Alexander Holland & John Maloney

Don't Praise The Machine (DPTM)

Comedy EN ↓ 268 episodes

Al and John grew up together in the 1990s but now live on opposite sides of the world. Each week, they get together through the magic of the Internet to catch up, make each other laugh and try to make sense of it all. The result is a funny, surreal and thought-provoking excursion through the arcane recesses of pop culture and technology, and the mysteries of everyday life. What’s it like to have a virtual companion? Did Hilaria Baldwin really pretend to be Spanish? Why did movies used to have a rap in the credits to explain their own plot? Get in touch at hello@dptm.org or find us on IG @dont_...

Author

Alexander Holland & John Maloney

Episodes

#18 – Sisyphus emoji 26.07.2021 21:33

John and Al canvass extreme longevity in online dating, Australian new wave hits, astrological hard truths and the future of emojis. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#17 – Who Knows Where This Douchery Will End 19.07.2021 24:32

Al and John meditate on showertime fatbergs, ol’ timey wet shaves, Dutchy’s hot shorts and the chilling possibilities of drone food delivery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#16 – The Haycast 12.07.2021 19:38

This week, John and Al talk ageing crooners, multicoloured yawns and the hazards of artistic education. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#15 – Like I Am You, And You Are Me 05.07.2021 22:44

This week, Al and John ponder fugue state TV, Stuckeyville bowls, the imposing oeuvre of Kevin James and the mystery of miracle healers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#14 – Apologies and corrections 28.06.2021 22:33

John and Al talk homework habits and imposter syndrome, communicating by celebrity proxies and using a carriage service to delight. Plus: a Goonies retraction, and a visit from a friend o’ the show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#13 – He Thinks He’s a Lawyer 21.06.2021 23:37

This week, John becomes a reclusive, pill-popping cameo addict, and Al gets high on delicious windfalls and unsolicited seasons greetings. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#12 – Let’s Burn Some Bridges 14.06.2021 19:17

This week, Al and John survey time travel paradoxes, clickbait, beauty routines gone wrong and the thirst for external validation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#11 – What Will Future Be Like? 07.06.2021 18:52

This week John and Al revisit family film favourites and free-to-air fizzers, and dream of magical holidays and the future that might have been. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#10 – Episode Ten 31.05.2021 23:52

This week, John and Al arrive at a momentous milestone; go on record to endorse the world’s finest crutch tips; and enjoy a mystical massage. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#9 – Tamam Shud 24.05.2021 25:32

This week, John and Al draw a warm, delicious daal bath and ponder some of life’s great mysteries: the Somerton Man, amateur doomsday prepping and grown men eating children’s snacks. Plus, another DPTM conversation hack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#8 – And That's A Solid Friend 17.05.2021 32:29

This week, John and Al get a surprise visit from a friend o’ the show; and recall underwhelming pranks, avant-garde advertisements, the golden age of waterbeds and a timely 90s mashup. See you at the cafe - Central Perk! °°°Show Notes°°° Tom Arnold Memo to us :: https://memmo.me/global/en/video/rKnyYqg Tom Arnold Scene in True Lies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-i9qPOgnAU8 Mr Bankrupt Commercia...

#7 – Treat You Like My Sticky Icky 10.05.2021 20:18

This week, John and Al contemplate silky voices, bushy eyebrows and palpitating hearts; misconceived childhood business ventures; and the divine genius of Baby Bash. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#6 - This Purple Hamburger Blob Has Inspired Me 04.05.2021 21:39

This week, John and Al get eulogised by Sisqo and baffled by barrister’s egos, cause a stink with passive-aggressive housemates, and return to the rich seam of content that is 90s fast food nostalgia. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#5 – God Has Tendered His Resignation 26.04.2021 20:04

This week John and Al encounter dancing bullies and hard-partying Czechs; experience a backseat Freudian regression; and contemplate the weird world of YouTube soothsayers and the second acts of reality tv stars. Touchdown! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#4 – Pizza Dude’s Got Thirty Seconds 19.04.2021 21:45

This week, John and Al traverse mountains of Subway cookies, plunge their faces into naked burgers and explore the dangerous lure of drugs, bears and storm drain pepperoni pizza. °°°Show Notes°°° Ninja Turtles Movie (1990) pizza in the drain scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjv4IBwHsH4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#3 – Dub Chiggy Surprise 12.04.2021 18:35

This week John and Al go on record to endorse some iconic Australian products, offer a heartfelt tribute to actor and polymath Bill Paxton and contemplate the mystery of the double cheeseburger. It's a spiritual thing.  °°Show notes°° -Bill Paxton moment in True Lies :: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuTvA1_NNSo&t=125s Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#2 – The Man Who Breathes Through His Eyes 05.04.2021 19:26

This week John and Al contemplate strange bedfellows: plane travel and booze advertisments, Richard Dawkins and The Killers, and the Chieftains and Cardi B. It’s not a trick, it’s just a beautiful moment they want to give to you. *We found a single image online of the Man Who Breathes Through His Eyes at the Adelaide Fringe in 2010. Photo is from Flicker user Hank Graalman https://www.flickr.com/p...

#1 – A Licky Boom Boom Down 22.03.2021 23:28

In this first installment, John and Al discuss a novel way to keep the conversation flowing when meeting new people, being mischievous online in the pre-social media era and a musical highlight of 1993. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.