Don't call it a book club.

The Bastards have a wild government. As well respected fantasy constitutional scholars we’ve got your questions covered with in depth analysis. Also interested in civil engineering? Dan uses his wall building expertise to call out the Orc propaganda. And if you’re looking to pad that slophead resume a little get yourself an internship at that axe throwing place down the street. You kno...

Your favorite podcasting frails get right into the mud with some of these dirty hogs. Luke and Dan have already fallen head over heels for Ugfuck. Don’t believe the lies; orcs float. Also, we can all agree the half-orcs are over complicating things. Keep it simple, slophead! Finally, the boys congratulate Jackal on his sweet new career opportunity. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and ou...

Did Luke and Dan get replaced by serous book critics? Good question Jessica but no. We just get really into the weeds on character analysis in this one. Actually now that I think about it there wasn’t that much dumb stuff in this episode. Really just one brief aside about Shae’s apartment furniture. Not bad. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post Jade City: Part...

Luke and Dan decide the FEMA in Janloon needs an complete restructuring. Luke thinks everyone needs to get just a little bit more hype. Okay maybe a lot more hype. Dan starts development on the custom Yelp plugin for Janloon, and Luke makes an absurdly hot take. This one is a doozy. Shae, you definitely left out a few key details about your boyfriend. Come on. Also Beru is the biggest idiot of all...

The boys are officially #TeamHilo. Sure he has his faults, but gosh darn it he is just so genuine. Also not to split our allegiances but we are so down with #BuscemiClan. Luke and Dan reveal that Anden isn’t potty trained and probably has no intention of learning. Finally, we have an important PSA: Jade power hugs not drugs. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post Jade...

You arrive at the Prancing Pony in the middle of a stormy night. Do you take the comfort and security of a booth, or do you go with the flexibility and convenience of a table. Tweet at us @DCitaBC (11:35). Luke and Dan finally get to the big questions. What makes us human? Can a society truly ever evolve beyond its past? How does a space river reach dope status? Is there anyone dumber than Leigh H...

The hot issue of the day: Are people that ride obnoxiously loud motorcycles in quiet neighborhoods underrepresented in fantasy literature? Of course they are (7:30). We’ve all got hobbies, Dan for example enjoys a nice scenic potty break. But we’ve figured out what the Shrike likes to do with his free time, and it’s not too different from another of Dan’s hobbies. Oh and if...

Listen to the soothing, dulcet tones of Luke and Dan as they offer some much needed strategic advice to the Hegemony. Breathe deep, and allow yourself to be lulled into relaxation imagining the most delicious grey soup served among the treetops. Slowly close your eyes, and drift into slee — frozen sand pelts your face as you cry out into the howling winds. Are you seeking your lost companion...

Dan reveals his tough on crime approach to Harry Potter (9:32) before joining Luke this THURSDAY in a tag team SUPER SLAM against the ridiculous number of sexual assaults in the last three stories of this book. Dan has to explain destiny yet again (see discussion of prophecy, Touch of Iron part III) and Luke reveals his weird thing for birds. Be prepared to look up pictures of cormorants. Next wee...

We’re going back to the Witcher story with this one and also back to the personal economics lessons. Listen in for classics such as rants about Geralt’s negotiating skills, and Dan attempting to solve all of the problems (of Mimics this time). Lastly, can we all stage an intervention for Geralt about his relationship with Yennefer? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music....

Make sure to read the entirety of The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski for this one! We’ve always considered ourselves big policy wonks so finally we could get into the weeds of the tax code. More specifically the tax code on sorcery. If that’s too detailed for you we also go big picture and discuss Dandelion’s apple eating abilities. A little something for everybody. Special thank...

Our one year Anniversary is here! And Dan would like to celebrate it by rescinding his terrible hot take (3:17). We could not wait to talk about the Bloody Nine so hear us gush about a great fight scene very early on in the episode. Although somehow I think we gushed about Bremer dan Gorst even more. And make sure you let us know your thoughts on the debate over who is a better road trip partner:...

Dan decides to start this episode with a very hot take about scooters. I don’t know why. Yeah, you can skip it and tell him how dumb it was (ends at 9:40). Glokta is a popular character but he deserves some criticism, right? Tell us if you think our criticism of him is deserved. We also diagnose why Ardee has no friends, and Dan gives us another just great theory. Special thanks to VOLO for...

We are back! If you’ve been frustrated that we don’t talk about book news enough we brought in some experts. Rhonda and Erin from Pop DNA talk to us about the controversy around Guidebook for Mortals… er, Playbook to Mortals… whatever it’s called (21:10). After that we get back to our bread and butter: talking trash about characters like Jezal, Lord Marshal Varuz,&#82...

In the words of a wise author, "Garbage in, garbage out but I say if you put good stuff in, you get good stuff out." Well on this episode, Timandra Whitecastle somehow manages to take garbage in and send good stuff out! We talk about the fine art of whittling, cursing in fantasy, and a story you may have heard of about a certain special boy with a lightning shaped scar. Timandra also hel...

In this steamy last section we talk surprisingly long about the ideal bad boy vibe, listen through to the end for a very hot take. If you’re looking for advice on your office decor, we’re here for you. We can help you with the throne room that fits your personality whether you are a powerful, sexy witch or just boring old Diaz. And if you think fantasy novels don’t talk about cap...

Find out which dragon book man the boys get too excited about for the warm up (8:58). Luke hijacks Dan’s theory about Diaz and charts a course for a forbidden (but familiar) shore. Luke gets disqualified from taking the pilgrim oath and gives some horrific wartime advice. Dan makes it out of this episode looking pretty good in comparison. Nice. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro...

Summer is here and we’re starting out… hot? And by that I mean Luke is rescinding another hot take. Turns out you actually shouldn’t skip leg day. Here’s a quick question for you guys; what’s your wasp fighting technique? Cause Dan’s got a new one you should try. I promise it’s related to the book. And if you thought we weren’t going to talk about th...

Dan and Luke, defenders of the meek, come to the aid of natural gas. Sort of? (5:45 to skip to the book stuff) Professor Dan’s back at it again, this week we are learning about cold welding. And by learning I mean you should really look it up yourself because Dan is probably wrong. Shi is still a boss, Ye Wenjie needs to stop being so passive aggressive, and Luke and Dan stumble upon an incr...

Well, last episode we didn’t think of the most obvious use of the V-suit… Dan tells us the real reason the V-suit is popular and why Wang’s wife should be a little worried. And to the Trisolarans, DM us, we’ve got some advice on how to make your world a little more comfortable. Also can someone please explain the dumb-soldier joke to Dan? He’s just not getting it. Spe...

Friendship: one of the pillars of podcasting. Listen to hear about Dan and Luke’s new friends (0:00 to 4:15). Organization: another pillar, Luke and Dan give some advice on how organizational skills can help our boys in Three Body Problem. Also how big of a waste of technology is this video game? Hear our suggestions for better uses of the V-suit, and give us your ideas by tweeting with #3do...

School’s….in? Luke comes to office hours and gets himself learned. Also get hyped for our next big media project, Life Hacked (6:30). Luke and Dan debate if Essun is mother of the year, or monster of the year. Luke decides to rain on Dan’s pirate parade and freaks out about just like, some casual murder. Ya boys have some serious questions about the end of this book. and surprise...

If you’ve been apartment shopping in your life then boy do we have a #relatable rant for you (6:19). Long time listeners will not be surprised or disappointed when we talk about the pets of this world for way too long. Also Luke takes a brave stand to point out when we as readers are being manipulated. Wake up sheeple! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music. The post The Fifth...

You might be wondering, "Luke and Dan, how are you gonna make a discussion about this horrifyingly dark book funny?" We were wondering the same thing. So we start with a little catharsis, move to a few predictions, and by the end I think we stumble into a few slivers of comedic light among the darkness of systematic dehumanization. Also the little girl’s name is Damaya not Dayama a...

Dan kicks this episode off by bringing up Game of Thrones yet again, in spite of his earlier pledge to stop talking about it (5:04). As we wrap up the book Dan decides to ruin the idea of Kalad’s Phantoms for all of us, but also acknowledges how horrible his theory from Part Two was. If Luke’s feminist rant last week wasn’t enough for you, we’re here for another (slightly m...