Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Dave's brain doesn't work! Mr. Short Term Memory! In the way, Dave! Negativity AWAY! Levity! Brevity! A dollar in the douche jar! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEVIN! Airline tickets are too expensive for shenanigans! Levity! Brevity! "Severance" is amazing, though horrifying! Useless degrees! Will philosophize for food! Rants! Lad...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Tinnitus! Defective Q-Tips! Disgusting ear detritus! Paul gets real! Back surgery is scary! Pain meds are fun! Red heads are weird! Catheters aren't fun! You really want to pass the catheter test! Paul Nightingale! Screws, rods, and holes! Tooth in eye disease! Seeing eye tooth! Paul gets frustrated! "You're a 52-year-old...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Zoo-bee-zoo-bee-zoooooo! David hates something! Paul's zen vibe! Dave's Ninja Slushy machine desire! McDonald's pop tastes different! Crocs are ridiculous! Jibbitz!  They're JIBBITZ, GOD DAMNIT! It's called UNSCHOOLING! Dave's fear of children! Hernia fun! Surgeon's offices suck! Facebook reels! Dave kn...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Black mold everywhere! It's Brittany Murphy, David! We ain't dead yet! We were blown away by "Wicked", the movie! Oz was dark! The book was darker! Let's make life a musical! Dave's uneven! We missed you all! Sorry for being away! Posterior fusion surgery of cervical vertebrae sounds like a fun time! News is...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul's irritation! Irritating tics! Leonard! Dave might just be a bit irritating...! Little brother, Dave! White person taco night! Pico de Gallo! Boring recipes! Paul's delicious salad dressing! "Hi! My name's Steve, and I'm a convicted sex offender!" Bring that sass! Don't eat Boar's Head Meat pr...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Why is Dave doing what he's doing? To annoy you! Is it working? Paul is very demure and mindful! Dave got French right! Sassy Paul is out to play! Jools Lebron!  Look them up! Paul's sudden love of...feta?! Greek salad deliciousness! Glazed donuts! Paul ate ALL the feta! If you're offended easily, please don't listen!...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Episode 69 with someone planking on top! Saturday recordings! Dave is a little old man! LCBO on Strike! Doug Ford, brother of Crackhead Rob Ford! Dangerous edibles! Dave enjoys being high! The Great Mysterio! Dave has no point! Medicine time! Death denying society! Yay! Rick Mercer's ice flows! "The Office" is awesome! &qu...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Harrison Butker wants his wife in the kitchen making cookies! The Rule of Thumb was a thing! It's 2024, for goodness’ sake! Trad Wife movement is ridiculous! Right wing homosexuality! Stop thrusting your religious nonsense on me! Happy Birthday, CIA Amy! Happy 52nd birthday, Dave! Nummy Steak! Paul is an extrovert-introvert!  Dave i...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Laughter! Intros are fun! Amy Sedaris night! More WINE! Bye bye, OJ! Dave has a bunch of useless crap in his mind! We experienced solar eclipse totality! Bloody clouds! Car sickness! Day to night, back to day in minutes! Sharp shadows! The rapture will get rid of a lot of a-holes! Paul's phantom conversations! Special dogs! Glucose...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: It's WINE o'clock! French butcher! Gewürztraminer wine! David is a cheap drunk, apparently! Paul is a fantastic chef! Soy sauce problems! We enjoyed "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire"! Truman Capote was annoying! Smoking is gross! Vaping is ridiculous! Solar Eclipse of the heart! Totality is where it's at, baby! All t...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Gross songs! Thanks, Tim! Yeast is still gross! Paula Abdul! Paul's songs and music ADHD! Yes, and?! Madonna is a jackass to her fans! We love sleeping! More BLTs! Dave??!! We miss John Candy! Paul isn't sentimental! Let's get rid of Dave's stuff before he dies! Dave is Paul's daddy! Pornhub pulls out of Texas! Y...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: The BEE GEES! Dave is a lady boy man! We're a day late, but yer getting an episode! Paul is the animal nanny! Olive the dog! Dave, the BLT master! No basic sandwiches for Dave! Paul is a basic sandwich bitch! Trailer park memories! Head Cheese sounds DELICIOUS! Happy Early 20th Anniversary, Doug and Chris! Have a fantastic voyage! W...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul's congestion! It's Amy Sedaris night! Low energy Friday! Hey Julieta, Diana, and Brit! Paul is empathetic! Dave...not so much! Dave was molested? WHAAAATTT??!?!?! "Saltburn" was not shocking to us! Uncut grave humping! "Short Bus" was shocking! Paul at Pine Knob! "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is unco...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: A Spanish flea! Happy 2024! Paul got COVID! Our fun health issues! YAY! We're boiling, globally speaking! SAD = Great acronym! Paul's TV show dreams! "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is cringe - but in a good way! "Young Sheldon" isn't Dave's fave...! Dave = Ruiner of Paul's enjoyment of shows! Blame it...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Ron the Gay Nosed Reindeer! I'm a power, dom top! Brutalized French, yet again! Ghouliani is SCREWED! YAYYYYY! Abuse of power finally slapped down! Andrew Giuliani is a huge POS, just like his dad! Rudy Ghouliani married his second cousin! Dave pukes loudly! Paul pukes quietly! Petechial hemorrhage = MURDER! Loud sneezing! Dave can...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Bing Crosby was a Christmas monster! Chevy Chase is a complete dirtbag! Schwetty Jingle Balls! Terry Bitchy! "Candy Cane Lane" is the shepherd's pie of movies! Dave isn't into the Marvel Universe...or "Star Wars"...! Dave's core 4: "Die Hard", "Home Alone", "Christmas Vacation&q...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Bad Beyoncé! Low energy! Hey Macao! Give us a dingle! Name change to "It's been a Hot Minute!"! Welcome to our newest Patreon member, KEVIN!  Hey Kevin! Let's all pee inappropriately on the plane! Full moons! Haaaaay Herbie! Leonard, the attention whore! Happy Anniversary, "Wicked, the Musical"! Our fun musi...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Creamy goodness! More attempted French! Ronnie Vino says hello! More poopy plane fun! Debagging??!! Steamy bathroom floor poo! Accident or on purpose? YOU DECIDE! Human garbage! STEWARDESS??!!  Wow...way to show your age, Dave! Kevin's flight attendant memories! Leonard! Paul's bitchiness! Throat punch with the sewers of hell!...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Sausages and dryers! October Friday the 13th, baby! Trumped solar eclipses! Dave is a hot dog aficionado! Paul enjoys mouth feel! Alcoholics! Lips and Assholes, Beaks and Feet! Karen! Ass cancer! Diarrhea plane, part deux! Crime scene sex doll fun! Dave's sex doll fun! Avenue Q! Stupid baby names!  SO STUPID! Ice chomping = sexual f...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Diarrhea, plop plop! When in doubt, reboot! David's issues! AGAIN! Welcome to our new Patreon member, Abigail! Depression is fantastic! Hot sex in the masturbatorium! Burps AND farts! Pumpkin spice latte! Taylor Swift enjoys some Kelce penis! Paris bed bug fun! Cole slaw cum! Greek salad! Mozzarella stick math! Diarrhea plane fecal...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Dusty Rose, Crystal Chandelier, and Mavis Ferryweather! Butchered French! We love Amy Sedaris! 1-900-Wank-Me! 250,000 or bust! RIP Johnny Hardwick! Falling snakes! AND Hawks! F You in Particular, Peggy Jones! "Birdemic Shock and Terror" is fabulous! Panties! Ghost divorce! Home wrecking from beyond the grave with Marilyn Monroe...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: RIP Sinéad O'Connor! Madonna...girl! "Barbie"! AT THE DRIVE IN!!! Discomfort at the drive in! Paul's crankiness! Delicious snacks! Paul's "Barbie" score: B-! Dave's "Barbie" score: F! Paul hates historical dramas; Dave loves them! Paul's birthday is around the corner! Charcuterie goo...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Colleen Ballinger is a weirdo! Dave loves cringe; Paul does not! "American Idol" cringe! Creepy people aren't always men! Leonard! Jonah Hill is an ass! Aboot! Civil War veteran teachers! Time blindness??!! Late to a plane?!?! NEVER!!! The Nanny union boss! In perpetuity! Shrinkflation!  What fun! Paul's delicious pas...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul and Dave on each other's tits! Wham! The movies are an expensive outing! We enjoyed "Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny"! Nazis are the best villains! Paul loves Kelly Clarkson! "Chemistry" tells a story! From weed to cocaine! Lots of likes! Let's play the skin flute! We're stupid bitches! Ontar...

Send us Fan Mail This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: The jazz styling of Dave and Paul! Movement disorders are fun! Dave 2-minute update! Meta Paul! Paul 2-minute update! Work sucks! Caulk! Dave's a handyman! 80s Aerobics! The world's on fire! Hey! Let's go visit the Titanic! Stockton Rush is a dipshit! We need toilets! Plural! Can you identify this bucket of your loved one?...