Deconstructing Gaslighting™

Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast. I’m your host, Sarah Morales. Today’s episode may be one of the most difficult I’ve ever done, and that’s because the topic is SO TRICKY. It’s also super, super important. So, I’m going to ask that you hang with us for a bit. If it feels like a sensitive topic to you, I invite you to give my guest and I just five to ten minutes to see our hearts a...

This episode is going to be a tough one. Today my guest and I are going to talk about racial and cultural gaslighting. I say this is going to be a tough one, because as a white woman who, for the majority of her life, lived as a white, cis-gender, heterosexual, Christian woman, I was near the top of privilege – EVEN though I didn’t know it. And that’s kind of the point – when we are gaslit, we don...

Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast, and welcome to a new month, with a new theme. This month we’re going to be exploring different areas or relationships people experience gaslighting in, and we’re going to start with the one that people are typically MOST aware of – gaslighting in their intimate partnership. And I’m REALLY excited today, because I’m brining on a woman who gives rep...

Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast, I’m your host, Sarah Morales, and today’s episode it going to be a bit different. On Tuesday of last week, I put the final touches on my next speaking opportunity at a summit. The theme of the summit is post-traumatic growth, and my title, "I no longer fear the storm". Irony can be a bitch, because on Wednesday – the very next day – a bomb my ex b...

How much did you talk about sex and human sexuality growing up? What were the messages you got about sex and sexuality religiously, culturally, or even racially? I imagine MANY of you were like me and didn’t necessarily have many direct conversations about sex and sexuality, but oh were the messages you received culturally and religious LOUD! So, today, my guest and I are going to talk about how g...

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong. "You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're suppos...

There was this popular video from the Daily Show where Desi talks about how she’s trying to understand the male experience better by acting like a man: getting paid more for no reason, interrupting people more, mansplaining, and gaslighting via invalidating the other person’s feelings and telling them to calm down & don’t act crazy. And while it is funny, it’s taking on a serious topic – misog...

I have yet to know a human who has not made concessions in at least one of their relationships – between the gaslighting that we experience in our families, religious establishments, society, friendships, and intimate partners, it’s near impossible to not internalize things that cause us to doubt the validity of our desires and needs, and when that has happened, what is and is not okay in a relati...

“I hate how often you are forced to define yourself by your marriage status… now I have to check the ‘divorced’ box on whatever form I’m filling out. But all they give you is a box. No place to clarify. No place to explain… only a label.” Suzanne Reeves. Only a label. Single. Married. Divorced. Or even, “It’s complicated” lol. All of us, at least at one point in our lives, was single. So, one woul...

Love is an interesting thing. As both a word and a concept, it can be confusing, full of pressure, unrealistic expectations, and loss – AND, there are SO many ways we experience GASLIGHTING around what love is, how we should love, WHO we should love, where we find love, etc. And today, my guest and I will dive in to talk about the impact GASLIGHTING has had on this thing we call “LOVE”.   If...

The theme this month is: LOVE. This is going to be a month of unpacking a few of the top ways I see the topic of “LOVE” and Gaslighting intersecting. AND we’re going to start it off with an amazing colleague that put up a post on social media that read, “embracing your authentic self without fear of rejection can be accomplished when you stop rejecting yourself first.” Can you relate to that state...

This is a story about control, my control. Control of what I say, control of what I do. And this time I'm gonna do it my way. For those of you too young to recognize those opening phrases, that’s from Janet Jackson’s song, “Control”. Not only is being called “controlling”, or some version of that sentiment, one of the most used gaslighting phrases I’ve heard, most people who experience chronic gas...

Do you ever wonder if the behavior another person is doing is a gaslighting behavior or something else? Many of the old definitions of gaslighting are vague, and as a result, have generated a lot of confusion and mis-labeling. Sometimes, people ARE doing gaslighting behaviors. Sometimes, they’re just being an asshole. In this episode, I’ll give you some beginning tips to help you sort out what is...

A little over three months ago, a colleague sent me a link to a post where the author said, “Gaslighting is intentionally psychologically manipulating someone else into questioning their own sanity and/or reality. It is impossible for victims to gaslight themselves.” I deliberated as to whether or not I should jump into the conversation. I did. And I ended up being blacklisted. In today’s episode,...

Welcome back to DG the podcast, and welcome TO season 2! I’m super excited to bring a different flavor to the way I talk about gaslighting and its connection to so many different aspects of our lives! The theme this month is: NEW – as in new ways to understand and talk about GASLIGHTING! And today, we’re starting off with a HUGE bang as I interview one of the men in recovery that I have been worki...

Welcome back to Deconstructing Gaslighting, the podcast – SEASON TWO! In season 2, I’m going to change things up a bit – who I am, how I’m showing up in the world, and what I want to give to the world – has evolved – In large part due to the things I’ve been doing over the past year. And I think you’ll notice right away with the change in the theme song – titled, “Phoenix”! Let me read a few of th...

Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting, where today, Sarah and her guest have an important conversation around systemic/collective gaslighting. THIS can be one of the hardest places to undo the effects of gaslighting. Join Sarah and her AMAZING guest as they laugh, share personal stories, geek out, and give some super-helpful tips to break free and effect change – personally AND systemically. Come...

Does the way the word gaslighting is used make it difficult to know, FOR SURE, what is and isn’t gaslighting? The more it becomes a buzz-word, the more Sarah sees people left with more questions than answers when it comes to understanding gaslighting. We struggle to name the specifics of what we’re experiencing, continue to feel disempowered by focusing our power in the wrong places, are anxious d...

Do you sometimes (or often) struggle to know when to stand your ground and when to compromise or hold space for the other person’s unhealthy, immature, or unpredictable behavior? THIS IS A COMMON STRUGGLE – one that can very quickly take us out of our knowing. Join Sarah and her guest as they talk about how she is currently experiencing this, and some things she can do to help her STAY IN HER KNOW...

Are you in a situation where your main gaslighter is an ex that you share custody of your kids with? Do you, like Sarah’s guest today, struggle with co-parenting with someone who is actively still trying to gaslight you and/or your kids? Join Sarah as she has as “on-the-fly” semi-coaching session and help her guest receive some validation, support, and a few tips. Sarah shares about an epiphany sh...

Can gaslighters get “better”? Can they stop doing gaslighting behaviors? Today, Sarah brought on a special guest, and you will get to hear the heart and actions of a person that was both a victim of gaslighting AND the gaslighter for many years – and is now not only FREE of the hold of that behavior, but is also helping many, many people heal. All three offerings of Sarah’s 12-week course are NOW...

Do you struggle with body image issues? Do you, like me, find it pretty much a daily battle to not only accept, but LOVE your body – just as it is? Today, we’re going to talk about how not only external, but INTERNAL gaslighting plays a role in our body image issues. Sarah is VERY passionate about helping others truly understand gaslighting. This is the foundation for being able to OPT OUT of gasl...

Have you ever sought out help – whether that be a therapist, religious leader, life coach, or even doctor – and not only did you NOT walk away from that experience with the help that you needed, but you ended up being further confused, possibly misdiagnosed, and re-traumatized? Today, Sarah and her guest deconstruct how gaslighting is almost always a part of these experiences and give you some tip...

Do you have questions about gaslighting, or perhaps, you’d like someone – ANYONE – to help you understand whether or not your specific situation is one where gaslighting is happening? In today’s short episode, Sarah shares some ways you can get those answers. Sarah is on mission to help people move from a place of confusion and self-doubt into a place of clarity, confidence, empowerment, and peace...

Does it ever feel like your gaslighter says and/or does things to push your buttons? This can happen in a variety of ways, with a number of different results. In today’s episode, Sarah and her guest deconstruct how she experienced her gaslighter doing what we call poking the bear. Would you like to share your story, get Sarah’s brain on what you’ve experienced, and understand more clearly what’s b...