Dismembering Horror

What do you get when H.P. Lovecraft, Stanley Kubrick, Franz Kafka, and David Cronenberg have a lovechild? A gooey, tentacled, phallus, ooze-monster, of course! And boy-oh-boy did Ryan and Tim drip/pour/gush praise all over this new favorite with the most coveted of ratings: a double “buy it.” Get into the madness and brilliance of "Possession" as we grow our own little primordial, relationship dem...

This week we embark on a majestic, beautiful, and magnificent journey with the classic Japanese anthology film, " Kwaidan." With virtually nothing that didn’t work for either Tim or Ryan, it’s no surprise they rated this a “rent” and “buy,” respectively. The guys gush over the artistry and depth of these four ghost stories, as well as take care of clearing up Tim’s pronunciation of Ms. Dushku’s fi...

Don’t let anyone inside when you’ve got a baby inside your belly, or else the outside-person will want what’s inside you! That’s a confusing way to say that this week’s film is " Inside" —part of the wave of notorious “New French Extremity” films. Ryan and Tim agree that for all its gore and intended shock value, " Inside" is a swing-and-a-miss, earning a double “stream” that came dangerously clos...

There's a mom-ghost, ghosts... and Satan’s slaves. Also—zombies? We tried really hard to make sense of this week’s film by way of Indonesia. Sadly, it fell a little short. Ryan and Tim both gave it a “stream,” although Tim was a near “avoid.” Also, Ryan continued to be possessed by the demons of Paranormal Activity and shared some of his new findings. Where we watched: Shudder Satan’s Slaves / Pen...

This week we take an interesting and unassuming dive (let’s call it “the Dushku effect”) into a quintessential film in Ryan’s adolescence, " Wrong Turn." Tim and Ryan take an arrow to the eyeball for this mid-2000’s, hillbilly-horror vehicle: not even Eliza Dushku or “Mr. Serious“ could completely save this “stupid, stupid, stupid” film. Despite Ryan’s deep love for it, (and the subsequent high sc...

Ryan and Tim take an unexpected liking to the third installment of this haunted house, found-footage franchise—as Tim says, “It’s the greatest movie of all time… to stream.” Of course, that earned " Paranormal Activity 3" a “rent” from him, and a strong “stream” from Ryan. So come on in, set up those video cameras, and hear the guys explain why the 1980’s setting works so well for this series (whe...

After Errementari , we travel BACK to España with an interesting twist on the “whodunnit.” This week’s film explores some cool themes centered around blindness: what’s seen, what’s unseen, and the tensions therein. Though even with one of Tim’s new favorite body horror moments, Julia’s Eyes floundered in the overall execution, earning a “stream” from Tim and an “avoid” from Ryan. Where we watched:...

This week we turn on the gas and get blown away by " Mom and Dad," a filicidal romp that holds very little back. Our second Nic Cage movie did not disappoint. Ryan and Tim both rated it with a hearty “rent,” even though Tim was forced to bring back his old “Cobweb Continuity” segment (now with its very own, totally not-improvised intro song). Where we watched: Hulu Mom and Dad (2017) Written and D...

Sometimes simple is scary, and boy oh boy does " Calvaire" (The Ordeal) deliver. Ryan and Tim go a little crazy themselves over the intense thematic nature of this film (including a brief foray into comparing it to American Idol ), as well as the in-your-face, stark, disturbing realism. Rating it with a “stream” from Tim and an elusive “buy” from Ryan, don’t be fooled: this movie is well worth the...

“THEY’RE US!” That’s right folks, this week we went to the theaters to see the acclaimed Jordan Peele film "Us." Not only that, but we were thrilled to have our very first guest on the show, Michael Tucker of Lessons from the Screenplay fame, as he celebrates 1 million subscribers! We coaxed him into providing his expertise, adding his dismemberment of the film. Join us, and find out why we rated...

This week we travel to 1942; a time when the world was at war, Tim’s grandparents were falling in love, and a Serbian immigrant was turning into a cat. Tim and Ryan almost get into their own “cat fight” over this film... just “kitten.” Despite a split rating of “stream” and “rent,” they still agree that it has “un-fur-gettable” moments.

AHOY! Get yer sea legs and jump on board this week’s episode with "Ghost Ship"—a movie where a bunch of really good actors wander around a cool haunted ship for two hours but don’t tell each other they keep seeing ghosts… UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. Tim and Ryan almost had their souls collected by the end of this one, earning it a “stream” from both of them.

VOODOO! This sleepy New England towns love some occult Voodoo—almost as much as the town Sheriff hates it. Dead and Buried brings back the O.G. version of the zombie, earning it a hearty “rent” from Ryan; and although Tim only rated with a “stream,” there was still plenty of praise to go around.

Ah, the pit-falls of parody. This week, Ryan and Tim long for the days of the flatbed indie filmmakers after decrying Evil Ed’ s failed attempt to pay homage to them. With a “stream” by Tim and a rare “avoid” from Ryan, it was clear that this film was a swing and a miss from the Swedes.

Just two episodes after singing the praises of Opera, Tim and Ryan tackle yet another Argento film: albeit this week to mixed results. Both gave Deep Red a “stream it” rating based on the artistry and fantastic deaths, but Tim only hoped the uninspired main character would fall to his death and put an early end to this muddled who-dunnit.

Find the boat keys! Also, don’t do drugs with random emo teens. This week Ryan and Tim watched the 2009 remake of Wes Craven’s The Last House on the Left . With two solid “rent” ratings, the guys explore the dichotomy between the very sensitive subject matter of this film, and the incredibly satisfying, well-executed acts of vengeance.

It’s all in the eyes! This week Ryan and Tim tackle another Giallo film—this time by the famed Dario Argento—and it’s not "Suspiria." Who knew the opera could be so much fun? With a “buy it” from Tim and a “hearty rent” from Ryan, the guys both gushed over the Argento's artistry.

He’s green! He’s super strong! He’s a scientist! He’s not The Hulk! He’s SWAMP THING! Ryan didn’t get “bogged” down in this week’s film despite its shortcomings, and would happily stream it, but Tim had to give it an “avoid.”

It’s "Arnold," the dead guy who terrorizes his family from the afterlife! You know the one? Ok fine, neither did we, but it was recommended to us so we had to watch it. Tim and Ryan agree that they would have avoided this film, but manage to find value in it, and always, have fun along the way.

They’re vampires! No— zombies! No— aliens! No— communists! This week Ryan and Tim come in for a landing on an alien wasteland with the Italian film " Planet of the Vampires." Our hosts differ not only in their opinions on this film with a “Rent/Stream” rating, but also on the influence it may or may not have had on certain future sci-fi staples.

“The brain sees what it wants to see!” This week Ryan and Tim go down a psychedelic dream hole invoked by the genius that is 2018’s "Ghost Stories." This anthology film earns high praise and a double-strong “Rent” from the both of your hosts, and maybe even a future “Buy.” Either way, it’s a must-see.

“Get to the CHOPPA!!!” — so Arnold can escape his soon-to-be-zombie daughter. This week got bleak with "Maggie," starring an against-type, can-act-like-a-sad-everyman-in-a-zombie-outbreak, Arnold Schwarzenegger. What could go wrong?

This week we went camping to "Lake Bodom," an aptly named NON-SLASHER that, much like the road you’d take to drive to the lake, was full of twists and turns. Find out if Ryan and Tim could get on board with this story “influenced by” a true set of murders at the infamous lake.

Santa, is that you? Nope, it’s just a Badass Basque Blacksmith who went back on his deal with the Devil and LITERALLY PUNCHES METAL with his BARE FISTS! This week’s film is a beautiful fairy tale that tickled both Ryan and Tim’s fancies, and teaches us that adults are dumb, kids are assholes, and the establishment is out to get ya.

Let’s press the record button ONE MORE TIME!!! "[REC] 2" is here— the self-proclaimed "Aliens" of the "[REC]" franchise—and they certainly delivered the action. PLUS ceiling-crawling demon zombies!!! This week’s film doubles up, and down, and up, and down (so many stairs) on the origins of the "[REC]" lore.