Dealing With My Grief

Two years ago I sat down and pressed record for the first time. I had no idea if anyone would listen and where this journey would take me. Many people thought this topic was either too sensitive to discuss or was just too much of a downer. I could not be more pleased to prove the naysayers wrong. I found that many others where going through the same pain that I was and it was then that I thought a...

I have often been asked how I feel about the subject of gun control. Many people thing that I am anti-gun because my father was murdered by someone with a shotgun. This week I look at what or who really took the life of my father and how we might truly get away fro all the senseless killing that is running rampant in the States. Look for a Youtube channel in the near future and email me (darwyn@de...

Life has continued to punch me in the gut in the month of December. It didn't help that I sabotaged what was this week supposed to be the interview with my mon by not saving the edited version. I have also had to continuously deal with personal issues in my life. My resolution for 2018 is to simply go where life takes me - for better or worse Just some general housekeeping: Look for a Youtube chan...

I've been MIA (missing in action) for a few weeks because I needed to  take care of a few things back in St. Louis. I didn't have the time it would take to keep up my regular production schedule. One thing that weighed heavily on my mind was the last conversation I had with my grandfather. He didn't want me to leave home and attend school half way across the country. I told him I'd only be gone fo...

No music this week as I'm on the road visiting family for the Thanksgiving holiday (which is why there was no episode last week). I had the opportunity to pick up some new podcasting gear on Black Friday in the form of two new microphones that' i'm going to use to interview my mother this week and I'm testing them out today. Anyway, that got me thinking about mu technology background and how I use...

After scrolling through the Facebook group and attending a podcasting conference. I was forced to reflect on the aspect of forgiving someone who has committed the most horrible act imaginable - killing my father. I was filled with every emotion possible for the first few years after my father's death... hate, anger, revenge, etc. But at some point I realized that I had to do one thing to begin let...

Math was always my favorite subject in school. My first memories of my father are of him teaching me to count money. I quickly learned my multiplication tables this way as well. The subject has come easy for me ever since, I took some form of math every year in school - including college! Why it is not a grief trigger for me I don't know. There are some things, however, that that remind me of my g...

This past week, one of the members in the Facebook group communicated that people still questions why she is still grieving a loss from 10 years ago. I personally believe that certain societal queues tend to lead people to think that we are at certain points in our grief recovery process and we are ok in our grief. This week's call to action : Let me know how you are going to incorporate your love...

After being cut off by a car on my way home, I asked myself why didn't the driver notice that there was no one behind me. was he focused just on my car and didn't notice that in the "big picture" it would have been safer to wait for me to pass because there was no one behind me. When it comes to grief the big picture involves opening our hearts, to other to let them into our world... the help faci...

As I sat in my office last week trying to meed a deadline, I had to yes the bathroom. The only problem was I needed to complete a though before I went and I didn;d know if I could hold it long enough! This got me to thinking... could using bathroom actually be related to my grief recovery process? Believe it or not, it is! Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe via RSS...

As I think about the heirlooms left to my by my loved ones, I started reflecting on the final time that I saw them or spent a considerable amount of time with them. This week I ask two questions: Do some people know that their time on this earth is coming to an end? And... What would you differently if you knew that this would in fact be the last time you saw or spoke to your loved one? I'm curiou...

I recently wore a watch that was left to me by my uncle. Wearing it made me feel closer to him... and it really made me happy. Here I reflect on things left to me be relatives. Do you have any heirlooms left to you, and if so do you incorporate them in any way in your daily life? Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to l...

I am often asked how long did it take me to "get over" my father's death. The short answer is I haven't and I won't... at least not completely. In this episode I use my time in the army and the activity of running to explain why. Now if I could just beat this cold!! Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHea...

While editing some images last wekk, I was listeing the CD "The B-Sides" by Prince. To clarify, before there was streaming music services and befor CDs music was sold on vinyl as a 2 sided disc. When you purchase a hit single, it was on the A-side of the record and the B-side was usually the instrumental of that song or some song that was deemed unworthy to be included on the album or some song no...

I had the opportunity to help move some furniture at an assisted living facility for senior citizens. There I met a gentleman who was trying to deal the challenge of just trying to walk a short distance. What I leaned from him in the span of 10 minutes is something I should have learned a long time ago - sometimes small victories make all the difference in the world Click here to subscribe via iTu...

As I turn 50 this week I have a lot to be thankful for... I'm half way to 100 I decided that I need to live life despite what's happened to me I can be an inspiration to others I think it's important to look back and figure out how to make adjustments to get through adversity. As I often do I take a look back at where I used to be emotionally and how I ended up here. Click here to subscribe via iT...

This week I want to focus on a few pieces of feedback I received from listeners. One person wanted to know why I don't talk about spousal loss and another is dealing with people questioning being vocal about a loss that has happened a few years ago. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact...

I took a week away from the microphone to take a vacation and go fishing on Lake Ontario. While sitting on the lake I realized that being on the lake and trying to catch some salmon was a lot like life and my grief recovery process. Picture of the big king salmon I caught: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/podcast/episode-78 Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type...

While looking at Youtube, I came across some clips of the Matrix. This got me thinking about how Neo's journey to find the truth about his existence mirrored somewhat my grief recovery process. Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone. Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here...

In Episode 15, Games and Grief, I talked about how I found chess and it was a vehicle for keeping me out of trouble and hor really helping me center myself. However, I did not go into any great detail about how it really impacted my grief recovery process. This week I reflect on the focus, patience, an the ability to re-evaluate the issues affecting my life and more importantlly my grief recovery...

This week marks the 44th anniversary of the passing of Bruce Lee. it wasn't until recently that discovered the Bruce lee podcast hosted by Shannon Lee and her friend Sharon Lee. While I had heard of Bruce Lee's teachings as a martial artist, I soon discovered that his teachings really where about life itself. while his teachings and philosophy are really quite simple, I have a tendency to over com...

This week's episode is dedicated to the memory of my cousin Brian and my cat Cody who both passed away this week. One of the ways that my cousin affected my life in a positive way was though the music he listened to. People in my neighborhood didn't listen to rock music, but my cousin did, and he didn't really care who know. This taught me that it was OK to be different. My cat Cody reminded me th...

I had the opportunity to discuss my loss with Win Charles, author of the book 'I, Win' who lost her mother a few years ago. What makes Win so amazing is the fact that she doesn't let the fact that she has cerebral palsy hold her back. In her own words, she is, "an able bodied person who happens to have cerebral palsy." Enjoy!

A few weeks ago while attending a family get togeter of family members I hadn't seen in year, someone approached my and told me that I didn't look like my father anymore. This made me take a step back on what members of my family and my father's friends used to tell me, "You look just like your father!" This week I examine exactly how this made or even still makes me feel. Click here to subscribe...

There are many people who I have allowed to "lean on me." In other words, I've been willing to help them in any way that I could when they needed something. Eventually I needed to learn that it was OK to lean back. Lean on me by Bill Withers Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to listen via iHeart Radio Contact me using...