Don't Go Outside

In this episode Allen finds out what facts are and unloads his truth bullets straight into your brain with his newly acquired knowledge uzi. Rat-ta-ta-tat!   Dean watches the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King's Pet Sematary and realises that sometimes dead is better, we hear about the third best "Trial of the Century" with the tale of Leopold & Loeb, and Pete finds out that it tak...

In this eventful episode we hear about Deano’s Mid-Podcast flood, Pete’s love of 70’s rock opera and Al’s curiosity about Jessica Tandy’s nethers. All very cheesy. Dean continues his horror journey with John Carpenter’s classic Halloween, and we have a sneaky look at Hollywood’s greasy underbelly with the tale of William Randolph Hearst. So, put on your water wings, man the life boats, but whateve...

In this episode we rediscover the meaning of the word “meandering” as the guys cover a range of subjects, such as smart meters, oysters, and cutting out the booze. We find out what Allen thinks Caviar is, and Dean asks…what is the best film ending…EVER? So, pull up a chair, have a yourself a cheeky one, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! 

In this episode we shine the spotlight on billionaire philanthropist, and futurist flame-thrower salesman, Elon Musk. From his electric cars to his plans for affordable globe spanning internet, he’s the man with a plan. But is he all that he seems? Dean shares his very real fears that there may be a sinister plan behind Musk’s innovations. Can he really be planning a Zombie apocalypse!? Look, we’r...

In this episode we dim the lights, and hide behind the sofa, as Dean begins his horror odyssey and gives us his opinion of the 1973 classic, ‘The Wicker Man’. Not to be confused with the 2006 remake starring Nicolas Cage. That was absolute dog shit. Pete tells us about British thriller ‘The Good Liar’, alligator chiller ‘Crawl’ and Dean recalls the legend of Roscoe ‘Fatty’ Arbuckle.  And don’t wor...

We’re back with our 40th episode! But can we celebrate? Even if we stand 2m apart? Can we heck. In this episode we talk about the films of universally revered Tom Hanks. Don’t ask why…I can’t remember. We talk about some of the greatest comebacks of all time and Dean tells us about what must have been one of the Worst. Mountain. Climbs. Ever.  So, stay safe, stay home, and whatever you do…Don’t Go...

While the guys get to grips with this thing called technology, this is another retro recording that never got released. Exciting! In this episode we talk about Mike Flanagan’s sequel to The Shining, Doctor Sleep and Dean tells us about documentaries, I Love You Now Die and Netflix’s Tell Me Who I Am. These include spoilers so…you have been warned! We delve into the shockingly dark world of SpongeB...

I’m going to be honest…this was recorded a while ago, when Brexit was the worst we had to worry about. How things have changed! In this throwback episode the guys talk about the time Pete went to see Terminator : Dark Fate, Dean’s failed attempt at queueing for the bus and we hark back to the Golden Age of Hollywood as we hear the  story of ‘Fixer to the Stars’, Scotty Bowers. So, look after yours...

Hello and welcome to the best cure to the isolation blues this side of Netflix! In a week when toilet paper is worth more than gold, the guys talk about Best film Oscar winner Parasite, Tarantino’s masterpiece / worst film Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, and Pete goes to see The Invisible Man…or does he?  Allen drops a stinker, Pete watches a stinker (Fantasy Island??), and Dean…what a stinker! So,...

In a week when Coronavirus has everyone running scared, the guys do the sensible thing and Don’t Go Outside. Instead they talk of happier times…of TV and movies…of Dean’s flooded carpets and Pete’s big wet tits. The usual stuff. In this episode they cover Harley Quinn movie Birds of Prey, Netflix Docushocker Voyeur and David Lynch’s mad but brilliant What Did Jack Do? So, google if Docushocker is...

We would like to thank our manager, our agent, our….no stuff it…it’s all us, baby! All us! This week the guys sift through the Oscar debris as they talk through the winners at this year’s Academy Awards, Dean tells us why he’s king of the skips (the rubbish kind…not the horrible crisps), and they talk about their top movie picks and what has tickled their Tv trout.  They talk about one shot marvel...

Episode 34 – Lords Of Chaos Hail Satan and welcome to episode 34 of Don’t Go Outside! This week the guys stayed true to their word and instead stayed in and watched Lords of Chaos, the shockingly violent biopic of Norwegian black metal band…Mayhem. There will definitely be spoilers so you have been warned. They talk cafetieres, Arche goats and famously randy dolphins. You Know? Really randy. So, s...

Episode 33 – Burt Packs Out A Pair Of Tights Happy New Year and welcome to the first Don’t Go Outside of 2020! After a little break, the guys are back and raring to go as they talk about their new year’s resolutions, dildo fights at the bingo and cat murder. All in a days work for these weirdos! They review new films JoJo Rabbit and Rise of the Skywalker, Netflix documentary Don’t FxxK With Cats a...

Episode 32 – A Merry Monicas Christmas As St. Noddy is destined to scream every December…IT’S CHRISTMAS! And who are we to argue. In this special festive episode these fatted turkeys talk all that is Christmas.  The best Christmas dinner...the best Christmas porno...the best time to catch the Christmas bus.  I'm told that's a thing. So hang up your stocking, leave a mince pie for Santa,...

Episode 31 – Joaquin The Beard Spider In this week’s episode the guys talk about Dean’s secret smooth jazz habit, what they really thought about the Joker movie, and we ask if it’s really a good idea to inflate your testicles to the size of a basketball. Spoilers…it’s not. Enjoy! So, have yourself a nice long poo, relax, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Sti...

Episode 30 – Has Elvis Left The Building? In this week’s episode the guys ask if it’s possible to save the planet by eating babies, Allen’s board game idea gains pace, and Dean floors us all with an Elvis based shocker.  So, find out your blue suede shoes, relax, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual pod...

Episode 29 – Hitler’s Last Sandwich In this week’s episode the guys get hairy as they talk male grooming, Allen unveils his idea for a brand new board game, and Dean recalls the legend of Spring Heeled Jack. Enjoy!! So, moisturize your T-Zone, relax, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual podcast apps…Ple...

Episode 28 – The Highgate Vampire In this week’s episode the guys talk schoolyard Olympics, psychotic dwarves and fantastic vampire hunters. Enjoy!! So, break out the garlic, relax, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual podcast apps…Please like & subscribe! Facebook / Instagram / Twitter – Search for...

Episode 27 – The Piggy Butcher In this week’s episode the guys talk food, spooky spacemen, and piggy butchers. Allen reveals his Salem's Lot fixation, and we hear their top 3 horror movie scares. Enjoy!! So, take me to your leader, relax, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual podcast apps…Please lik...

Episode 26 – Hail Satan! If we had to give you one piece of advice this Halloween it’s this…never name the sacrificial goat. R.I.P Keith.  In this week’s episode we hear Allen’s list of things you should never do during a Zombie outbreak, how Dean’s weekend away turned nasty, and Pete gives us the definitive guide to selling your soul to the devil. Enjoy! So, Google how to draw a pentagram, relax,...

Episode 25 – A Good Clean Sexy Cult Episode 25 – A Good Clean Sexy Cult In this week’s report Pete discovers that horses can sit down, Allen reveals why he pays way too much for his gummy bears, and Dean thinks it’s just the right time to start a cult. Not a sex cult. He can’t stress that enough.  So, don’t drink the Kool-Aid, relax, but above all…Don’t Go Outside! You can catch us on Apple Podcas...

Episode 24 – Nine Months Gregnant  As the nights start drawing in, the leaves fall from the trees, and the smell of Allen’s Catkins hangs heavy in the air, you know the time is near…for the next episode of Don’t Go Outside! This week Pete explains how he went vegetarian for a week without actually eating a vegetable, Dean tries to convince the guys why he’s nearly a Jedi, and Allen sprays hot news...

Episode 23 – The Day They Went Outside They only went and did it! They did the one thing they've been telling you not to do...they went outside.   Dean takes the guys to see his pride and joy, the apple of his eye...a massive patch of nettles and tarpaulin. Admittedly in its early stages, Dean's dream of owning his own allotment has become all too real. Bring on the onions!   Pete explai...

Episode 22 – The Green Fingered Dandy Hello…fancy seeing you here! Dean returns from his Welsh adventure with news of a new purchase and catches up on all the news he’s missed while he was away. Which, as it turns out, wasn’t much.  Allen struggles to come to terms with everyone else’s sexuality, and it’s a big bottom’s up from Pete as he unveils his alcoholic three course menu. Iechyd da! If you...

Episode 21 - Turkish Delight With great power comes great responsibility…which is a little frightening because there’s very little evidence of responsibility here! POW! Pete delivers all the important news from the San Diego Comic Con. THWACK! Dean lets us in on some frankly disgusting illnesses. WALLOP! Allen tells us what we should be doing with our Tripe. You know….all that spare Tripe you’ve g...