Divorce University Online

5 Strategies to Stay Centered with a Narcissist   – Episode 323 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. A narcissist will do all they can to keep you "off center" emotionally. It makes you easier to manipulate. One of the first steps in regaining your power after this kind of toxic relationship is to learn to keep your emotional center no matter what they do. This takes time and practice given t...

5 Red Flags of a Narcissistic Co-Parent   – Episode 322 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I'll give you five common red flags in child custody that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissistic or high-conflict co-parent. Understanding what you are dealing with is the first step to solving the problem. I'll also share 3 tips to help you combat these red flags. To learn m...

3 Ways Narcissists Condition You   – Episode 321 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We have unknowingly spent our entire relationship with the narcissist being conditioned. This conditioning results in continued behaviors even once the relationship is over. They become the same tools the narcissist uses to manipulate you in co-parenting your children. I'll give you three of the most common...

5 Common Ways Narcissistic Co-Parents Manipulate – Episode 320 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. There are patterns of behavior narcissists use to manipulate people. We'll talk about 5 of the most common ones seen, particularly in co-parenting and one simple technique you can use to greatly reduce the effectiveness of the narcissist's manipulation. To learn more about how I can support you...

Change of Circumstances in Child Custody   – Episode 319 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most states require a "change of circumstances" for a parent to apply for a change in the current custody orders. Some states also have a minimum timeline to file for a modification unless there is some danger to the child. Change of circumstances can vary but there are a few issues that tend to be t...

Episode 318 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Learning to successfully navigate custody is similar to learning to play chess. You need to understand strategy and learn basic tactics before you can advance your skills. In this episode, I'll give you seven strategies to help you level up your custody game, regardless of what stage of the game you're at. To learn more about how I can support...

Does it Help Your Case When the Other Parent Lies   – Episode 317 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The vast majority of clients complain about the other parent lying. Many times we feel like this should be an obvious key to our success if we can prove it. But, like everything else in the child custody system, it isn't always that simple. In this episode, I'll break down how it can be help...

Fighting a Corrupt Child Custody System – Episode 316 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you walk out of Court over and over and are not happy with the outcome, it can start to feel like the system is rigged or that you're dealing with bias. And, that may be true. But, whether it's true or not, in order to succeed, you need to know how to navigate the system in the appropriate way. Att...

Child Custody Is Never Fair – Episode 315 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Fairness is our inherent expectation from the justice system. Anyone new to the child custody process quickly becomes disillusioned when they realize that fairness is nowhere in the equation. And how you conduct yourself in light of this realization can make or break your custody results. To learn more about how I...

Your Attorney's Agenda in Child Custody – Episode 314 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Complaints about attorney's frequently come up in conversations about child custody. Some of this is because attorneys are inherently bad at explaining things in simple easy to understand language for clients. And some of it is because clients are so uninformed about the entire legal process, not to men...

The Power of Poise – Episode 313 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Maintaining poise is an overlooked advantage in child custody. The ability to maintain poise can give you credibility with the Court, help you to gain a mental advantage over your ex, and help you feel more empowered in the process. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression so let's get it right the firs...

Pacing When Communicating with a Narcissist – Episode 312 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Pacing is a great technique that I rarely hear talked about in communicating with a narcissist. It can slow their attacks, stop the incessant arguing and best of all, put you back in control of the conversation. Pacing can also bring peace to the chaos if you can learn to use it effectively. To lear...

Should I or Shouldn't I – Episode 311 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I often get asked by clients if they should or shouldn't bring up a concern or something they are worried about regarding their coparent. Does it make them look difficult? Does it matter? Will the Court care? In this episode, I'll give you some criteria to help you know if you should or shouldn't and more importantly,...

When the Narcissist Texts You: The Anxiety and Chaos Inside – Episode 310 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We all know that feeling, when you see your narcissist's name pop up on your phone or when you get a message notice and you are immediately triggered. Your emotional world starts spinning out of control and you haven't even opened the message! The familiar patterns kick in and you're...

My Ex Is the Problem – Episode 309 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I get it, I have an ex too and yes, many times our ex causes all kinds of drama and problems that effect the kids. But, if you go into Court trying to convince your Judge that your ex is the problem, things probably will not go well for you. Often, after about five minutes of talking with someone, I can tell why they aren...

Legal Custody Disagreements – Episode 308 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic co-parent, legal custody issues are often difficult to navigate. If you are unable to reach agreement then filing in Court becomes the necessary step to resolve issues. But, that obviously gets very expensive and very stressful. So what are your alternatives? To learn more a...

It Takes A Village – Episode 307 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We've all heard this expression especially when it comes to the physical labor of raising children. But your village is just as important to the emotional support of both you and your children. So, who should be part of your village? And how can you ensure that you are leveraging your village for maximal positive benefit fo...

What Is Your Priority? – Episode 306 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your priority your ex or your kids? Now, I think any parent would say, the kids of course. But we often, unintentionally, communicate to the court and other experts that our ex is the priority. This happens through the behaviors we exhibit and the language we use not only with our ex, but when we speak to the court a...

It's the Little Things – Episode 305 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, it's often the little things that become the most frustrating. I've seen many clients who come out of Court and realize many of the details of their situation did not get addressed. And even when they do get addressed, a narcissistic co-parent won't follow the orders...

When Your Child Refuses to Go – Episode 304 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Children refusing to transition to the other parent can become a very problematic issue in child custody. We tend to see this more frequently in the teenage years but I have seen it happen even with young children. Sometimes, it can be so severe that a child will self-harm if forced to go. However, the Court expe...

How to Feel Certain in Child Custody – Episode 303 of the Divorce University Online Podcast.   We tend to feel certain about things that are familiar. But the entire child custody process is full of unfamiliar things. And, to boot, if you're coming out of a narcissistic relationship, you've probably been stripped of the ability to trust yourself, which only adds to your uncertainty. In this episod...

The Enormity of the Tedium – Episode 302 of the Divorce University Online Podcast.   How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time. I'm sure you've heard that joke before but it's no joke when you are dealing with the overwhelm that comes from the family court process. In this episode, I'll help you understand some of the tedious aspects of court and give you my key to learning to manage the enorm...

Determining What Is Important in Child Custody – Episode 301 of the Divorce University Online Podcast.   One of the biggest struggles I see for parents is understanding what is and isn't important to the Court in your child custody case. What seems logical to us is not always what is important to the Court. Parents often focus on whether they are a better parent than the other person, or the other...

The Narcissist is the Key – Episode 300 of the Divorce University Online Podcast.   I know, you're thinking the key to what? We often think of all the negatives that come from having been in a narcissistic relationship: the trauma, the frustration, the ongoing parenting conflict, and the list goes on. But like any trial in life, there are also positive things in your life that the narcissist is th...

Custody is a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Episode 299 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The Courts have both short-term and long-term issues to resolve in custody cases. When cases start of with a "bang" like a domestic violence filing or emergency orders, the Court is looking at short-term issues. When the outcome is unfavorable to us, we often panic and begin doing things that sink us in the...