Doc's Dumb Dumb of the Day

32-year-old Gregory Dolcine was pulled over in Geneva, FL for going too fast, 101 mph in a 55 mph zone. His excuse was a bit of a head-scratcher. He told the officer he was "speeding to avoid an animal in the roadway."  Just how fast was the animal running, Greg? And was IT chasing YOU? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brett Howard and Todd Azevedo are no longer welcome at the Ancient Ozarks Natural History Museum. They're also banned from any and all Bass Pro Shops in America. Johnny Morris owns both, and the boys are responsible for destroying around $200,000 of Johnny's property my messing with a mammoth fossil.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Sheriff's deputy in Port Orchard, Washington pulled over a 34-year-old man at 12:30 in the morning.  That man took off and got away, briefly. Authorities caught up with him an hour and a half later after he had crashed his electric unicycle in a ditch. He got a DUI for drunk unicycling. Impressive. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All 33-year-old Patrick Alexander had to do was pay his $250 bond and the Chesterfield County judge would let him go. Patrick tried to pay with 3 counterfeit $100 bills, even telling the judge to "keep the change."   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When 31-year-old Nadine Kaufman was pulled over in Boca Raton, FL, police asked for her license and registration. Instead she handed them a bag of Q-Tips and batteries. It didn't get any better after that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stealing baseball cards from Walmart doesn't seem like a huge sin. Stealing over $1000 in cards over 5 days is harder to explain, especially when you're the Very Reverend Aidan Smith, Head Priest and Dean of of Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Pittsburgh.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A man on a motorcycle was being chased by police when he decided to ditch it ... and his shoes ... and his backpack ... and his jacket ... and his pants. Police dogs had no problem tracking his scent right to his hiding spot. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Teara Smith was found, uninvited, in the kitchen of a family's home in Springfield, Missouri. She'd made a mess before enjoying a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and getting to know the family dog. After admitting to some marijuana use and saying she "mistook the house for a fair," Teara was arrested. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

33-year-old Mitchell Fairbarn of Ontario, Canada made some memories, and headlines, last week in Vegas. He took a Flamingo out of it's habitat at The Flamingo Hotel because he thought it needed help. Sounds more like Mitchell needed to sober up. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

24-year-old Spencer Anderson was arrested after destroying at least 3 license plate readers in Waterford, Michigan. Cops knew it was him since the readers caught images of their own destruction and the man who did it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

While his Mom waited back at the test center, a 26-year-old man in St Helens, England was pulled over while taking his driver's test. At first it was just for a busted taillight, but when cops caught a whiff of marijuana, the test was over.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

South Korean tax authorities learned the hard way, and at a cost of $5.6 million U.S., that before you brag online about your recent crypto bust make sure the photos you're posting don't include the wallet recovery phrases. Someone might take advantage of that. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Travis Meir of Minneapolis ordered a hydration vest off Amazon, his shipment included a loaded handgun. Amazon's trying to figure out how THAT happened. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

39-year-old Felicia Howard tried to bail someone out of jail in Madisonville, KY. "Tried" is the operative word because she handed over a stack of $100's, all stamped with "For Motion Picture Use Only." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

27-year-old Jonathan McMillian tried to run and hide from police after a traffic stop. He should've just kept running and skipped the hiding ... because he's not very good at it.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19-year-old Christopher Garcia-Caminos is now very familiar with Florida's "Super-Speeder" law. He was clocked doing 129 mph in a 55 mph zone in Clearwater. His excuse was, McDonald's took too long making his food and he was late getting back to work.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It was a "swing & a miss" for 37-year-old Justin Allen of Ormond-By-The-Sea, FL. He was arrested after taking a hammer to a white Honda SUV in a grocery store parking lot. Justin thought he was exacting revenge against an ex-girlfriend. Turns out the vehicle belonged to a grocery store employee. Didn't matter, either way ... Justin was getting arrested.  See omnystudio.com/listener for pr...

If you need to get to the Sheriff's Office to pay a fine for your open container violation, maybe don't get drunk and drive yourself there.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26-year-old Dean Young thought he found an easy target in Hialeah, FL. A landscaper had left their van open and unattended, so Dean climbed up on in. Things went downhill fast when the landscaper locked the van with Dean inside it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brandon Mattingly mowed down 15 or so mailboxes in a residential area of Mount Vernon, Indiana. His SUV inflicted quite a bit of damage, but it's hard to know if it was on purpose or just  really bad driving. Alcohol was involved.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30-year-old Josiah Darling felt the need to lie to police when they asked for his name. To his credit, he picked (possibly) the biggest liar in the history of television characters.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A 26-year-old man in Turkey was arrested after using a stolen forklift to break into a jewelry store. After scooping up a variety of gold rings, necklaces, bracelets, etc., he made his getaway on a donkey. That is not a typo.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An Amazon delivery driver was apparently enjoying BuzzBallz while on his route in China Spring, Texas. After driving over a resident's mailbox, he was witnessed stuffing empty BuzzBallz containers down a storm drain. Police arrived before the driver had time to sober up.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A burglar tried to make his getaway after breaking in to a woman's home in Derbyshire, England. He should've mapped out his escape route first. After squeezing through a fence, he found himself surrounded by 8 llamas in a farmer's field. Those llamas weren't letting him go without making sure he'd been sufficiently psychologically scarred.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

23-year-old Benjamin Rakel visited Whiskey Wings in Largo, FL and walked out on his $64.18 tab. He was arrested when he went back the next day to retrieve the phone charger he'd left the night before. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.