DNA Surprises

If you’ve had a DNA surprise, how many times have you been told you should write a book? This week’s episode is a story that is truly stranger than fiction. Traci shares how, at 19, her mother revealed the truth about her paternity. This truth sent Traci reeling, but her mother insisted that she always knew the truth. Her mom went on to explain the events that led them to that moment. It’s a story...

"I knew it!" Or,  "I had no idea." When it comes to DNA surprises, some people are completely blindsided. Others felt like they knew it all along. Danielle never felt like she fit in with her family. Her mother died when she was just three years old, and for the rest of her childhood, she was raised by her dad, who travelled often for work, and her aunt, her mother’s sister. Danielle knew that her...

Black sheep. Golden child. In the DNA surprise community, these are labels we hear a lot. In this week’s episode, Sarah shares her emotional journey before, during, and after, her DNA discovery. Growing up, she never felt like she fit in, but her concerns were often dismissed. Many years later, her suspicions were confirmed–her dad, Joe was not her biological father. But she didn’t know for sure w...

Welcome to season 10 of DNA Surprises. This season is jampacked with incredible stories that explore the emotional journeys of DNA discoveries. If you’ve had a DNA surprise, you’ll hear stories that you may relate to and gain inspiration from. If you haven’t had a DNA surprise, this season will continue to give you insight into the complexities of identity, family, and the human experience. In thi...

Intergenerational trauma. It’s something we talk about a lot here. The most common cycles we discuss are the patterns of keeping secrets and the patterns of shame. In this week’s episode, you will hear a story about a cycle of NPEs.  When Bobbi became pregnant with her third child, she knew that was not in a position to care for another baby. She relinquished her child to a family member, but kept...

Who would I have become if I had known the truth? How were the interactions I had throughout my life colored by an unknown truth? These are questions so many of us ask ourselves, over and over and over again. The reality is, we will never know, no more than we would know who we would have become if we’d been born in another country. Part of the DNA surprise experience is coming to terms with this....

If you’ve had a DNA surprise, you might listen to this podcast from the perspective of someone who just uncovered their results. Or did it happen years ago, when consumer DNA testing became popular? What has changed for you since the day you opened your test results? In this week’s episode, I’m joined by a guest from Season 1, Crystal. Crystal had her DNA surprise the same month and year that I di...

When people uncover DNA surprises, they are often left to unpack the mysteries themselves. From the who, what, when and where around their births to where their newly identified family members are today, we spend hours searching newspapers, online archives, and obituaries. Many times, we find what we’re looking for. Sometimes, we don’t.  In this week’s episode, BettyJo shares how any of her questi...

Did you know that the DNA Surprises podcast community meets in a virtual support group every month? We started the Third Thursday Meetup in 2023 to serve as an additional resource for NPEs, late-discovery donor-conceived people, and late-discovery adoptees to find community and support. Third Thursdays have quickly become one of my favorite nights of the month, due in no small part to the two peop...

Not every DNA surprise has a happy ending. And sometimes, what seems like a happy ending takes a turn. But the opposite is also true. In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned the truth about her paternity and had to wait several years before she could identify her biological father. When she finally found him, he was receptive, before quickly closing off any hope of a relationship…un...

Many people in the DNA surprise community grew up with dads, or birth certificate fathers, BCFs as they’re often called. We are raised by these men and then one day, through a DNA test or other means, we learn that they are not our biological fathers. But what if you never really felt like you had a dad? How does a DNA surprise affect you? In this week’s episode, Alissa shares how her free-spirite...

DNA Surprises bring up a range of emotions, and if there’s one thing I hope I’ve made clear on this show, all those emotions are valid. In this week’s episode, Joan shares why her DNA surprise was more of an interesting adventure than a dramatic event.  Her story is one of optimism, curiosity, and patience - it took her a decade to solve her mystery, and many questions remain unanswered. She discu...

Welcome to the 100th episode of DNA surprises! OK, technically I’ve had more than 100 episodes already, but this is the 100th DNA Surprise story I’ve had the privilege of sharing with you all. So, in celebration of 100 episodes, I thought we’d take it allll the way back to the beginning. In this week’s episode, I’m joined once again by Yvette, my very first guest on the podcast.  I am eternally gr...

It’s your story. You have the right to tell it. This is something we hear a lot in the DNA surprise community - I say it a lot myself. In this week’s episode, Ruby shares a unique perspective on this philosophy. Ruby took her DNA test expecting to learn more about her Mexican heritage, and instead uncovers a half-sibling and learns her biological father is different from the man who raised her. Ru...

What would you do if you found out that your biological father wasn’t the man who raised you, but someone you’d known in the periphery of much of your life? Someone who’d photographed weddings, even done your taxes? In this episode, Beth shares her journey after discovering her biological father was a long-time colleague of her mother. Beth talks about the strong connections she had with her birth...

What never fails to surprise me is how innocently DNA surprises begin. In this episode, we hear from Doe - yes, that’s a pseudonym - who uncovered her  DNA surprise in 2021.  A skillful genealogist, Doe bought a DNA test for her husband, who was curious about his family history. As it just so happened, she purchased the test during a buy one, get one free sale, so she decided to take a test hersel...

Welcome to the Season 8 finale of DNA Surprises.  In this episode, I’m joined by Deanna, who shares her NPE story. Deanna has experienced unspeakable amounts of hardship in her life, from abandonment to abuse to her DNA discovery.  Her story is difficult - and powerful. You’ll hear how she’s still reckoning with the what-might-have-beens and the whys. You’ll also learn how she’s moving forward, in...

Every DNA Surprise is unique—the who, what, when, and why surrounding an NPE vary from person to person. Still, after nearly 100 interviews, I’ve noticed consistent themes in these stories. One of those themes is a complicated mother-child relationship.  When Jennifer took her DNA test, she had no idea that her family tree would change forever. As it turns out, both her mother and grandmother had...

DNA Surprises are confusing. They’re confusing for the people they happen to as they try to make sense of newfound information. With so many characters, twists, and turns in each story, they’re also confusing for people listening to DNA Surprises stories. This week’s DNA surprise story is no exception. In fact, it features a triple-NPE. So before we begin, I’m going to break down who’s who. Jessic...

To paraphrase The Beatles, we get by with a little help from our friends. This is especially true when it comes to DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, coworkers Robyn and Ida share their NPE discoveries, which happened right around the same time. In fact, Robyn used her genealogy skills to identify Ida’s father. They each reflect on their personal journeys and how they’ve supported each other a...

DNA surprises rarely happen in a vacuum. So many of the people I speak to have experienced other traumas throughout their lives, long before sending off DNA tests. In this week’s episode, Courtney shares how her mother’s mental health struggles played a large part in her childhood.  She knew she was adopted by her stepfather when she was young and grew up feeling abandoned and ignored by her biolo...

In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I chat with Iliamari Vazquez Houston, a therapist based out of the Phoenix metro area. Iliamari will facilitate a session on generational trauma - and generational healing - at the  DNA Surprise Retreat , September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ. We discuss what generational trauma is and how we can begin to break the cycles of secrets and shame in the DNA surpr...

Sometimes, after DNA surprises are revealed, our relationships with our raised parents become strained. Sometimes, this leads to estrangement. But for others, these surprises simply compound already strained relationships.  When Dawn had her DNA surprise, she was already virtually no contact with her mother. In this week’s episode, she shares why she initially made the decision to go little to no...

In this bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I chat with Jenna Hedstrom, E-RYT 500 and Expert Breathwork Facilitator. Jenna will lead a breathwork session at the  DNA Surprise Retreat , September 19-22, 2024 in Phoenix, AZ. During our conversation, we discuss what breathwork is and how it benefits us. We also chat about how to overcome blockers around practicing something new, like breathwork.  If this...

(CW: Suicide, abuse)A common question in our community is “when is the right time to tell the truth about parentage?” While some say there is never a good time to tell, many believe that the truth should be shared from birth. In this week’s episode, Miranda’s story highlights the importance of telling early - and often.  Miranda’s mother never hid the truth about her paternity, but she still recal...