DNA of a DIVORCE

shout out to therapy. now i've gotta unpack my own shit and focus on my problems and no one elses.   Get therapy - we all likely need it. I'm doing OK - but with the baggage that we all are carrying, most likely has all of us in place where we need to unpack a few things and talk through some things.  RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespo...

I didn't ever show her she was good enough, even though she was. I thought that by staying married to her, paying the bills, helping or taking care of so much around the house, jumping in or taking lead with stuff with the kids would show her that.   I was wrong. People, like me, need Atta-boys. I didn't give her any of those.  I'm not sure how I could expect her to be, or feel adeq...

It's been good, and not good. It's hard to put it into words but I'll try. I miss my wife - FACT I am enjoying my time alone - FACT I miss my family - FACT I do not miss my family - FICTION  so i don't know - I'm just a ball of emotions. We are divorcing, it's coming. It's ok.  RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Subscribe Bel...

Seriously, what does a teenager know about marriage, or what that could or should look like? What do 2 people that came from broken homes, and haven't lived much life yet know about being married? What in the world was I thinking?  Now as a grown man, with a lot more life in my rearview mirror, I now KNOW all of the things that I didn't know about, and it's almost laughable thinking about mys...

I was a the Point guard, the Quarterback, the Goalee, the Coach, the Fan, and the owner of the team.   I just tried to do too much, and gave no freedom, control, or agency to anyone else, my wife, over the course of our marriage. Just because she made certain mistakes, why didn't I give her more chances?  The answer is, it stung me. Human nature says, you don't want to be stung agai...

I took down the first 10 seasons of this stupid podcast. I did it because I just got in over my head. I was cocky and arrogant in thinking I could solve these very complicated problems for myself over time. NAH not a thing.   I need help, I needed a therapist. I may need a psychiatrist. Who knows.  I just know I needed to go on a journey to get to know myself, so that I can fix myse...

i didn't realize WHAT i had WHO i had what could our marriage have been if my perspective were different. Think of it. If you knew that the bacon you had with every burger you had since you were a kid would lead you DIRECTLY to your triple bypass you need at 42 years old...would you start the BACON HABIT?  Probably not...  Had my perspective been different, I maybe would have - nah I DEF...

I WAS NOT A GOOD HUSBAND.  I WAS NOT A GOOD FATHER. I WAS NOT A GOOD MAN because of all this.   I was supposed to help or save my family, sometimes from themselves. How can I do that If my entire life is a $#!T SHOW?  RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podc...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Is this gaslighting again? Does she really believe this? I'm home every night, cook meals, keep my cell phone unlocked and open for ANYONE to pry through if they want to.  I cheated before, but I won't again. Maybe her inability to understand this is a problem for us - well DUH, YA THINK?! ...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe I'm not sure how to solve the problem of issue redirection. I think it's in the dynamic of our marriage and most of the heterosexual relationship partners I've talked to.  I'm not sure if this means I 'should' get divorced, or understand this is just HOW MARRIAGE IS?! I'm #soconfused  Subscr...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe I don't know UP from DOWN or LEFT from uh uh uh...(some other direction) I go on a small vacation to do something I love, and this amount of FREEDOM was a good use of my time.   Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you want to Gauge h...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe I swear I'm being pranked, gaslit, or something. God has a sick sense of humor.  I just really want consistency.   Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you want to Gauge how angry you or someone you might have experienced is or w...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe My wife is one of the biggest lovers, with a very big heart. She's an enabler and I don't think she understands what that really means. It's almost killed our marriage or any chance for repair.  Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you wan...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Seriously I'm an Idiot! Why do I refuse to see reality on reality's terms?  Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you want to Gauge how angry you or someone you might have experienced is or was.* Instagram : @divorcediariespodcast Twitter :...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Weighing the problems - they really seem too heavy to continue lifting.  I can only take so much, and so can she. Eventually, we'll buckle or break under the pressures of the problems we strive to solve with each other.  Maybe we've just reached what we can BOTH UNDERSTAND is THE END? ...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe The rules are just different. She can do and say things that I can't.  SPOILER ALERT, I'm not really upset about that. It's just a fact of life.  I think what's got me so frustrated is that I'm called a hypocrite EARLY AND OFTEN.  Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REP...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe It's clearer now than ever. We are NOT on the SAME PAGE and WE NEVER HAVE BEEN. Is that true for you too?  Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you want to Gauge how angry you or someone you might have experienced is or was.* Instagram : @...

RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe It's like my wife thinks I'm lying to her. Words hurt, I'm wondering why my wife thinks it's ok to speak to ANYONE, let alone your husband in a disrespectful way? I'm not sure what the misunderstanding is. Speak to people with respect. I don't even want my wife's love anymore. Maybe I never did. ...

neuroticism is not bad so why do i react so poorly? Those were honest questions I needed to ask myself in therapy. WHAT IS MY DEAL? I've got to get my life together, and DONT REACT before you REACT.   I am just in my feminine feelings, when I react.   #manupbro  RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Subscribe Belo...

No mistype. We all need therapy. I'm glad I'm in there now, it's been very very helpful. I'm able to have a place, a safe one to say things that are wrong, truths I feel I have, have them validated by someone that only has a vested interest in our relationship.   Specifically, the relationship of me becoming better. The only thing in my area of responsibility is to be honest, so I can be...

Divorce seems to find most people. According to : https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/divorce-rate-by-state About 90% of people in Western cultures marry by age 50. In the United States, about 50% of married couples divorce, the sixth-highest divorce rate in the world. Subsequent marriages have an even higher divorce rate: 60% of second marriages end in divorce, and 73% of all third m...

How are my levels of serenity? Am I doing better or worse? RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you want to Gauge how angry you or someone you might have experienced is or was.* Instagram : @divorcediariespodcast Twitter : @divorcediaries2 Patr...

I hate that we are progressing this way, or digressing that way. I can't call it now. Loading up the storage space I put all of MY stuff on one side, and ALL of her stuff on the other. I knew where we were headed, I just never wanted to admit it. Divorce.  RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED...

The questions are swirling around in my head. We BOTH were married to sisters. There's no one that really knows what I'm going through better than him. He's literally a GOD SEND. RED PILL RAGED Episodes | only accessible here: https://anchor.fm/divorcediariespodcast/subscribe Subscribe Below: The TOTALLY RED PILLED RAGED DO NOT REPEAT Podcast on PATREON *Only Listen if you want to Gauge how angry...

I was angry and mad and sad and bad and hurt and sad and mad and.....  You get the point. When I started recording over a year ago I was just a mad man, with nothing but hurt that he wanted to unleash into/onto the world. I wasn't being HEARD by WHO I felt I needed to be heard by. So I freaked out.   My weakness and lack of manhood was on full display as a man-child crying out for h...