Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

We chat with Chris who bought in the "Cowards" banner about having fun with the stewards and fire certificates!!! Really great work Chris!!! Justin decides that Carl and Pete should play a quick fire round but they are having none of it and start bickering We look at the DNSYE End of Season Alphabet Nonsense F- K. Finally in a brief moment of sincerity we remember the late great Eddie Plumley who...

Part Two of the Post Match Phone in starts with Omar of You ‘Orns waxing lyrical on the women’s team and the lessons to be learned by the mens team, he then upsets Pete with a play off prediction that frightened us all!! 😊 Sean joins us and explains how hard it is for a new young fan to get a ticket in terms of fan ID arrangements and then explains the police presence outside of the ground may ha...

So, the season for the men finally comes to a close, as we all knew weeks ago, we weren’t going to make the play offs – except that the Women’s team has made the play off final for promotion. Wendover starts the ball rolling in terms of the apathy towards the season, an appreciation of going two up top and the need for some shithouses in the squad, Pete doesn’t know what day it is, Alan joins us i...

Savour the atmosphere of a good day out in Billericay (words that have never been used before we suspect) as the Womens team battle the Essex side whilst we wait to hear how Ipswich and Oxford battle out - to say it is a happy ending is probably not a spoiler. We chat to legend, mural subject and purveyor of fine chocolate brownies Helen Ward at the end and look forward to a rematch against Forest...

Here is part two of the non-attending Stoke City Opposition View. Peter gives an update on Parlaci Gino (please go to our pinned tweet and fill in the questionnaire), the final NAIL-BITING predictions are handed in and then we listen to Carl struggle with AI as it gives him a lecture on making predictions on sporting events! COYH!!!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch You...

So Stoke City can't be bothered to turn but its no biggy!! It's all a dead rubber and we have other rubbish to talk about!! The Player of the Season gets short shrift, Javi Gracia being shown the door at Leeds United, Carls Xmas present, Roy Hodgson (AGAIN!!!), Justin reviews SEJ merchandise and Carl tries to work out how many tampons fit in a "clutch bag"! We go through the first 5 days of the "D...

Part 2 of our post Sunderland discussion sees Uncle Ron trying to reminisce about midfielders of old whilst trying to hide from his son (his son eventually tracks him down), Pete (Ecuadorian 2nd Division expert) talks about Parlaci Gino and learning from our mistakes, Paul is all organised and has a list of four topics to discuss which we do indeed discuss, Alex joins us to express disappointment...

This is rough and raw as the twitter spaces on twitter stopped replaying so here we are: After throwing away another 2-0 lead Rich starts us off with a call to be heard against Stoke at the last game, Pete bangs on relentlessly about the Parlaci Gino and ask people to provide their questions online, We find out about Mrs Wendover's lasagne, Mrs Wendover Senior and Greg's bank holiday diet! We spea...

We’re joined by Ant from The Roker Report as we...well look forward might be too strong...preview, yes that's it, preview the match on Saturday. The usual offerings are all here: the star man, Sunderland 1.2.3 (where we find out Wilf Rostron's real name), the prediction league etc. The bleep machine has the dust blown off it before catching fire through overuse. For the love of God, how many more...

Mal joins us from the road and has good words for Kamara working hard but most importantly acknowledging the supporters who travelled at the end of the game. Mal passes the supporters coach and gets a wave, we are joined by Rookery Boi (Happy Birthday today sir!) for an excellent debut call pointing out the we are now top…..of the bottom half of the table!! We talk to the Chorleywood Common touris...

We reflect on a disappointing performance away Paul joins us and is the first to deal with another of Pete's stupid question about signing players leaving cards and gives it and the performance short shrift, Wendover Horn joins us from his boudoir and starts talking about Andrew French's interviews, transfers and diets (not just using Photoshop instead Pete!), Louis discusses reality, Nigerian cur...

Sorry for the delay getting this out. In part two of the Cardiff Post Mortem: We speak to Loyal Hornet who captures the mood perfectly and then to Danny who walked 70 miles for to raise money for the Turkish Earthquake relief effort but feels completely disconnected from the club at present echoing the feelings of many fans, we talk John Parslow who’s dog was as lethargic as the Watford team after...

We’re joined by Ant from To Hull And Back podcast as we preview this weekend’s match away to Hull City. After much talk about Turkey we take a look back at a player that represented both teams in black and white when he wasn’t competing in Eurovision with Brotherhood Of Man.  Steve Terry’s headband is discussed, Peter’s Star Man isn’t, the prediction league is treated with the contempt it deserves...

I'd like to apologise firs because in the main, I try to stay as neutral as possible whilst hosting the Post Match Phone In. It is a privilege to talk to our supporters at a time when emotions are heightened but after the Cardiff capitulation I failed to be neutral. My anger wasn't reserved or even mainly to do with the pathetic attempt at football that was presented it but the increased level and...

Without a Cardiff representative and without a tardy Carlos at the start, Pete and Justin cover off the “preview” element of the podcast in record time in order to talk about amongst other things Nigel Pearson’s forearms, liking defenders that shout at other people, Carl turns up but needs to untangle his leads, our latest guest from America - Jack and how as hosts we are just rubbish!! Guided tou...

We finish off our chat with Chris split with a trip to a bad tempered Carl with a low battery and more importantly Jack from the US on his birthday getting to the Vic for the first time ever for a win (just pipping Beans on Toast as a match day/birthday experience into second place), John Parlsow joins us from Chorleywood Common with a charity request (whilst woefully underestimating the cost of a...

A strange game settled by an own goal and goalkeeping handling error goal, but we still look somewhat dysfunctional. Ryans' Andrews and Porteous get praise as does an electrifying performance from Pedro and this is enough to see off a well-received Nigel Pearson’s Bristol City side to move within 3 points of the top six (but still a highly unlikely target) Brett starts the calls with an odd studen...

David from the Forever Bristol City podcast joins us to preview the forthcoming match at Vicarage Road. There's a considerable amount of chat about Keith Millen, nobody remembers Gerard Lavin, the prediction league is it's usual shambles and we marvel at the size of Nigel Pearson's forearms, This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. The views in this Podcast are not n...

On Good Friday something unpleasant went on - and we're not talking about Neil Warnock disappearing back up to Yorkshire with three points. A number of people started to question the ownership of the club. We are all in favour of communications with the clubs hierarchy and are trying to help organise just that however on a day that saw some banners unveiled, it appears that only those critical of...

This half is quite surreal - even for us!! Also a regular "F" Bomb ot 15 are dropped even more than normal So - Jack tells us about a dream where he became Luton Town Assistant Manager for 15 minutes, Sean gets lost trying to find the Coventry City stadium but winds up at the training ground because of a disobedient sat nav, Ian Bacon and John Parslow end up chatting with each other about “Cofundu...

2 goals up at half time at the CBS Arena and playing better in a 4-3-3 shape Watford let a goal in and for the final half an hour are holding on against a Sky Blues side that really hadn't troubled us until then. We have Watford and Coventry City fans views, we ask the question was or wasn't it a penalty (it was!!), Ellie tells up about her weight loss, Wendover tells us about his Spag Bol and we...

Part Two of the Huddersfield post mortem where we hear from a couple of first time callers and dip into the 5 word and long form reviews and discuss what we think the rest of the season might or might not look like. As ever thank you to everyone who contributes in writing or joining us live - we wanted this to be a barometer of fans opinions and you all make it that and more - thanks. Oh and sorry...

And the hits just keep on coming..... after the derby result the faithful come to Vicarage Road in the hope of a reaction from the playing squad to both the previous game but also the management comments made about them. The hope is that we would see character, resilience, determination, energy and a determination to win each individual battle. What we saw wasn't that bar a very honourable mention...

Recorded ahead of the disastrous home performance against Huddersfield, we recorded this looking ahead to Monday's trip Coventry with David from the "Whats the craic" podcast. We discuss amongst other things Coventry's season, their change in ownership, Mike Ashley, Victor Gyokeres and other players, Mark Robins, John Eustace, Marvin Sordell (who Justin fails to recognise) and exactly how fast Mic...

You're not expected to listen to this - especially if you just want to follow the football and don't care for following the financial performance of the club! Here Pete goes through his interpretation of the accounting report released last Friday 31st March which covers the 2021-2022 accounting year for the club. This is Pete's genuine reading of the accounts published and we are more than happy t...