Desperately Seeking

Today’s episode is from the archives. A no longer available YouTube video, now in audio form. Not everything is your job, so Milo tell me. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mikhila.substack.com/subscribe

We watched SNL UK at the weekend and, as huge SNL fans, we were hopeful but nervous. Would it translate? Would the inevitable critical reviews kill it immediately? Would it even find an audience over here? I think they did a great job on their debut, some of the cast members are definitely future stars and Lee and I both agreed it was better than we’d imagined it would be. But he said something sp...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com Today’s episode is a chat with my friend, Karen, who suffered her own annus horribilis back in 2021. She found dark humour saw her through adjusting to her new normal and that’s how we first bonded.. because I too enjoy laughing through pain. But not everybody gets it.. and that’s what we’re talking about today.

I asked on instagram for some questions for an agony aunt episode and I didn’t get quite enough to separate them in to themed episodes so we’ll kick off with my favourites in this mixed episode and hopefully you’ll send in some more for next time. You can DM me on instagram @mikhilamcdaid or email me at hello@mikhila.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscriber...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com In 2024, at the age of 38, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I had been wrestling with the idea of private assessments for a long time. I had some amount of guilt based in my privilege at having access to that service where others do not, I also felt like a private diagnosis would be less valid. The real issue there was, v...

Welcome back to the newly renamed Desperately Seeking This week I was seeking clarity , I wanted to know why people pick up gardening in midlife who’ve never shown much interest previously and along the way I realised it’s exactly the same reason people who’ve previously been somewhat messy with money will decide to get a handle on their person finances. I was talking with a friend recently about...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com Today’s episode is on the heels of a particularly rude run of interactions on social media this week, some of the conversations that followed and how I am (and I wish I was) dealing with criticism of my life and the way I show up online. Nobody’s voice should be louder than yours in your own head.

Today we’re talking about why comparing yourself to the school gate mums (or worst still ONLINE mums) is not only pointless, but also not fair to anyone. We’re all parenting selfishly, you just have to recognise it and LET GO of your guilt for not doing the things you hate. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mikhila...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com Today we’re talking about the difference between wanting to be seen and wanting to be HEARD and why women are raised to think attention seeking is a negative trait while men are encouraged to be bold and assertive.

I am not above enjoying some internet commentary. I like to see someone who’s manipulating their audience be called out for their deception, but has it gone too far? It feels like everyone’s an influencer in 2026. Anyone can access affiliate marketing, every brand has some kind of ‘refer a friend’ scheme and there’s no way you don’t know someone in an MLM. So when I see whole channels dedicated to...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com Today’s episode was triggered by Hilary Duff’s new album. She has a few songs about family estrangement and, having a lot of experience in this area myself, I thought it was worth talking about. It’s often talked about as a ‘trend’ since it’s picked up on social media but is it? Or is it just more socially acceptabl...

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Have I spoken about this already? Once I started, I felt like we’d already done an episode on it but IF I HAVEN’T, I’ll do a full follow up with a ‘guest’ because I LOVE the topic of the Law of Attraction and I think it’s better demonstrated in conversation than anything else. If you have any of your own examples or questions, send them over and I’ll include them in that episode This is a public e...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com This was a particularly low energy episode.. but that was kind of the point. It’s hard to see it in yourself but vlogging every day this month has forced me to see myself in my life every day. The lack of motivation and convincing myself it was just too cold to get ‘dressed’ has to end with February. I cant control...

Parenting is SO hard at the best of times, but when you feel like the decisions you’re making will have a longer impact, when you have no time to fix things.. that’s when it can feel impossible. Today I’m talking about counselling your kids through the teenage years, choices at school, helping them decide what they want to be when they grow up. We will never know how much or how little our kids ne...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com I want to be clear.. I don’t hate how I look, I’ve always had a pretty healthy body image. I obviously don’t always LOVE how I look, but I' don’t feel awful about myself by any means. That said, sometimes something gets in my psyche and plants a seed. This week, that seed was Sydney Sweeney.

I’m on a bit of a mission this year. From my home to my mind, I want to feel lighter and more organised by the end of it.. so I’m digging through the rubbish. What can stay and what can go? Can I live with this or do I need to move it on? I have my fair share of undesirable personality traits but a lot of them, I’ve realised, make me who I am.. hopefully balanced out with some more positive elemen...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com Today’s episode it just for my paid members because it feels a little safer sharing vulnerable, personal stories behind a paywall. That makes absolutely no sense.. but trust me, this is a WHISPER in my mind Sometimes, when you’re still thinking about something that happened 20 years go, it means the relationship has...

The main takeaway from this episode is that ALL THOSE HOURS I spent trying to painstakingly level our voices when we used to remotely record podcasts together was POINTLESS because this was recorded on my phone and we were equidistant from the mic. I am just LOUD! Second to that, I think it IS true that we care less about perception as we age, but maybe in different ways. And the people pleasing i...

This episode is entirely inspired by a chapter in Amy Poehler’s book, Yes, Please! Call your parents today and ask them to tell you about the day you were born. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mikhila.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s episode is a run through of items I wish I could go back and tell my 30 year old self on my 40th birthday. I was putting this one off so here’s the off the cuff version.. possibly to be updated when the pressure is off This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mikhila.substack.com/subscribe

This episode was wholly inspired by Cass from Clutter Bug - check her out here - and the final nail in my overwhelm coffin. I cannot tell you how much lighter I feel for doing this and, for those of you who I’ve encouraged to watch that documentary - BUY NOW on Netflix - know that there’s a BALANCE to be found! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get a...

This episode was inspired by a DM exchange I had with someone who also struggles with ADHD and the emotional dysregulation side of things. She asked how to be better, be more compassionate and be more open (less negative) when her partner does feel like sharing with her. I thought it was a great jumping off point for a chat today. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other...

For the longest time, I avoided this practice. The closest I came was ‘gratitude journalling’ because acknowledging your highlights on dark days is helpful in pulling you out of of a funk. Reminding yourself of what you have is always a good thing.. but writing a ‘dear diary, here’s how I’m feeling’ was off putting to me for two reasons. 1. it felt very self indulgent (I mean really, what’s wrong...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mikhila.substack.com you can find out how to subscribe here: https://mikhila.substack.com/about A bit of accidental journalling did me good today. If I can’t ask for what I want, I can’t blame anyone else for not being able to read my mind.