Dementia By Day

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take!  Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on answering the question of going home, in 2022.  Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1eevWRMMGZ4T8zH1XOo3cF

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take!  Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on mini-reorientation in 2022.  Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/55TUmpAZ433bVedZsUipzf

Hey guys, this is our last episode of season 4! Thank you for joining me on this journey. "Wanting to go home" is a really common phrase for people living with dementia. 'Home' is not so much a place as it is a feeling. I'm sure you can relate to this. What we don't want to do is try to convince a person living with dementia that they are already home. Instead, let's focus on the 'what' behind the...

I had many people reaching out to me on Instagram asking about their loved ones doing different kinds of annoying things. The bottom line is, you may not be able to get them to stop doing these things, at least not completely. Eventually, they will stop doing it, but that would also mean that they have progressed in their dementia. What we can do is try to solve for what the underlying issue is, w...

I hear this one a lot. This is typically indicative of someone advancing in their dementia. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person is in the late stages of their dementia; it could be a result of a lot of causes. It could also mean that the patient is dealing with some depression or that they are taking some medication that makes them sleepy. Once we rule out the other variables, we do need t...

I hear some versions of this question pretty frequently. Having a spouse living with dementia is completely different from having a parent with dementia. The inherent difference in the relationship is what makes it difficult. The biggest challenge is that previously, this person used to make decisions together with you, and now it's all up to you. So, how do you keep them involved when they really...

Incontinence is actually a big reason why a care partner may choose to initiate a move to dementia care. Aside from the fact that it's an embarrassing issue, it can also turn into a big problem because for some care partners, it may begin suddenly. The truth of the matter is, there's no official timeline for incontinence, so there's no way of telling when (or if) your loved one will be dealing wit...

Like I've said in past episodes: we can't convince people living with dementia of anything that's not in their reality. So, bad news if you are trying to convince them that they have dementia. Here's my argument – why would you WANT to? Even if you convince them for a couple of hours that they have dementia, what happens the next day? Are you going to re-convince them? If a person has forgotten th...

What's the difference between lying and Embracing their Reality? I keep hearing people using this phrase incorrectly. There are a lot of people who consider themselves experts in dementia care communication and they are still telling everybody the same thing that you've been hearing for years: Validation, Redirection, Distraction. And that's NOT Embracing their Reality™. It's also not lying when y...

As you probably know by now, you are not going to be able to convince the person living with dementia that they are no longer capable of handling their own finances. One of the main things that people will hold on to with all their might is money. No one wants to feel like somebody else is taking control of their financial affairs. But when you are living with dementia and things are being taken a...

"What if at some point I say something that completely confuses the person living with dementia? Should I really do this Embracing their reality thing, because what if I embrace the wrong reality and then they get upset?" Here's the real deal: you are 100% going to say something you shouldn't have said. We've all done it. Especially if this person is living with you and you spend a lot of time tog...

This is a great question! But, unfortunately, this is a question that most caregivers don't ask until they are deeply burned out. Sometimes people don't give themselves enough space and time to take care of their own things. Actually, I used to be that kind of person until I got more serious in hiring other people to help me with my business because I realized that I can't do everything myself. Wh...

'What if my mom believes something that's not true, and I keep embracing her reality... won't that eventually make her more confused?' You've probably already guessed this one, and the answer is NO. There's no scientific evidence that letting a person believe they are correct will make them worse. In fact, if you are constantly correcting a person about their beliefs, that actually will be a lot w...

I get this question all the time! For starters, I don't like the term "memory care." Why? Because not all people living with dementia have issues with their memory. So, how do you know when it's time? Don't wait until they tell you it is time, because...they aren't going to. While there's no official answer to this question, the truth is that if you are thinking about moving your loved one, it's p...

This question is more common than you think, and it's usually related to doing different tasks around the house that we all take for granted, attributing them to annoying chores we have to do. However, for someone living with dementia, these little tasks can actually seem difficult and overwhelming. Why? Well, it's called task switching. Task switching is the ability to move from one task to anoth...

This one usually comes along with, "Is he going to lose his ability to speak altogether?" The answer is, like everything else with dementia…maybe. Aphasia is a communication-related issue that happens when the person loses his ability to communicate verbally. There are different kinds of aphasia and, although it is common in dementia patients, it doesn't happen to all of them. Join me while I expl...

You may not be in this exact situation, but I can guarantee that there's someone in your life that is not cool with wanting to transition your loved one living with dementia to a dementia care community. "Don't you have a caregiver come in a few times? Isn't that enough?" They are guilting you, but probably not on purpose. They may just be trying to help you go through this situation. But at the e...

This is a great question because this issue comes up differently for everybody. I've had clients who would get in the shower no problem one day, and the following day, it would be a complete battle to get them to get in the shower! So, why won't they do these easy tasks that they always used to do? And how can you help them get in the shower in a sensitive way? Listen to this episode and find out!...

If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you'll probably know the answer to this one… YOU DON'T TELL THEM. Your loved one may be pretty attached to that house and to the feeling of home that it holds for them, so you can imagine how traumatic it can be to tell them that you sold that house. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some tips and advice on how to deal with this subject...

This is a raw question that I hear pretty often... how do I tell my loved one that somebody in their lives has passed away? The short answer? YOU DON'T. I know you may feel like you have to tell them, but think about it for a second: Is it really a good idea to bring your loved one into that whole situation? Join me while I explore this difficult but common scenario in this brand-new episode! Visi...

What do you do when a loved one has received the diagnosis of dementia? Who and where do you turn to? Honestly, most people figure it out on their own… And if you are listening to this podcast, it's probably because you are looking for a place to start. Stay for the entirety of the episode for some tips and advice on this issue! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Car...

This is a question I get asked pretty frequently. Note: If you haven't listened to last week's episode about embracing somebody's reality, I recommend you do; because it all ties together today. Plenty of people go through the entire course of the disease and are able to place all of their loved ones on their timelines – but sometimes, this doesn't happen. This is where it seems that they "don't r...

Today we are covering an issue that's a real challenge for people, even those who have been living with a loved one with dementia for a long time. So, what do you do when someone you are caring for asks a direct question? Do you tell them the truth? Or do you just make something up? My Embrace Their Reality™ approach can really help you answer these questions. Tune in and find out more! Visit http...

We're back for season 4 of the Dementia By Day podcast!  Today, I'm talking all about how to know if the person I'm caring for actually has dementia. It's a question I get a lot because there's a lot of conflicting information out there on what dementia really is. Dementia is a group of symptoms that is caused by different types of diseases. However, there are nearly a hundred diseases that can ca...

This is my last episode for a bit! I'm switching back to blogging after 3 seasons of audio, so I hope to see you over on my blog come March! In this final episode of season 3, we talk about dementia care transitions. What's it like to bring in a home caregiver? What about moving someone to a care community? What's the difference and how can you make these changes as LOW DRAMA as possible? Use my c...