Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Society EN ↓ 733 episodes

Is monogamy dead? Are we expecting too much from dating apps? Do we even want to find love anymore? Get all the answers and more with Dateable, your insider’s look into modern dating that the New York Times, HuffPost, and Oprah Daily call one of the top podcasts about dating, love, and relationships. Listen in as Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick dig into why we date the way we do. Together we'll navigate modern dating with more compassion, fun, and intention so you can create the love life you've always wanted! Join us every Wednesday as we talk to real daters and experts about the entire gamut of m...

Author

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Category

Society

Podcast website

redcircle.com

Latest episode

Jul 10, 2026

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Episodes

7 DAYS OF DATING CONFIDENCE: Discovering Your Core Gifts (Day #2) 10.07.2026

In Day 2 of our 7 Days of Dating Confidence , we're talking about the confidence that comes from embracing who you are instead of trying to become someone you're not. In this episode, we're joined by psychotherapist and Deeper Dating author Ken Page, who helps us see that the qualities we often try to hide—our sensitivity, depth, passion, or quirks—may actually be the very things that...

7 DAYS OF DATING CONFIDENCE: Becoming Single & Happy (Day #1) 07.07.2026

To kick off the summer, we're bringing back some of our favorite episodes that restore our hope and confidence in dating—and remind us that being single doesn't mean putting your happiness on hold. In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Jenny Taitz to stop treating singlehood as a waiting room for love so you can enjoy your life as it is today. If you've been feeling discouraged or w...

Why We Thought We Had to Choose Between Passion and Stability: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 03.07.2026

What if the secret to lasting love isn't choosing between passion and stability, but learning how to create space for both? In this episode, we're exploring why so many of us feel pressured to pick between chemistry and security in early dating – and how that belief can leave us wondering if we're settling when the relationship feels calm or chasing relationships that feel exciting but...

S22E21: How To Have An Intentional Fling: In Between Relationships, After a Divorce / Breakup, or While Recovering From Dating Burnout 30.06.2026

When is the last time you felt that intoxicating rush of chemistry while dating? We're all about intentional dating to find a relationship....but we've forgotten about the excitement that comes from more casual dating sometimes. Whether you're in a season of life where you genuinely don't want commitment or you're burnt out from dating with an end goal in mind, we're discus...

Why You're Picker Isn't Broken + How To Choose Better Partners: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 26.06.2026

What if the issue isn’t that you’re “bad at choosing,” but that your sense of what you want is still evolving? In this episode, we're exploring the idea of your “picker” and how our past experiences don’t disqualify us from finding love but actually refine our ability to choose better over time (if we let them) We discuss the difference between actively choosing a partner versus passively acce...

S22E20: Love Hard On Purpose w/ John Kim 23.06.2026

We're getting real today...because building the type of connection that's real and honest takes us looking at love differently. We're joined by John Kim aka The Angry Therapist who challenges the traditional, views of loves, arguing for a more grounded approach that's more realistic. We're discussing the reasons his definition of a healthy relationship has changed over the year...

Why They May Be Ready for Love (But Not A Relationship): What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 19.06.2026

Why might someone feel ready for love, but still not be ready for a relationship? Today we're discussing the often confusing gap between emotional availability and relational readiness. Just because someone can feel love, connection, or attraction doesn’t always mean they have the capacity, consistency, or alignment needed to build a real relationship. We discuss how it’s possible to genuinely...

S22E19: Transitioning Through The Different Seasons Of A Relationship 16.06.2026

What if the healthiest relationships aren’t the ones that stay the same forever, but the ones that learn how to evolve through every season? We’re joined by Lauren who shares how her relationship has changed over the years – from casual dating to marriage, periods of deep closeness to phases of independence, and living together and apart. We’re discussing what it actually takes to sustain a long-t...

What Your Anxiety Means When Dating: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 12.06.2026

Is the anxiety you’re feeling a signal of real connection – or something happening within you that’s worth understanding? We're unpacking the complex relationship between anxiety and dating, and how anxiety can often be mistaken for chemistry when it may actually reflect deeper uncertainty or unresolved emotional triggers. We discuss the importance of recognizing your personal anxiety patterns...

S22E18: How To Actually Connect With People You Meet IRL...At Social Activities, Sports, Clubs, Events, and Beyond 09.06.2026

What if the reason meeting people feels so hard right now isn’t because you’re doing something wrong, but because the entire social landscape has changed? We’re unpacking what it actually looks like to meet people beyond dating apps in a world where community and connection don’t come as naturally built into everyday life anymore. We discuss why simply showing up doesn't actually lead to meani...

Why Texting In Dating Doesn't Matter As Much As We Think: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 05.06.2026

We’re constantly told that texting is the key to building connection—but what if constant communication is actually creating a false sense of intimacy? In this episode, we’re unpacking the role texting plays in modern dating, and how being in touch all the time can blur the line between real connection and just constant contact. We’re also talking about the pressure texting creates in relationship...

S22E17: What Everyone Gets Wrong About Being Single (From Someone Who Has Been Single Her Entire Life) w/ Dr. Bella DePaulo 02.06.2026

What if you actually love living alone and are sick of the pitying looks from those who couldn't imagine happiness outside of coupledom? We're joined by Dr. Bella DePaulo who describes herself as 'Single at Heart' and shares why she's happy as a clam (even well into her 70s!) and feels anything but lonely being single even in a partnered world. We're discussing how to know...

How To Not Abandon Yourself In Dating & Relationships: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 29.05.2026

We often think being a good partner means putting someone else first—but what happens when you lose yourself in the process? In this episode, we’re unpacking self-abandonment in relationships and the subtle ways people sacrifice their needs, boundaries, and identity for the sake of keeping a connection. We’re also talking about the difference between healthy compromise and losing yourself complete...

S22E16: How To Navigate Uncertainty (In Dating) w/ Simone Stolzoff 26.05.2026

If one things for certain, there's a lot of uncertainty in dating, relationships, and the world right now. We're joined by journalist and author Simone Stolzoff to talk about why people struggle so much with uncertainty and how this shows up in our romantic relationships. We're discussing the three traps that make us believe there's certainty even when there isn't, ways to buil...

The Difference Between Bad Timing & Readiness: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 22.05.2026

We often hear the idea of “right person, wrong time”—but what if that’s not really what’s happening? In this episode, we’re unpacking how timing and readiness often get confused in relationships, and why someone not showing up fully usually says more about their willingness to prioritize you than the timing itself. We’re also talking about the way we romanticize almost-relationships, and how that...

S22E15: The Dating Funnel That Will Get You From The First Date To A Real Relationship w/ Amy Chan 19.05.2026

Could you really be one to two shifts away from having the type of healthy relationship you've always wanted? Our guest today, Amy Chan, believes so as she talks about the dating experiment that changed her life (that you all can do too) and how to look at dating like a sale funnel to identify which part is tripping you up. We discuss the 5 stages of dating, why we often want to slide through...

The Right Time To Have Sex: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 15.05.2026

We often get the question—when is the right time to have sex? In this episode we're digging into what we wish we knew when it came to sex, timing and the intimacy / expectations that come from it. We're discussing the challenge that comes from outdated rules like having sex on the third date, why its less about timing and more about the connection you've built, and how to feel more emo...

S22E14: Bringing The Magic Back To Dating 12.05.2026

We've gotten so good at being intentional about dating, but in the process we've lost the magic. Today we're discussing how dating isn’t just about waiting for sparks or optimizing every move –it’s about finding the balance between the two. We dive into the tension between chasing serendipity and over-strategizing your love life, why leaning too far in either direction can leave you fe...

The Biggest Mistake In Dating: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 08.05.2026

What if one of the biggest mistakes in dating is also one of the most common—and hardest to admit? If you’re hoping someone will change or dating someone for their potential instead of who they are right now, you may already be setting the relationship up to fail. In this episode, we explore why we so often expect partners to change for love, how this usually leads to disappointment, and what it m...

S22E13: From Dating Struggles To Finding Your Person: Real Stories From Dateable Listeners 05.05.2026

What if we were to tell you in 6 years your love life would like entirely different in the best way possible? We're so excited to bring you this episode where we check in with some of the members of the Dateable community – many that we got to know super well over the pandemic from our Sounding Board Community + Programs – to see what has changed in their love lives and the biggest shifts they...

The Trait To Look Out For When Dating: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 01.05.2026

What if we told you there is one trait that predicts if a relationship will work out (or not)? And this absolutely should be something you're looking for when dating. If someone you're seeing doesn't demonstrate these qualities – don't just walk away but run! In this episode, we dig into what we wish we knew to look for in a partner earlier, that eventually we realized through our...

S22E12: The Science of Intimacy, Sex, and Love w/ Dr. Justin Garcia 28.04.2026

At our core, we’re not just wired for sex—we’re wired for deep connection with another human being. In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Justin Garcia, leading sex researcher, evolutionary biologist, and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, who shares the science behind why humans are driven to bond, love, and seek intimacy. We explore how modern dating both supports and disrupts our natura...

What's More Important Than Being Chosen: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 24.04.2026

Why do we place so much weight on being chosen and what does it actually get us? In this episode, we dig into how we’ve confused attention with real investment and chased validation instead of asking whether we felt genuinely valued. We reflect on the subtle ways performative dating shows up and how societal pressure keeps us focused on being picked and why the relationships worth having are built...

S22E11: Rewiring Your Attachment Style w/ Thais Gibson 21.04.2026

We all know our attachment styles greatly impact how we show up in dating and relationships, but what do we do if we have anxious or avoidant tendencies? We’re joined by attachment expert Thais Gibson, who shares how we can rewire our brains and nervous system to feel more secure. We discuss the ways that our childhood wounds directly correlate to our attachment styles, how to reprogram the subcon...

How To Tell It’s The Right Relationship: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To) 17.04.2026

If you’ve ever questioned whether a relationship is “right” you’re not alone. In this episode, we unpack how our understanding of healthy relationships has evolved over time, and why the ones that actually last often feel steady and grounding rather than dramatic or intense. We reflect on past experiences where chemistry and excitement were mistaken for compatibility, and how that mindset kept us...

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