Don't call it a book club.

Luke is lookin fresh and no man is gonna stop him (07:30). Your favorite fantasy fellows propose several crucial innovations for T’Telir. Dan, known to some as fantasy Sherlock, pieces together a brilliant prediction about the Returned. Also, if you thought we were done talking about what the Returned would eat you must be on your second episode ever. Welcome. Special thanks to VOLO for the...

Dan kicks us off by attempting to alienate our listeners with a hot take about superhero movies (8:30), feel free to tell us how you feel about his awful opinion. This episode was a wild one and covers the first 20 chapters of Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson. There are a lot of chances for audience participation so tweet at us with your best flower related recipes with #YummyFlowers and your best...

Mike Shel pretty much schools us on Aching God, RPGs, psychology, and proper methods of maniacal, sadistic punishment. We laughed. We cried. Dan was almost flayed alive. A good time had by all. Check out Mike on Twitter @MikeShelAuthor and see Aching God as a finalist in the SPFBO competition. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post Aching God: Mike Shel Interview first appe...

To start this episode we revolutionize the book adaptation world by throwing out video game ideas (10:50). Tweet us your video game adaptations of books with #adaptmyvideogamealready and we’ll rant and/or rave about how terrible/good your idea is. Throughout the rest of the episode Dan makes several terrible theories about Aching God, and somehow still gets Luke on board with them. Look forw...

Get excited, we are talking about swords this episode. Do you agree with Dan and his perfectly reasonable stance about swords being tools with a somber purpose and thus not deserving of names, or are you a bigger sociopath than Auric? Yep, we’re calling out Auric again. Also, Luke spots a shield sized problem with the party’s battle tactics. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro m...

Dan gets this episode started by giving away a great fantasy plot idea for free, then we start discussing the first 13 chapters of Aching God by Mike Shel (5:30). Luke laments the lost look of the imposing desk and we both come down a little harshly on Auric. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post Aching God: Part One first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

Luke and Dan debate the merits of skipping leg day (spoilers: don’t.) But feel free to skip to 6:25 to hear fan favorites like, "Why are we giving sick people wine not water?" and "Bondsmages are cheating, right?". What ridiculous animal combinations would you create for the Duke’s feast? Tweet your suggestions to @DCitaBC with #frankenfeast. Special thanks to VOLO...

No intro segment for this episode, we start already warmed up to cover the first 10 chapters of the Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch. Dan spends a while raving about how good this book is and Luke calls out the Grey King for cheating. If you’re worried that the first half is too serious, don’t worry we get real deep into the unimportant details towards the end. Special thanks to VOL...

Tune in to this episode to hear Dan’s very controversial opinions on lobotomy, but first listen to Luke give some advice on healthy living. Oh and in case you’re not sure what the final conflict will be we’ve got you covered with some pretty solid predictions. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post The Lies of Locke Lamora: Part One first appeared on Don't...

Remember The Colony show from 2009? Well Dan does…Ya boys develop a theory live in episode. We also get into some dubious astrophysics, but who’s going to call us out for it? Seriously someone should probably get @ us (@DCitaBC). Special thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music. The post A Fire Upon the Deep: Part Three first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

No warm-up this time, just those clean, 100% pure, pristine book nuggets. Speaking of dank nugs, this week we once again return to talking about space dogs smoking that sticky icky. Dan posts up a couple of deep three pointer theories and for no reason whatsoever Luke brings Cuba into this mess. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post A Fire Upon the Deep: Part Two first app...

Luke and Dan rile each other up over audiobooks, then start the first episode on the Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge. Both of us spend a good amount of time discussing the intricacies of the dog pack society of the Tines (dog packs using bows and arrows, whaaat?), then get really excited about a character’s name. It’s Pham… his name is Pham. Special thanks to VOLO for the intr...

Your two favorite podcast hosts finally make their pitch to transition to Hollywood with the new Eragon Trailer. Dan is crowned the king of theories, and Luke give Lollys some (completely justified) sympathy. Also Daenerys did it again. Again. Trust me we don’t want to keep talking about this, but Daenerys did it again. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music. The trailer can be see...

As promised we start this episode by nailing down the trailer for our new Eragon movie before talking about A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin. Dan shows off his negotiating skills and Luke roasts Jon Snow’s package opening skills. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post A Clash of Kings: Part Three first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

In this episode we spend the first 10 minutes brainstorming about the plotline for our Eragon movie, then discuss A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin. Luke laments the winter preparations being made in Westeros and Dan makes a theory about Craster’s wives. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post A Clash of Kings: Part Two first appeared on Don't call it a book club...

Before talking about A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin we talk about the new Eragon book and pitch our idea for a new movie. Luke points out the overwhelming evidence for #FlatWesteros and Dan tries to convince Luke of his most recent theory. We will be taking a week off for the holidays, look for our next episode to be in two weeks. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The...

Luke and Dan take a one-episode hiatus from books, and take a stab at discussing other media. Luke gives his thoughts on the new Fantastic Beasts movie, and Dan talks about fantasy TV shows. Worried our style won’t work on anything but books? That’s probably fair. Have something you want us to talk about? Tweet us @DCitaBC Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post...

The boys are back at it again. In a very anti-Immortal episode Luke roasts Demian, and Dan comes down very hard on Jan (again). We wrap up our discussion of The Crimson Queen by revealing the consequences of climate engineering. Wondering why this episode is twice as long? Alec Hutson, author of The Crimson Queen, tells us the secret to coming up with cool titles and answers many of our well thoug...

Dan gets a little Marxist early on and comes down a little harsh on Jan. Luke’s ridiculous "bird fireworks" comment from last episode is somehow vindicated. We also ponder the important questions. Thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music. The post The Crimson Queen Part Two: Chapters 13 – 26 first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle! Luke and Dan are back at it again: Luke planning a culture change seminar for Keilan’s village, Dan convincing Luke sorcery is fantastic for one very specific reason. Also Luke makes a bold prediction involving Godzilla. The post The Crimson Queen Part One: Chapters 1 – 12 first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

Dan ruins Christmas then brings up new evidence for his Ben-Denna theory. Luke points out that Kvothe probably wears a fedora, and we talk about our ratings for the Name of the Wind before announcing our next book. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post The Name of the Wind Part Four: Chapters 72 – End first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

Luke and Dan talk about voting just in time to miss the election, then jump into the third section of The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. We roast Kvothe and Denna for about half the episode, then Dan comes up with arguably his best theory to date. Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music. The post The Name of the Wind Part Three: Chapters 47-71 first appeared on Don't call it a book...

Luke and Dan throw a little shade on a Halloween tradition and attempt to answer the age old question: what is money? You won’t believe which character is actually a certified sneaker head! Listen to find out! (Tryna go viral guys) Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music. The post The Name of the Wind Part Two: Chapters 18-46 first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

In our first Kingkiller Chronicles episode we have a long conversation about Dungeons and Dragons before getting into the book. Dan calls Abenthy the Arcanist a dick and Luke gets scared by a Chandrian with bad hair. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post The Name of the Wind Part One: Chapters 1-17 first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .

We wrap up the last episode covering Hyperion by Dan Simmons with discussions about the last two chapters and the book as a whole. Dan convinces Luke yet again to buy into one of his theories, and Luke endorses the Consul’s crazy decision. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music. The post Hyperion Part 3: Chapter 5 – End first appeared on Don't call it a book club. .