Destroy All Children

This week, we run down what's coming out (or not) in 2020. In George's Retro Corner, we meet the man, the myth, the legend... Wakka. Who doesn't love a good game of Blitzball, am I right?  Outro music - The Story So Far (Live from R40) by Rush Theme song by David Cassel

It's the best of 2019, at least among the games we played! We don't have endless free time, y'know. George had to play all the Aero the Acro-Bats, and I had a lot of Star Track to watch.

We celebrate the worst the year had to offer, and boy, there were some stinkers.  Next week, we'll have the Golden Gizmos, which will be a far less miserable affair.

This week, we discuss a game about a cop pervert or something. Where the hell does George find these things? I'm starting to suspect these aren't real games and I'm being taken for a ride. 

Now these are some Video Games worth talking about!!! Shoutout to Treasure! (In case it's not obvious, this episode was recorded before Death Stranding came out, and changed the video game industry forever)

We discuss two crappy games for a little while, before we decide to take on a true masterpiece: Gremlins 2: The New Batch.

We've both finished the newest Hideo Game, and we've got Things To Say and Thoughts About It! Full spoilers inside, obviously. 

Hey, get this: All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! hahah, get it? Remember that? Turns out that's from a real video game, actually. George played it, for some reason. Here's the classic video, if you've never seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQE66WA2s-A

Boy, I hope the creator of these games hasn't said some highly problematic shit! Oh... Oh. Uh-oh. This is, uh... Not good, what I'm seeing here. Hoo boy.

These residences are still evil, and only we can put a stop to it! Well, us, and Claire Redfield, and this whiny little dipshit named Steve, and also Leon S Kennedy, and, uhhh... Whoever the main character of Resident Evil 7 was.

I don't think anyone's ever heard of these games before. Something about zombies? Seems played out, if you ask me. 

This week we discussed the grandpappy of Survival Horror and a digital, possibly copyright-infringing, Jennifer Connelly. Also Illbleed. Because of course.

Hello BOILS and GHOULS, Spooktober continues with BOO more FRIGHTFULLY entertaining video SHAMES!!! 

https://www.gentlegiantsdogfood.com/ is the website for Burt Ward's dog food. Please note: it is not nearly as fucked up as it used to be. At the top are links to other pages, and previously, all of that content was on one giant, endlessly scrolling page. It was magical. You can see one version of this via the Wayback Machine, if you want to wait 8 hours for the page to load: https://web.archive.o...

There was a WIND FISH in the PERCOLATOR. 

Playing these games got us put on a government watchlist, and it was NOT worth it. Want to tell us that these pervert games are better than we think they are? Email us at americanretropie@gmail.com and there's a 99% chance we'll read it on-air, assuming you don't write anything legally actionable. Actually, even if you did, we'd probably read it, we don't care.

This week, Larry talked about Star Track. Want to yell at us about how we're wrong about video games? Email americanretropie@gmail.com and we'll probably read it on-air, even if it's about how we're a couple of shit-ass turd bags! I mean, that's not wrong.

Puzzles galore this week, as we talk about the stalwarts of the genre. 

This week we're in licensed game hell as we reminisce on some Disney and Pixar, uhhh... "Classics". 

This week, we decide to tackle these mainstays, these titans of the industry, these games that have had so many words written and typed and spoken about them that there's nothing we could possibly add to the conversation at large. So we take, uh... A different route.

Time for some classic Sega side-scrollers featuring anthropomorphic animals! No, not those. The other ones. No, the OTHER other ones. No, not-- you know what, forget it.

This week, George REALLY wants to talk about Power Rangers. Remember Power Rangers? George does. And Larry has to listen to it. 

We kick off American RetroPie with two video game classics, of very different sorts. Pay no attention to that talk of a previous episode, it doesn't exist. It definitely doesn't.