Death by Review

Not much is scarier than a being trapped in a building, surrounded by a blood-thirsty horde... Except for your partner and their BFF in the same room. Tell us what you think!

When I die, I want to come back with a motorcycle... and like, a sweet rack. Tell us what you think!

Absolutely vile. I am sick to my stomach. Why would anyone think a post Art Deco table would fit in with neo-mid-century living room decor.  Tell us what you think!

If Raisin Bran made a horror film... I've been more scared in line at the DMV... An unripened pear has given me more chills... Something something not a horror movie. Tell us what you think!

Iowa is for lovers... or whatever. </3 Tell us what you think!

Honestly, we are in such desperate need for a vacation, that this cabin doesn't seem that bad.  Tell us what you think!

* Awful, de-tuned clarinet folk music intensifies * Tell us what you think!

There's great ghost movies out there, like Grave Encounters, Paranormal Activity or Skinamarink... Then there's The Conjuring. James Wan movies would be so much better if they didn't suck so hard. Tell us what you think!

The only good nazi is an un-alived nazi.  Tell us what you think!

Honestly, this could have just been a Goosebumps episode... Tell us what you think!

Valentine's Day is for kissing, and hugging and chocolate and murder... And sexual tension between a bunch of men. They leave that part out.  Tell us what you think!

Oh Mr. Alien, please don't come sneak into my room and watch me while I sleep. Oh it would be just so scary if you gave me a little kiss on the lips and touched my butt with your spindly finger. Oh, the horror! Tell us what you think!

Do you like heart-felt movies that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Well this one won't do that. I mean, it'll make you feel something inside. Maybe icky... yeah, definitely icky. Tell us what you think!

No I promise, you're not on drugs... well maybe you are, but that's not the point. Strap in for MANDY, the longest Doom Metal video we've ever watched. Tell us what you think!

The art of stop-motion seems to be waaaaaay too hard to find even remotely enjoyable. It's like if someone decided to make waiting in line a full time job.  Tell us what you think!

Necromancy always leads to cults. Talking to the dead? Cult. Try to resurrect a corpse? Cult. Open a portal to an ethereal plane full of body-harvesting parasites that sprouts wiggly worms from your face? Believe or not, cult. Every time. Tell us what you think!

Let this be a valuable lesson to not get your kids a pet for Christmas. They will fuck it up and destroy the entire town in the process.  Tell us what you think!

"On this weeks episode of Death by Review, murder comes home for the holidays!! A sorority girl narrowly escapes the SLASHING and THRASHING of a mad man. Or does she?" ...Or at least that's what I would write if we we're an insufferable pair of co-hosts with a lack of self control and a tenuous grasp on broadcasting. Tell us what you think!

Imagine Terminator if it were based on Christmas. Now imagine it being made with a much smaller budget. Now imagine it with an ever more forgettable cast. This is what you'd get. Harbor Freight "Sarah Conner" and her band of alt punk dipshits.  Tell us what you think!

How the hell do you trap the devil?? It's not like they're a racoon, or Jess, looking for snacks, and just happen to lure them into a cage. Like, "Oh, come here little devil. I've got little snackies and Mean Girls on DVD." ...Come to think of it, Jess, the devil,  and racoons have a lot more in common than I realized. Tell us what you think!

You know, the tagline of this film is "There will be know leftovers!" And that just breaks my heart. The leftovers are the best part.  Tell us what you think!

Who the hell is Devon Sawa?... Tell us what you think!

ThanksKilling has it all! It's got Turkey! It's got boobies! It's got dad farts!! So sit back, relax and be horrified by how awful this film is. Gobble gobble motherf%#@er!!  DISCLAIMER!: DO NOT WATCH THANKSKILLING 3. IT IS A F%#KING WASTE OF TIME... Or do. I don't care. Tell us what you think!

Halloween isn't just for silly costumes and candy barf all over Mom's new rug. It's about murder. Lots and lots of murder... and tits.   Tell us what you think!

I don't always go to haunted attractions. But when I do, I don't.  There's something about haunted houses that give me the ickies. Maybe it's the feeling of being trapped. Maybe it's the pee running down into my socks. Hard to tell. Tell us what you think!