Delete Everything Podcast

In this week’s episode, Riley can’t find his white pants and Patrick falls in love with a seven foot tall woman with a dog’s lower half. It’s an episode filled with call backs and pitches for tv shows we’ll never make as we celebrate our 50th episode the only way we know how, by talking about the most random legendary cryptids from New York, California, and Alaska.

In this first installment of our Monthly Mini series, we’re taking a closer look at the insane life of Jair Candor, from being left to fend for himself as a child, to 36 years working with Brazil’s Indigenous People’s Foundation, to his discovery of multiple uncontacted indigenous tribes. Come hang with us while we talk about this guy who’s seen more naked strangers in the forest than you’d find i...

In this week’s episode, we do a taste test to see if we can determine the difference between long pig and khakua meat. Our assessment? They both taste just like young cassowary! If you can make it through the hail of arrow fire, you should join us on our private, isolated island as we discuss the North Sentinalese and Korowai tribes.

In this week’s episode, the boys aren’t sure if they’re dying of Dengue fever or from all of the poison dart wounds, but what they do know is that the ominous rustling in the bushes means there’s some ‘made for National Geographic’ type nudity coming their way! Put on your bug spray because we’re making contact with the uncontacted Kawahiva and Awa tribes of the Amazon rainforest. 

In this week’s episode, the guys don’t know if Joseph Stalin was a visionary who was simply unable to enact his communist utopia or if he was a big, dumb idiot who was better built for revolution than he was for leadership… we’re leaning in one of those directions, but you’ll have to listen to find out which. We’re dipping our Bolsheviks in Russian revolution this week, so form an orderly line for...

In this week's episode, the boys discuss three pretty badass ladies: Jane Goodall, Dian Fossey, and Biruté Galdikas. Join us as we talk about each of their amazing stories, what it took to get there, and what they did with their reputation and stature once they realized their goals.

In this week's episode, we make an attempt to appease a professor at a major university for that one time we back stabbed her in the middle of a huge bank heist. It was the last one, the one that was going to make us all rich so that we could finally get out of the game for good, and we stabbed her in the back... literally! Anyway, in order to make it all better we agreed to talk about the most bo...

Just a midweek call-to-action. We want your banana... pics. Send to our Instagram, our brand new BlueSky account, or our email at deleteeverythingpodcast@gmail.com . We'll make you internet famous! We're, like, a huge deal!

In this weeks episode, Marcel Vizcarra joins the guys for the second part of Fruit Wars! Why does such sweet tasting fruit leave such a bad taste in our mouths? If fruit’s so good for our bodies, why do these stories about them hurt our souls? Bananas aren’t the only things that bruise easily this week, come find out what else in this horrific conclusion. 

In this week's episode, guest host Marcel Vizcarra joins the fellas in looking at the effects of corporate colonialism via... delicious fruit? That’s right! Just when you thought that there couldn’t possibly be anything dark, vile, or insidious about your favorite dessert and breakfast foods, we show up to reveal their rather grim history. So sit back and let us ruin fruit for you. 

In celebration of Patrick’s birthday, we have a calm, thoughtful, collected conversation about songs that were banned in the wake of the September 11th attacks and why the reasoning behind picking those specific songs all makes perfect sense. At no point are any 9/11 jokes made nor are there any impressions of any songs/artists with varying degrees of accuracy.

In this week's episode, Riley and Patrick recreate their first ever episode, kind of.   If you’re a fan of shoving unhinged religious philosophies in your bum, racism toward blue people, and screaming your biggest insecurities at strangers while in your underwear in exchange for subpar orange chicken, then this episode is tailor made for you. After all, cults are more fun when there's also corpora...

In this week’s episode, we’re done celebrating Easter and now it’s time to get weird! So break out your E-meter and audit us raw, because we’re doing wacky crap like worshiping the now deceased Prince Philip as our messiah. Also, has anyone seen Shelly Miscavige? We’ve got a cool 9/11 electronica track we want to share with her. 

In this week’s episode, Patrick and Riley risk eternal hellfire and damnation to discuss The Bible, its history, and what stories didn’t make the cut. Is it a book that should be read as factual historical nonfiction, or a list of parables and fables meant to teach bigger lessons on how to create a moral society? Be warned: Nothing will prepare you for the end of this episode. 

In this bonus midweek episode, we pick up on Yasuke’s progress within Japanese society and where he goes after the death of Oda Nobunaga. This episode’s got it all! It’s got zombie ninjas! It’s got potentially old Jewish Samurais! It’s got heads getting lopped off! It’s got a disappearing black guy! What are you waiting for?!

In this week's episode, Jevon Bartley is back to help us discuss another historical badass. A nameless African slave turned freed man who ultimately ended up promoted to samurai by one of the most powerful men in Japan's history. Do we know a lot about Japan's history or culture? Not particularly. Are we going to talk about it at length anyway, possibly getting multiple facts insensitively incorre...

In this week’s episode, we’re picking right up where we left off in Royals Pt.1, both in terms of monarchy lineage and cousin banging jokes. How bad is tertiary syphilis really? How many phantom pregnancies is too many? Find out the answers to these questions PLUS how well Henry VIII could kickflip on this stupid episode!

In this week’s episode, we ask the important questions: Was Helen Keller a eugenicist? Was she the privileged beneficiary of a pre-Civil War South? Was she really blind and deaf? A plagiarist? In a romantic relationship with Anne Sullivan? So many questions and we answer NONE of them! Enjoy another futile week here at DEP.

In this week’s episode, the guys get in touch with their Irish ancestry, not through diligent research and deeply introspective conversation, but through drunken penis jokes and generally crass behavior… the way Maewyn Succat (rap name Saint Patrick) would have wanted. Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

In this week’s episode, we’re sailing the Chinese Seas! If you think you know pirates and you don’t know this woman, then you’re a foolish amateur! This episode’s got prostitution, piracy, betrayal, Chinese junk, having babies with your adopted son, gambling, jerks who murder civilians, and… flower boats. 

In this week’s episode, the guys genuinely gush over female Russian World War 2 bombing squads… specifically the first female combat pilots in the world. If you’ve ever wondered what teenage Russian girls and Lord of the Rings have in common, this is the episode for you.

In this week's episode, the boys are catering specifically to the guys listening in on the wiretap! We know you work hard, men (or women) in the unmarked van down the street, so this one’s for you. 

In this week's episode, what if we told you that beating up authorities, giving drugs to children, holding people at gunpoint, and using the United States Postal Service to ship humans could all be acts of incredible bravery? That's right! Things aren't always black and white, so pour yourself a shot of crappy, flavored rum and explore some shades of gray with us. 

In this week's episode, Riley continues walking on eggshells while discussing more of the history of American chattel slavery in the shadow of a growing abolition movement and Patrick takes too much cough syrup and fails his attempts to make up coded slave hymnals designed to pass along instructions for a revolt. Our second chapter of this two-part series has arrived, and we've solved racism... AG...

In this week's episode, Patrick and Riley try to maintain a solemn tone while discussing one of the more difficult topics in our history. We hope you find our ignorance charming and our jokes tasteful as we examine the history of chattel slavery and the beginnings of slave revolts and escapes in our first chapter of this two-part series.