Dear Black Gay Men: Love Lessons

So much of our lives as Black gay men are socially prescribed. Bottoms must be submissive. Tops must be masculine. Versatile men must be freaky. Unfortunately, I don’t fit into any of those categories. My voice is high. My body gives “father figure”. My walk has tank of sugar in it. And I haven’t had the urge to get fucked in years. Then I met my boyfriend. Because I’ve stepped outside of the gay...

Have you ever been so ff the rails that you don’t know how to get back? That was my last argument in real time. My boyfriend and I were locked in a disagreement of my own making and I couldn’t see my way through to make a clear point, to communicate what I was actually feeling, or find a way back to our peace. My problem was I wanted him to rescue me. I wanted him to take charge and save me from m...

Beyond the Bedroom: Finding Your Identity When Performance Isn’t Required In the latest episode of Dear Black Gay Men: Love Lessons , Jai the Gentleman pulls back the curtain on a topic many of us struggle with but rarely discuss: the evolution of sexual identity within a healthy relationship. As Black gay men, we are often hyper-sexualized or fetishized by the world around us, leading many of us...