Doomsday: History's Most Dangerous Podcast

We've described some pretty fairly awful commutes on this show before. On today's very special "return-to-Africa" episode, all people wanted to do was get to work, but the weather got bad to the point where the road said "you shall not pass, your life is in danger". The train took a look at all this and said, "hold my beer”. On today’s episode: you will learn how the location of today’s story soun...

You’ve maybe heard that during an accident, time slows. Truth is, it’s an illusion. Your brain flips into high-alert, and processes visual information in way higher detail, which makes the experience feel longer. Of all the episodes and stories we’ve shared on this show before, this is the one story you would absolutely not want to appreciate in high-detail slow-mo. On today’s episode: you’ll find...

No one shows up to work expecting to make history, but today’s story shows how one small, irreversible decision created the one of the worst days at work in US History. If that “fork in the road” moment had played out in any other way, today’s episode would mostly just be me chatting up Texans and offering up some gardening tips. On today’s episode: you will find out why parts of Texas smell like...

I believe the most frightening vehicle to travel from point A to point B in would be a submarine – and I am including cable cars, and rocket sleds, and tightropes, and wingsuits, and early diving bells, and high-altitude balloon gondolas, and luge sleds, and the kind of fixed-wing plane where you have to walk on the wing, and human cannonballing, and ziplining over a volcano in that analysis. Let’...

I do love a story where almost no one dies, but if you’ve listened to this show long enough, you know I also really do enjoy a bad day at work episodes where the opposite is true. In today’s story, no one dies. That said, some people are going to lose their hair and have their fingers soldered or arc-welded together at work.  On today’s episode: you will see how the simple act of going blabbity bl...

There is a strong anthropological argument that controlled fire is humanity’s first invention. Among the many gifts it bestows upon us, being able to survive colder climates is one of them. As you will soon see, in today’s episode, that will not be an issue.        On today’s episode:  you’ll hear about one of the deadliest and most destructive forces on the planet can play a kind of peekaboo and...

You might think the worst thing cheese can do is cause indigestion, or elevated cholesterol, or the need to punch more belt holes - maybe even the occasional fart sneaks out. But on today’s episode, you will learn, as it turns out, we’ve catastrophically underestimated it. On today’s episode: we’ll visit a postcard perfect country that’s ridiculously beautiful from top to bottom, but on a map look...

If you think the worst thing that can happen while skiing is trying not to scream while the ski patrol figures out why your leg’s bending that way, we have a lot to teach you about skiing. Spoiler: mountains can cook and kill people. Don’t say this podcast doesn’t teach you things. On today’s episode:  you will learn why Frankenstein was more graceful on stolen corpse feet than you are in snowboot...

The Yukon River is famous for its remoteness and scenic vistas and history, where very little may seem to happen – but in 1906, one man’s lack of situational awareness and fine-motor skills created the greatest, cattle-based pyrotechnics display the world had ever seen. On today’s episode:  you will see how miners and prostitutes used to travel in style in the far sub-Arctic North; you will hear a...

You ever go on a field trip at school and every time you look over your shoulder, there’s a teacher or chaperone giving you the stink eye? Well try to imagine a field trip where you look up and all your old relatives are waving you into a tunnel of white light. On today’s very special milestone 100th Episode:  you’ll hear about my school trip to a French strip club; you would learn about a man of...

BEFORE WE BEGIN – the best way to enjoy today's stupidity is in the form of video, which as a special thank you to all of you for another great year, I have edited together and made FREE at patreon.com/funeralkazoo . No strings attached. Just a gift to you all, with hopes for happy holidays and a fantastic new year.  ––––– You ever watch a big, blockbuster sci-fi action adventure movie that turns...

Nothing says ‘fun afternoon’ quite like adding cutlery to your feet, bruising most of your body, and then going for a nice swim. And to clarify, when I say nothing, I mean because that’s not something that anyone has ever said before. On today’s episode:  we’ll see how the former digs of axe murderers and corpse thieves and child labour body pits became one of the most beautiful green spaces in Lo...

The average lake around the world is about the size of a large parking lot – the kind of thing you might try to skip a stone across. The current World Record for stone skipping is 88 skips. If you were to skip a stone across the lake we’re visiting today, it would have to beat that number by about 406, 912 and it would be bouncing across the water for about three hours. On today’s episode: You’ll...

To begin today’s tale, allow me to share a translation of an ancient Chinese joke: Three men were looking at the clouds. One points to a cloud and says, that cloud is shaped like a horse. Another points to a cloud and says, that one is shaped like a whale. The third man points to a mushroom-shaped cloud, and everyone dies. On today’s episode: you’ll find out just how badly ancient China wanted not...

Take the most frightening death you can imagine, now double it. Then double it again. And then add fire. This is our Halloween episode, and by the time we’re done, your favourite horror movie will have all the impact of a baby food commercial. I’m not saying you’ll never sleep again, but I’m not not saying it. I am apologizing in advance, and I remind you that a Doomsday barf bag is only an email...

The most unusual thing about today’s story is that almost everyone is going to bruise their lungs. For your sake, I hope it’s from laughing. Not everyone will be so lucky. On today’s episode: you’ll hear about the one part of your body I want you to consider more worthy of fiddling with than your genitals; if you’re a stickler for building codes, we’re going to take you on a beautiful, potentially...

We’ve done episodes where people lose their teeth. We’ve done episodes where have them melted out of their heads, or frisbeed out by debris, or punched out by bulls, or even blown out of their heads by lightning. But we’ve never done an episode where the most horrifying thing that happens is you maybe get something stuck in them. On this episode: we’ll take off on one of the least enviable flights...

It’s rare for us to have an episode with so many feces mentioned right off the top, but do not worry, refreshments will be served. On this episode: we’re doing another one-of-a-kind episode here, and I’ll explain the rules as get into it, but for all those listeners who love our more unhygienic content, have we got a treat for you. We’re talking about the only consumer product you can blow out you...

As a lifelong, dyed in the wool, comic book enthusiast, it behooves me with the recent release of the new James Gunn Superman movie to share this short Patreon segment pulled from our recent Greensburg Tornado Disaster of 2007 episode.  Back in 1938, to his creators, Kansas represented the humble origins and strong ethics we associate with the Superman we know today. They believed that no other St...

Today, we will be spending the day on board a whole bunch of ships sharing a long and storied heritage. Sadly, we’re going to spend most of our time on the one that crew members called “The Mobile Chernobyl” . On today’s episode: we’ll see what it feels like to survive something that peeled through six inch steel plates like taffy; in our safety segment, you’ll hear the first use of the term “enri...

Hello, and welcome to the inglorious return of Doomsday: History’s Most Dangerous Mailbag Minisode! We’ve seen an awful lot of $@!# across time and space and it’s only natural that you would have questions – so here is your chance hear them answered. Maybe learn something a little gross, maybe a little interesting. This is my chance to publicly answer some of the friendly, odd and occasionally gro...

A wind could remove your hat. A stronger wind might steal your lawn furniture. The kind of wind we’re talking about today renovated Pre-War and Mid-Century Midwestern homes into more “open concept” dwellings. On today’s episode: we’re going to take a look at what happens when you’re visited by a storm so powerful, they invent a new scale just to define it; we’ll see what it feels like to have your...

We’ve been a lot of places together on this show. I’m trying to think of the weirdest. Nuclear reactors, insane asylums, the mouths of volcanoes; but now, by fan request, it’s finally time that we visit our strangest location yet: a restaurant. And before we begin – IHOP you survive the experience! On today’s episode: we’re visiting an American institution, recognized around the world for it’s biz...

You know how when you have a good idea, you get a little lightbulb over your head? What if you had a bad idea, and a million cubic feet of rock collapsed on you. On today’s episode:  why the tourist bureau for today’s story drink so much; how the people in today’s episode work with equipment that would rattle an melt your skull off and sometimes want to cry and eat each other; and why the phrase “...

Today, we’re going to witness a light so bright it would instantaneously and irreversibly turn your corneas into charcoal, and oddly, it’s the least dangerous thing about our story. On today’s episode:  why the tourist bureau for today’s story drink so much; how the people in today’s episode work with equipment that would rattle an melt your skull off and sometimes want to cry and eat each other;...