Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

If you find yourself getting dates but they never turn into relationships, you may be over-indexiing "dating skills" and undervaluing "relating" ones. In this episode, Julie breaks down the difference between dating skills (the spark) and relating skills (the glue), and why most people obsess over chemistry but ignore the skills that actually build connection. If you’re cycling thr...

Whether you've tried matchmaking yourself or just learned about it from TV, we're giving you a behind the scenes look into the art of the setup and what it truly means to have success when using a matchmaker. We're chatting with Jaydi Samuels Kuba, a Hollywood matchmaker, about all the challenges and benefits of matchmaking – and how to make it work for you. We discuss what she's l...

Situationships always have a villain—but it might not be who you think. In this episode, Yue challenges the narrative that the non-committal partner is the bad guy, especially if they have been honest about what they can offer. Inspired by the short film Making Space , she explores how we often ignore clear signals, cling to potential, and hope ambiguity will turn into commitment. Yue unpacks the...

Why do some relationships thrive while others seem to fall apart? The answer isn't luck; it's psychology. Join us as we dive into the next phase of long-term committed relationships and the 6 pillars we believe are truly the foundation of a partnership. We're discussing how to navigate the recurring cycles of a relationship fueled by both of your individual patterns and histories, why...

In this episode, Julie is breaking down the biggest change she made when dating the last time around before meeting her now-husband: seeking clarity. If you’ve ever overanalyzed a text, questioned where you stand, or stayed because “maybe it’ll become clear,” this conversation will shift how you approach dating. Julie breaks down why directly asking for what you need isn’t aggressive — it’s self-r...

Have you ever thought you knew why dating was so hard only for your best friend to have a completely different perspective of what's keeping you single? We're joined by two lifelong besties Sean & Ned to hear Sean's challenges of dating in a highly ambitious city like San Francisco where the ratios skew more men to women. And of course the perspective of Ned from his experiences wi...

Emotional connection is powerful—but is it enough? In this episode, Yue questions the idea that love can truly be “blind" but beyond just being physically attracted, and more about the general ease and connection you share in a physical space. Drawing from the TV show Love Is Blind (which she has gotten hooked this season), a recent experience with a friend of hers, and her own time in a"v...

Whether you're approaching 40 or have cleared this milestone, you may be feeling anxious about what's to come. We're talking to James & Claire Davis, better known as the Midlife Mentors, who are shedding some light on the evolving definition of midlife and how we can move from fearing this next chapter to recognizing its opportunity. We're discussing the hormonal and health cha...

What if the real risk isn’t settling… it’s misunderstanding what makes love last? In this episode, Julie challenges the way we think about choosing a partner. She explores a very simple but powerful statement that was made about the three things you need to find in a partner that will ensure you never settle that has truly changed how she thinks about relationships. If you’ve ever worried about pi...

Have you ever felt so burnt out on dating you wanted to give up? This may sound counterintuitive but we're talking about how decentering men and dating could be the key to removing this dating exhaustion – and ultimately finding your person. We're talking with comedian Allison Goldberg about how she shifted her dating strategy to staying open to meeting someone but not making her whole lif...

Ever feel pressured to choose a side on big life decisions? Yue explores the freedom of living in the gray area, especially when it comes to having kids. At 45, she shares why a "hard maybe" is empowering, not indecisive. She talks about why she doesn't need to be defined by any decisions (that may change in the future) and how to separate your own wants and desires from those of frien...

We're back with one of our most popular guests Dr. Paul Eastwick to debunk some of the biggest myths – from the outdated "dating market" mindset to gender stereotypes – that hold us back from finding great partners and realizing we have the attributes that make us a good partner as well. We break down the real science behind the importance of the qualities we think make someone attract...

Dating may feel harder, but has it truly gotten harder in the last 10 years? Julie is breaking down her hypothesis that what we do know is that it sure has gotten a heck of a lot noisier! Between social media, AI, and well-meaning friends, she discusses how this has causes an influx of overthinking in dating instead of leading with connection. She talks about what we can do to reclaim our intuitio...

SEASON 22 IS OFFICIALLY HERE! And it's also our 10 year anniversary special from when our first episode went live back in Feb 2016. We're to taking a trip back memory lane to when we first started the podcast – what was going on in our lives and what made us decide to start a dating podcast to begin with! We're also talking about the big shifts that have happened in the last few years...

Ever been told to "believe in yourself" and thought, "How?" Yue explores why belief isn't about commands but proof. Inspired by Nir Eyal, she reveals how your brain demands evidence, not motivation. Discover how to shift beliefs by collecting proof from past wins and admired relationships. Yue shares practical steps to turn daily routines into evidence-collecting rituals, helpi...

This week we're turning the tables and Yue is interviewing Julie now! Julie shares her experiences (and surprises!) about married life, including the unexpected emotional aftermath of the wedding. She reflects on her personal growth over the past decade, the importance of stability in relationships, and also how her anxieties have now manifested in different forms. We discuss the big 'What...

It's easy to get wrapped up in the chemistry and connection with someone without actually being objective if they have the capacity of a relationship (or the type of relationship you want!) right now. As someone who learned the hard way spending years with people who weren't ready, Julie takes you through 5 questions she'd ask today to get a better feel of where someone was at (many of...

We're back with a crowd favorite of when we interview each other! This week, Julie interviews Yue, starting with her reflections on 2025 and how she learned to not shrink herself and embrace the freedom to be her true self. She also drops something so surprising (she even had Julie in shock!) related to her current relationship and how she's been able to work through the challenges of unde...

With the throwback to 2016 trend, Yue reflected back to what she was like during that time when dating. As someone who was often told she was "intimidating", she shares how she used to view this as a badge of honor and as a way to attract men, but now realizes it was code for being emotionally unavailable and attracting all the wrong types of people. She shares why this actually held her b...

We often ask "Are they ready for a relationship?" but the more important questions is "Are you ready?" We're revealing 10 questions you need to ask yourself now to see how you relate to others, know when to stay vs walk away, and trust yourself in the process of finding love. We're also doing a final segment with Dr Serena Sterling, the founder of the new dating app Satya ,...

We talk about the need for emotional intelligence all the time, but what about relational intelligence? In many ways, it's as important or if not more! In today's episode, Julie's taking about the 5 stages of Relational Intelligence and how to put them into motion when applied to the common dating scenario of someone you're into not texting or setting up plans as quickly as you&#39...

As we approach the year of the horse – a year full of movement, momentum, courage and moving forward – we wanted to dive into how 2026 will look for each dating archetype. If you're new here, definitely take our quiz (https://howtobedateable.com/) or it's in our book 'How to Be Dateable'! We discuss the superpowers each dating archetype brings, the boost you need for 2026, and what...

We're all so rational when it comes to dating and trying to find our person. But what if we need to be a bit more delusional? And what's missing is that level of delulu that helps us envision what we truly want and actually believe it's possible. Yue shares why she's going to be embrace being delusional this year and how we all can get some of that magic back into dating, relations...

Happy 2026 all! We're back bringing that new year energy and sharing why 2026 – the year of the horse – will be better for your love life. We kick off this episode with a special segment with Dr Serena Sterling, the founder of the new dating app Satya , about what she's doing to change dating app culture (which includes keeping people in purgatory for bad dating behaviors!). We also discus...

Dating Sunday (the first Sunday in January) is the busiest day for online dating, seeing huge spikes in activity. So how do you maximize this peak dating season that runs through February? We're back with a quickie where Julie shares seven essential tips for maximizing success on dating apps during the peak season, starting with Dating Sunday. • How To Refresh your dating profile for the new y...