Divorce Hacker: Survive to Thrive

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “Divorce is emotional, but it’s also a business transaction.” 3:39 “Start by not making any additionally big changes at the moment.” 4:09 “There is an assumption that everything has to be divided right now.” 6:00 “There are a lot more options than we actually identify in that emotional state.”  6:41 “I share your enthusiasm at helping them become f...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “They’re committed to resolving it without ever going to court and doing it in a collaborative, consensual manner.” - Jeff at 6:22  “This idea that one person is filing for a divorce and the other’s responding to it. In many ways, does set the tone for the entire divorce.” - Jeff at 9:50 “Inherent in mediation and collaborative divorce is this idea...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “Where can I make a direct impact?” 3:30 “My ex and I went to coparenting therapy and I recommend this to all clients that have a contentious relationship where there’s a child involved.” 6:25 “If this is really about your child, and you have to be reflective, you have to be introspective, then you will do everything and anything to ensure your chi...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes - “It’s being able to get to the root of communication, so that the emotion doesn’t get us off track.” 2:21 “If you as a receiver can let somebody feel understood, feel heard, there’s 90% of the problem.” 2:48 “When you’re the receiver in a conversation, in communication, your job is to keep everything about the sender.” 6:12 “If we can work together...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes   “I had three main ideas I wanted to follow through my divorce; kindness, respect, and generosity.” 4:29 “Hey, we’re not going to be married anymore, now what?” 5:40 “My number one goal in getting divorced was to not be bitter.” - Ann @ 6:35 “I will give you 100% custody, without any strings attached and no no anger whatsoever, in exchange for 100% v...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes   “A trauma bond is a dysfunctional relationship between two emotionally connected people, and usually there’s a perpetrator and a victim.” 4:00 “The research shows that women will go back to their abuser 4-7 times before they actually leave.” 6:29 “There’s a symptom called cognitive dissonance that is caused by a trauma bond.” 6:51 “In therapy, you w...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes  “The goal of yoga, the word itself means to connect or to join together.” 4:30 “There’s nothing like the yoga practice, in my personal experience, to really help ground us.” - Ann @ 7:27 “I wrote my book specifically with the goal of trying to break things down so it wouldn’t be so overwhelming.” - Ann @ 8:31 “A divorce is a loss that is like the gri...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes   “When we got divorced, I didn’t want to throw away the friendship.” 6:43 “We kept our sense of humor.  We kept some respect, and we kept kids in our line of vision the entire time, we were playing the long game.” 7:13 “I really needed to look and feel good for myself.” 8:47 “I really do have the power to change my mood, my body, my social life.” 10:...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “Obstacles plus attraction equal desire.” - Ann quoting Ester Perel @ 9:52 “The other thing that’s equally as damaging that’s come out in the research is where there’s contemptuous coldness.” - Ann @ 11:14 “We don’t have a divorce problem, we have a marriage problem.” - Ann @ 13:12 “Marriage is the only place where we sign a contract for life.” - A...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “I realized that I could be really helpful.” 3:23 “I think marriage is fantastic.  I’m just opposed to staying in a bad marriage.” 6:53 “We don’t have a divorce problem.  We have a marriage problem.” 7:39 Studies have shown that staying together for the children, if it’s a bad marriage, is a bad idea, it’s not good for the kids.” 13:56 “Partners wi...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “If you deviate from what is optimal for kids, it’s going to have a negative impact.” 3:22 “It is difficult to be your best self all the time.” 5:55 “Our home is really where we develop our sense of self, and our sense of what the world is like.” 8:01 “Every challenge presents an opportunity for change.” 9:07 “Our kids need us to admit when we are...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “When there’s love, it usually turns to hate pretty quick.” 12:22 “I'd rather feel better than than less than.” 17:31 “That’s been a saving grace of mine actually, is honesty.” 26:06 “I want to give people hope that my relationships are healed now.” 34:41 “I pray to something greater than me.” 50:33 “There’s more purpose for me in this life.” 1:01:...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “It’s hard to act in a healthy way in that very chaotic situation.” 4:10  “In retrospect, don’t do what I did.” 11:39 “That’s the most important energy you need from a guy, from a man, your dad, unconditional love.” 15:00 “They need to see that we work together.” 19:35 “When you can not communicate with your spouse, you avoid it.” 22:46 “Come from...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “I look back now at every obstacle being an opportunity for me to turn pain into power.” 2:57  “I’m brave because I’ve overcome multiple challenges.” 4:22 “You are a warrior.  You were born to fight.” 5:31 “Be truthful, not neutral.” 7:44 “Sometimes you have to burn a bridge to find your true calling.” 12:03 “I believe that bravery is like a muscle...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “I say every divorce has its own personality.” 5:13 “That is a perfect term for it, acclimated to the abuse.” 11:40 “What’s the alternative if you don’t do these things that your attorney advises?  What are the consequences of not doing that?” 19:29 “There’s the ‘BIFF’ model which a lot of people use when it comes to communicating with your soon to...

Key Points, Top Takeaways and Memorable Quotes -  “I think journaling is an incredibly healing thing that we can undertake.” 4:40 “Deal with things as they are, not as we’d like them to be.” -Ann @ 7:37 “Addiction is really just a disconnection with ourself.” 8:40 “People are doing the best they can with what they know, but it’s our responsibility to know more so you have to keep learning.” 10:34...