town, Jessica punching more inanimate objects and Jonathan Cain continuing to be pop culture's least c...

We don't want to be hyperbolic, but this might be the greatest book ever written. It's got history's least charismatic and sexy vampire! It's got a literally crumbling gothic mansion! It's got Alice and Ned getting pissed at the café theatre! It's got Jessica punching a locker in a fit of rage! It's got Liz being appalled that Todd actually looks kind of hot (we're as surprised as you are)! And be...