Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons

The KYLO Show is a podcast hosted by Danny Silk and Brittney Serpell. They discuss "the principles and practices of keeping your love on and how to build, protect, and pass on healthy families from one generation to the next." Danny and Brittney interviewed Jason and Lauren about their journey of dating well in the midst of their less-than-fairytale circumstances! Enjoy! Patreon If you&a...

In Part 2 of A Plan for Pain , Jason and Lauren talk specifically about how most of us don't really know how to walk through a process of forgiveness. People tend to be so afraid of pain that we avoid the very process that leads to true and lasting freedom! Firstly, we have to change the way we see pain. The truth is that every painful thought is a GIFT because mourning leads to comfort. The...

This is the first in a series of two episodes addressing the idea that every person experiences pain in life, whether relational hurt, trauma, disappointment or hardship. No one is immune to life’s punches! In this episode, Jason and Lauren talk about the fact that pain has a voice that says, “fix me now!” And if we don’t learn to proactively navigate through the pain, we get stuck ignoring, stuff...

In episode 19, Jason and Lauren address making a decision to start a family and how to navigate this huge season shift in a way that protects your marriage connection and adds to the relational health and thriving of your family. Ultimately, having kids is the absolute greatest blessing, but according to the Vallottons, if you have the luxury of proactively addressing certain things with your spou...

In this episode, Jason and Lauren share one tip for success in blended families; build strong bonds of connection! Emotional connection is critical for the health of every family, but blended families don't have the luxury of enjoying the "from birth" chemical bonds that play a huge role in attachment and connection that biological parents have with their children. That said, there...

Episode 17 is a follow-up conversation to the previous episode’s interview with Cole and Caitlin Zick of Moral Revolution. In this episode, Jason and Lauren begin by explaining more about how sex inside of marriage is really all about the pursuit of intimacy. Lauren shares that how she experienced her sex drive before and in marriage were entirely different and that many people find that their exp...

When people struggle with their sexual connection inside of marriage, it’s often because of pain/trauma from their past, their unrealistic expectations of sex inside of marriage and/or their unwillingness to reach out for help in this area. Unfortunately, sex has been a topic that’s full of shame and full of pain for many people, therefore it’s largely avoided in the church. However, this doesn’t...

Episode 15 is full of insights that are especially helpful for people in the newlywed season of life! Jason and Lauren begin by sharing a perspective on the covenant of marriage that can really set newlywed couples up to make the most of this adjustment period into their new life together. The newlywed season is meant to be an incredible season of bonding, exploration and establishment in a marria...

In this episode, Jason and Lauren host a conversation with their good friends, Aaron and Jenna Zint. Aside from the wisdom and street cred that come from 14 years of marriage and three little kids, Jenna and Aaron have years of professional experience in the relational health arena that make them excellent resources on the topic! Together, they offer couples coaching and host an excellent podcast...

Life is hard, and in relationships, it's our healthy culture and firm foundation that enable us to navigate life when things go sideways. Unforeseen and challenging circumstances are inevitable, but they don't have to leave you broken and disconnected from the people in your life that are meant to be a strength to you in the hardship. In this episode, Jason and Lauren talk about changing...

In Episode 12, Jason and Lauren introduce the concept of Connection as the goal of intimate relationships. Connection is a felt closeness and deep, enjoyable bond between two people. Attachment styles in childhood greatly impact our ability to bond with other humans.  In order to feel deeply fulfilled inside of marriage or intimate relationships, connection must be strong, and connection is built...

In episode 11, Jason and Lauren take some time to answer 4 specific questions submitted by listeners like you! Each of the questions came as listeners enjoyed episode 9, Dating After Divorce . As Jason and Lauren answer questions, you’ll hear them discuss topics including processing pain, a healthy pace for dating after walking through trauma, how to navigate dating when kids are involved, and sol...

No matter your personality type, background, or lifestyle preferences, human nature is to be somewhat change-averse. Humans appreciate a measure of predictability and certainty in life, but life is just a series of changes and transitions, one after another! So how do we set ourselves up to defy the statistical odds that would tell us that major life changes and seasonal transitions would damage r...

In this episode, Jason and Lauren share their heart for equipping people to date well after divorce, but this episode is relevant to anyone with a past of any sort! Working through your past is a critical step in moving into healthy future relationships. One of the greatest risks involved in dating after a divorce is trying to jump into another relationship too soon. There is a lot of healing grou...

This is Part 2 of a conversation on conflict resolution! If you haven’t listened to Part 1, pause, and go back to the episode released on February 22, 2023! In Part 1, Jason and Lauren unpack the difference between conflict and BEHAVIORS in conflict, which can really make or break a relationship. They make reference to one of their favorite resources on relational health, The Seven Principles for...

So many people are terrified of conflict inside of their close relationships, and very few people feel really confident in their ability to engage in conflict in a really healthy and helpful way. But the truth is, a conflict-free relationship doesn’t make for a healthy relationship! Conflict is a natural and even necessary part of intimate relationships because conflict is the working out of two d...

This is the second and final episode in which Jason and Lauren share the details of their dating story. It’s been thirteen years this week since their first date! In Episode 6, they unpacked the following and more: what it was like to date each other while Lauren’s family had deep concerns because of the blended family situation, how they knew they loved each other, their first kiss, and how they...

Thirteen years ago this month, Jason asked Lauren out on their first date! So in honor of their dating anniversary and Valentine’s Day, they share their dating story in this episode! Who doesn’t love a good dating story?! Theirs has many twists and turns as Jason had been previously married and was a dad of three while Lauren was a student in the school where Jason was an overseer. There’s plenty...

This is the third and final episode in the Foundations of Relational Health series, and Jason and Lauren unpack boundaries: what they are and are not! Among other things, boundaries help us protect our main mission, our priorities, and our love for people. Jesus is our best model for how to use boundaries in order to stick to His mission in life! He responded to life from a confident posture, know...

In the second part of the "Foundations of Relational Health" series, Jason and Lauren begin by talking about the season of life in which Jason walked through a divorce and learned the importance of knowing and communicating your needs. Not knowing his needs contributed to the breakdown of his first marriage, so learning to locate and validate his own needs was part of his journey in gett...

This Episode is the first in a short series that the Vallottons are calling "Foundations for Relational Health." They unpack the idea that what is "normal" for one person is different to what's "normal" to the next person. Everyone approaches their relationships according to their own personal presets based on the culture you were raised in. Most of us feel that...

In this introductory episode, Jason and Lauren share a little about themselves and why they've started this podcast. Married for nearly 12 years, the Vallottons have a complex combination of relational dynamics. Divorce, remarriage, blended family, adult children, and babies are all a part of the story. They're both pastors and leaders at Bethel Church in Redding, California where Jason...