Divorced but not dead, yet.

I've gone through a lot of name changes with my Ex over the years. From Hubby and Babe to Ex, Liar, 'My child's father', that man I wasted years on lol. I'm now in a place where the chronic animosity is gone, and his new name is Wasband. In this week's episode I share my journey of healing through the hurt and anger my divorce caused in order to allow me to view my Wasband as my coparent and not t...

I love being a boy mom! I remember being pregnant and feeling like one of the perks of having a boy was that my husband would be more hands-on as our son got older. Now that I'm divorced, that thought terrifies me. What if one day my son looks at me and says, "I want to go live with my dad"! Although I'm grateful my ex-husband is hands-on and has a great relationship with my son, it scares me that...

In this episode I will share my experience of negotiating spousal support during the divorce process. I realized that my inability to speak up for myself, my people pleasing ways, pride, and emotional exhaustion heavily influenced the decisions I made. I hope that you will learn from my mistakes and know that whatever support you get from your ex, financially, should not be attached to shame or fe...

In this week’s episode, I share what it felt like to find out my ex-husband is engaged! As you can imagine, I went through a roller coaster of emotions. The truth of the matter is, men tend to move on very quickly after divorce, so brace yourself. What I found to help me is keeping a list and checking it twice. Lol. My therapist recommended that I make a list of all the things that brought me hurt...

Birthdays are a time for reflection. There were a lot of birthdays where I was depressed, angry and frustrated. I didn't like the state of my life and I felt like there was nothing I could do about it. This past year was the first time in a long time that I looked back and liked what I saw. Last year I turned forty. During that time, I started dating, started my podcast, picked up a lot of excitin...

In this week’s episode, I share my journey to rebuilding my confidence and discovering my self worth. Living through a bad relationship and going through a divorce really affects your confidence and challenges your self worth. I’ve learned that getting rid of negative self talk and replacing it with positive affirmations really helped change the way I felt about myself. Grab a piece of paper or so...

Just like most young girls who grew up on Disney movies, I couldn't wait for my Prince Charming to come into my life. The day that my ex-husband proposed was one of the happiest days of my life. I have been chosen! I was no longer a girlfriend honey, I was a Fiancé and soon-to-be wife. I wore my ring with pride. I looked down at it, and it reflected back to me the love I'd been waiting for. Then l...

This week I decided to rerelease one of my first and favorite episodes. It's important to go back to laugh and reflect on my journey in order to see how far I have come and how far I have to go. In this episode I discuss my journey from fear to freedom. Sometimes we need a little push to get over our fears. For me, my first push came from becoming a mother. My second push involved me naked in publ...

How many times have you answered "I'm fine" when someone asked how you were? You said you were fine, but you were far from it. Why do we do that? Why do be pretend? I spent the majority of my life being dishonest with others and being dishonest with myself. I realized that my goal going forward is to create a life for myself that when someone asks me how I am, I can actually say "fine" and mean it...

Your peace is priceless. It took me years to learn that lesson. I spent years in a bad marriage, anxious, depressed and emotionally exhausted. It wasn't until I moved into my own space that I experienced peace for the first time in a long time. I realized that I was holding on to a 'piece of man', my ex. In exchange, I was giving up my peace and peace of mind. It wasn't worth it! Connect with me o...

It's Valentine's Day! It's that time when you are faced with a holiday that is all about love. It can be very triggering if you're in an unhealthy relationship, or you're alone. Everywhere you turn, you are being bombarded by how someone should be making you feel special or loved on this day and if you're in an unhealthy relationship, going through a divorce or single, that's probably not going to...

My entire life I've been a people pleaser. At the time, I viewed it as being selfless. I spent my life neglecting my wants and needs in an effort to make others happy. Of course, I brought my people-pleasing ways into my marriage. I thought that being "selfless" would get me the love and approval I craved. I found myself shrinking who I was, never saying no or holding him accountable. Eventually,...

Sometimes we hold on to our past in ways we don't realize. I found myself holding on to two garbage bags of my ex-husband's things for two years! I'd convinced myself I was just procrastinating. I couldn't find the time to walk them 50 feet to the garbage can. I was lying to myself. Once I got real with myself, I realized that holding on to those bags was holding on to my past. How many of you are...

This week we discuss the concept of 'Doing it Poorly'. I learned that almost 85% of people quit on their New Year's resolutions on the second Friday in January, also known as, "Quitters Day". I've been one of those people year after year and I finally realized why. I put such high expectations on myself. Setting goals that were completely out of character or routine for myself. As soon as I wavere...

As women, we are innately powerful beings. We have the ability to give life and the ability to create the lives we deserve. In this week's episode I share the journey of some of the strongest women in my life, my grandmothers and my mother. The women that came before me didn’t have many options. Growing up in a time when women, especially women of color, lacked access to resources, education and i...

On this week's episode we discuss how the new year helps us reflect and push us to create a new life or version of ourselves. When it comes to divorce, January is referred to as ‘Divorce Month.’ The thought of a new year being a new start is a motivating factor for a lot of people to not continue another year in their unhappy marriages. Deciding to end a life to begin a new and more authentic life...

In this week’s episode I share some of the dilemmas you have to face when you experience Christmas as a divorcee. I cover everything from splitting time with kids, whether to buy your ex a gift to creating an elf on the shelf and a Santa story that makes sense to your kids now living in two homes. Christmas is a big holiday that’s filled with holiday cheer and holiday stress. Dealing with the chan...

In this week's episode I share my experience of being a fifth wheel on an unexpected double date. My initial reaction was ‘Count Me Out’! I felt that if I went I would feel lonely and uncomfortable. I hate to say, I was right lol. Although I felt alone and uncomfortable at times, I realized my fear of being uncomfortable was less than I thought it would be. I now understand that although social se...

In this week's episode I share how having limiting beliefs keeps us stuck and holds us back from accomplishing our goals and living the lives we want and deserve. Instead of waiting for new years to make changes in your life, start today. Waiting season is over. It is your season and your opportunity to create the life you deserve. Let’s overcome our limiting beliefs that are keeping us stuck and...

In this week's episode I share my experience of my first major holiday alone, Thanksgiving. I never imagined not being with family, my child or friends on such a big holiday. It was hard! I felt angry, depressed, disappointed, and lonely. If this is your first holiday on your divorce journey, my advice to you is to allow yourself to feel all of your emotions, allow the people you love to support y...

In this week’s episode I share my first social with my ex and his new family. We all know that after a divorce both parties will move on. It’s one thing to know that and another to experience it. I had a lot of anxiety after finding out my ex, his new partner and her children would be attending our son’s birthday party. Would it be awkward? What would people say? It turned out that it was the perf...

In this week's episode I share my journey of coparenting. For some reason, I thought that divorce and coparenting meant complete shared responsibility. I soon realized that although I was now divorced, my role as 'Primary Parent' still remained. All the decision-making and managing our child’s life still falls on me. I quickly became resentful. Even though my responsibilities haven’t changed, our...

In this week’s episode I share one of the possibilities of dating as a woman of a certain age. I’ve realized that, as a woman in her forties, I can date a man in his late twenties to whatever age I want. That means I could have the option of dating a man or his dad and both ages could work for me. It comes down to if you want to be considered a cougar, wanting a sugar daddy, or somewhere in betwee...

In this week’s episode I share my journey to deciding what’s most important to me in my next partner. The fact that he’s a good man or that he can provide for me financially. Of course, in a fairytale you wouldn’t have to choose, but this is real life. If you are a successful woman, the number of men that are at your level financially is lower. We’ve been conditioned to think the most important ro...

On this week’s episode I share my journey in letting go of the “shame” that we carry during the divorce process. What I’ve learned is a lot of the opinions we think people are going to have about us are our projected inner thoughts. I’m a failure, no one will want me, I’m going to negatively impact my kids. Let go of the BS! Making the decision to leave an unhealthy marriage took courage. You will...